Nick Cannon & Mariah = WTF of the Century

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Jesus take the wheel. Lake and KIR in NV from the comments you might both need to check the estimates on the divorce countdown, because when Nick Cannon commits to his second fiance in two years…he REALLY commits. Check this out:

wtf? WTF?!?!?!?!?!!!!111111one1!1! WHAT. THE. FUCK. IS. THAT? Is this dude serious? I originally thought that was some thugged out joint he got a long time ago. Nah player…that joint says “Mariah”. First of all, let’s get down to the basics. There is no reason. Not never. For a grown man to have the name Mariah written across his back in four inch tall letters from shoulder to shoulder. Second, you just don’t do that shit. At least do something that you can cover up later without looking like you’ve been in San Quentin for 23 years. Oh, and Mariah got one too.

A Butterfly, her icon for years that says “Mrs. Cannon” down the middle…oh and by the way she can cover that shit with a butterfly thorax in about three minutes when this wild ass relationship is over and it will look like it was never there.

What is Nick going to do? Start in one arm pit and write out “Where’s the gyM…ARrrr…I…AHhh don’t know” stretching over to the other armpit?

Dumbass. I guess Celebrity Love makes you do some crazy ass things. My hope is that it was like a game show.

Mariah: Nick you can either marry me and sign this little 80 page prenuptual agreement or we can’t do it.

Nick: But I love you girl. I want to be with you forever!

Mariah: How do I know that? I don’t know that. You can’t prove that to me. How about this, why don’t you go to the tattoo parlor and get my name tattooed on your back in big ass letters then we will fly a photographer down and take high res closeups of the tattoo and publish them in the worlds most popular weekly entertainment magazine in the world? Then you share everything I’ve got baby.

Deal or No Deal?

Nick: DEAL!

Even Howie thought he should have held out a little bit longer.

And so does Us Versus Them.

-Brock

=============Update===============

Fucking unbelievable. Brock aint never lied about the odd dichotomy between the two tats. That shit is just too overdone.. I mean, who was Nick’s tattoo artist, Raymo from Beat Street? That sit is awful. And how classy is it of Mariah to get that 2008 tramp stamp? Like we haven’t learned about Tat Regret in the last 10 years. Jeez. And what’s with her and the butterfly anyway? Maybe it’s just me, but I hate a butterly (lady bug too). They’re both still nasty to me. A butterfly aint nothing but a house fly’s hood rat cousin with a dope ass weave. It’s still a nasty pest that I don’t want around. Terrible.

Maaayne, the more I think about it, the more I’m beginning to believe that Nick’s “tat” would wash off like quicker than a dry erase board. Man, that shit aint real. I smell a publicity rat. No man with any damn sense (granted, I can’t speak to his common sense compass) would actually put those size letters on his back.

My bad LeBron. By the way, isn’t it a bit presumptuous for this dude to put “chosen 1” on his back? I mean, you hoop, it aint like you’re God or something. Come on now. And if you’re “Chosen” then why did the Celtics check your candy ass up out of TD Bank Norf Garden wih the greatest of ease last night. Shit, if you can walk on water, why can’t you hit a damn jumper?! Anyway, back to this tat….this is when you need an older man, preferably your POPS, in your life to just tell your ass “NO, you ARE NOT getting Chosen 1 tattooed on your back, boy…I don’t care what you say, now go downstairs and help your mother straighten the front room up, we’re having company over.”

Anyway, I’m starting not to buy and of this Nick and Mariah bullshit. I think it’s all a joke. I know, any minute now Ashton Kutcher is going to pop out and tell us how he tricked us all.

He’ll warn us against digging into celebrity lives… right? AHNT. Something aint right. We need Kir, who I guess knows this dude personally, to confirm that he could possibly be this clueless. Note that you never actually see them kissing in these pics. I don’t like it. The tat could not be any more overdone and while I probably would tat up for that kind of paper (what can I say?), I don’t think a semi established, somewhat working actor like Nick would do the same. I don’t know. I don’t like it. I have my money on fake wedding, fake tat, fake everything..hell, I’m not even writing this right now….Just wait, they’ll come with some wack “ha ha” we fooled you nonsense in about a month’s time. Terrible.

– Lake

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10 Responses to “Nick Cannon & Mariah = WTF of the Century”

  1. Will Says:

    *SPEECHLESS*

    im kinda pissed becuz NC is puttin the mssg out to young cats that shit like this is cool – and it ain’t. not a good look….not. at. all.

  2. Be On It Says:

    Ha! Told y’all Wack Cannon was working hard for the money! At least he did it for some paper, instead of these hoodrats I see with their man’s name scrawled on their breast. STOOPID! No man is getting anything of his tatted on me. Well, maybe someone with some serious cheddar, like… nope, there is no one with enough money. Maybe one of those oil sheiks, but ya girl is too independent and flip for one of those old @ss muslim cats halfway round the world. Y’all know they don’t play that independent woman bullsh!t.

  3. KIR in NV Says:

    I think we can safely conclude that Mr. Carey is a Them, and not an Us. If his previous body of work had not given us ample proof of dude’s suspect judgement, the ridiculous ink job he’s wearing does. Mariah ain’t no Mensa either so should they opt to procreate, the gene pool gonna be more shallow down there on the Them end.

    @ Will: I got no problem with the age diff in this relationship. Dudes have been running the same game 4eva.

    @ Be: You know girl that the only ink we be worried about is on that prenup we got to keep our business straight! The “property of” tittay tat is as played as the barbed wire bicep tat or tribal designs on YTs…WTF?

  4. KIR in NV Says:

    You know, now that I look at it, could Mr. Carey’s tat be of the henna (temp) variety? I’m gonna run this by the lab tech (aka my tat artist b-i-l) and get an expert opinion. I will submit those findings for further analysis by UvT.

  5. KIR in NV Says:

    Analysis reveals not likely to be a henna tat but composition of ink could be of a less permanent variety, like soy-based. Soy-based and other “less permanent” inks are used by artists when client may want revisions or changes to a design. Laser removal is not as successful for people of color.

  6. Royal Says:

    …Probably the funniest, most forward, and honest thing I have read in 2008.
    They are both out of their minds. I mean Nick Cannon already rocked pastel cardigans with them goofy ass checker board shorts in the past. Now in 08 it’s all about getting your ladies name inked on you too? I guess Nick Cannon and Rob Kardashian (Kimmy K’s lil brother) both gotta keep they ladies name on em for ‘hood status’….
    Least Chris Brown just hit us with the stars on the nape of the neck to match his boo…
    It’s gonna be tough for NC to join MS13 now with that gutter Mariah tatted across the back.
    Shameful.

  7. KIR in NV Says:

    @ Royal: Yeah, i don’t see Nick getting down with the MS13 either. Those cats don’t play.

  8. Will Says:

    @KIR: My young cats reference was for the obscene TATTING of one’s back – not the age thing; otherwise I’d have to call it quits with Halle; and I can’t have that.

  9. QUOTE « MRod says: Get to da choppa! Says:

    […] – Lake […]

  10. In Case You Missed It « Us Versus Them Says:

    […] Case You Missed It Lake dropped a hot line on LeBron in the post below in reference to his Chosen 1 […]

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