Sometimes you see something that let’s you remember what the days were like before the Vida Guerra and Angel Lola Luv or even Jessica Biel thunder storms were embraced in mainstream popular culture. Yep, this chick’s ass has that old school “it’s tiny, it’s tooney” sex appeal and I don’t mind admitting that I do in fact like it.
Now see, I think we’ll need to run this tail through Brock’s assology tests, but seeing this reminds me how these skinny lil chick truly ran shit back in the Hair Band-Heavy Metal days. Side angle please.
Now see. This is where you really separate the thunder from the thunderette. That side view is oh so informative and it doesn’t lie. There really isn’t much depth there at all, but what’s there is shaped fairly well and as Andre 3000 said, it’s “something that fits well on her body.” But let’s face it, the thigh is neither here nor nigh and you couldn’t scrape up enough leg meat to make a KFC two piece salad.
My only question is whether this tail is pre or post squats and lunges? If it’s pre, she might truly be working with a little something en route to moderately thick white woman status. If it’s post, well, then I can only applaud her for beating back the negative arse virus that so many of my people are susceptible to.
Yep, that’s the money shot. Let me just tell you. To me, this ass is the ultimate compromise. I mean, I have friends who will tell you that they don’t even care about a woman’s ass at all because “I don’t use it.” Shocking but true. And then I have boys like Brock who insist on that thick thunder or they’ll just walk out of the room. As an advanced white dude I can honestly say that while I don’t think this is a “fucking great ass” like some of these other simple-minded bloggers have called it, I do think it’s objectively respectable and workable. All in all, this ass is indicative of where we all need to come together as a united people. Don’t get me wrong, if I had it my way, we’d all stop off at Kardashian’s or Vida’s ass. But this ass right here, in my view, represents something we can all agree on for now at least, namely, that most of us would hit and use dat ass to the best of it’s ability.
Am I right or am I right? And no I didn’t say what her name is because as the Rock used to say, “it doesn’t matter what your name is”…. Ok, Kristen Bell, happy?
– Lake
Tags: Kristen Bell
Us Versus Them 
May 22, 2008 at 9:40 am |
ionknow Lake, I thought long and hard……………about this one and I couldn’t recall a time (at least in MY life) where I gave the slim booty a once over. The earliest booty images I could conjure up were 2 LIve Crew’s ‘Pop That Coochie’, and Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby Got Back’. Even better- ATCQ’s “Bonita Applebaum’. Then I took it back to 84-87 – old Miami Vice eps with the slim (but healthy) Miami bootys. THen I thought about Gloria Estefan (the OG latin booty!) – no tiny asses in my mental archives lol. whats really funny to is that the aforementioned asses are mild compared to today’s standards.
May 22, 2008 at 11:03 am |
Great ass on this chick and I use it, liberally!
May 22, 2008 at 12:15 pm |
@Will: Ha…you brought it way back. I also recall pleasure principle Janet, who let us all know what a hook shot should look like.
@Lake: We may need to review the tape. While I agree with your overall analysis, I would be remiss if I didn’t point that she is being helped significantly by the leggings and no draws. I thought the hair-bands only cared about the J game.
Shout out to Will Arnett from Arrested Development. That dude is hilarious, if you didn’t know, now you know.
May 22, 2008 at 1:52 pm |
Ehhh..its decent, but thats kinda like a starter booty, for cats who dont normally “use” it but are open to experiment. Baby steps homie baby steps.
But who doesnt “use” the ass, come on, thats just plain stupid, dude who said that had to be a gay facer.
@ RosyF co- sign on Will Arnett dude is hilarious as Gob, the only person better than him on that show was Dave Cross AKA Dr. Tobias Fünke (Analrapist)
May 23, 2008 at 3:41 am |
Lake, what you’re referring to here is what we in the industry like to refer to as the “little fat booty” or, alternately the “little phat booty.” Known for its surprising heft and streamlined pop zones, the LFB is most commonly found on smaller women and skinny Carribeans. The true connoisseur can appreciate the LFB within its genre, as it is clearly not capable of generating with the same level of raw power known to reside in the Kardashian division. Please see Washington, Kerry and Alba, Jessica for reference.
May 24, 2008 at 2:33 pm |
While Kristen Bell can absolutely get it and appears to be working with something in her dumper, we cannot lose sight of one of least talked about epidemics sweeping America…
Sweatpants Deception.
While your thinking, but sweatpants give you the greatest glimpse of a public tailpeice, we’ve got to keep in mind that sweatpants are deceiving and can make any tailpeice look appealing. In this case, I believe Lake is correct in his judgment of K Bell’s dumper. However I think we should have a round two judgment and get a glimpse of her dumper in jeans.
In the words of the great Tracy Morgan:
“She just has that look in her eye that makes you want to take her behind the middle school and get her pregnant.”
Word.
May 25, 2008 at 12:50 am |
Check out Kristen Bell from the front side. http://average-dudes.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/kristen_bell3.jpg
Also, props on the scary pic of Will Arnett looking like a child rapist.
May 26, 2008 at 10:22 pm |
C’mon fellas. As Raafman so eloquently stated, this chic is running a 4.55 40 on an extremely fast track. That’s not a bad time by any stretch of the imagination. However, the mediocre foot speed combined with the average body and just alright face leaves a lot to be desired. In fact, I wouldn’t even waste a first day pick on this chic. I’m sure she was a solid all-conference performer in college. With that said, this is the big leagues. I’ll pass.
May 28, 2008 at 6:12 pm |
Damn, the readers really hooked this topic up.. Never has there been a more thorough analysis of the UvT worthiness of an otherwise unassuming tail. I like it and yes, the “front” of Kristen Bell will be reviewed in due time…