Example of the Elusive Zero Stomach


I’m in no way advocating this chick.  I don’t know her name, I don’t want to know.  I do, however, want to say that she possesses something that dudes talk about and enjoy, that elusive “zero stomach.”

And please don’t confuse the zero stomach with the meaty stomach or the concave stomach.  Don’t get me wrong, I love a good meaty stomach that still holds it’s integrity ala Brit Brit from back in the day:

Hey, every dude likes what they like.  And I have plenty on my list.  But that zero stomach is definitely a nice touch.  Not a requirement by any stretch, but nice nonetheless.  Now my female friends tell me that in order to achieve it, all the stars must be in line:

1.  She must have the predisposed genetic make-up aka “gets it from her mama”

2.  If she’s over the age of 16, “zero” probably requires some form of starvation

3.  The monthly hormone gods must be on vacay

4.  What little weight she does gain, must go to another area of the body lest she looks anorexic

But honestly, I don’t really care about any of that.  All I care about is seeing it every now and again like a beautiful rare tropical bird.  Even better when it’s paired with some decent thickness elsewhere.  I was so pissed at the VMAs that I failed to mention that Rihanna was showing a nice set of zero-esque abs that night.

Very nice indeed.  And yes, this is the kind of stuff dudes just sit around and talk about.  Well, at least the dude I know.  And fellas, if you haven’t broken it down like this, get better, more detail oriented friends.  Life is far more fulfilling when you have all the pertinent information.

– Lake

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11 Responses to “Example of the Elusive Zero Stomach”

  1. Be On It Says:

    Okay, Rihanna gets props because she keeps it tight. That first chick? Her zero stomach comes by way of Dr. 90210. Along with the lips and breasts.

    And what exactly is a meaty stomach?

  2. otis Says:

    hmm my fav stomach is megan foxs in transformers where shes lookin under the hood

    greatness i love it woot woot

  3. Brock Hardon Says:

    Be…some questions are better left unanswered. Remember this?


    Trust me, you don’t want to know.

  4. Be On It Says:

    I’ll take your word on that Brock. Anyway, to segue into something completely unrelated…when am I going to get my sanctioned UvT apparel?

  5. KIR in NV Says:

    Yeah, Brock, where’s the standard issue booty shorts and microtank you been promising?

  6. Lake Arlington Says:

    Haaa, this is hilarious. We are working on that UvT gear, coming soon. As for the Meaty stomach, it’s kind of hard to explain. It’s what Britney had. It’s when the stomach looks tight and right, but still has that element of thickness up in it. Ya know? Like Ashanti has it, too.

    @Otis – hey, that’s the muscle stomach, which is appealing, but different.

    Brock talks shat about my dip and scoop system, but he aint above it. Believe me, when you’re looking at a clean 6 hour drive, you can’t waste any time. Oh, I forgot to add that when I do the dip and scoop, I rock the left knee steering too. Don’t try that with a non German vehicle though. ahnt.

  7. otis Says:

    @lake – yeah i love that stomach though like its kinda hard to find a girl with it when she bends over in the movie and looks under the hood i lost it like yooooooo but yeah the zero flat is crazy hard to find but i do think a stomach is underrated cause it can set off a medium chick and fuck over a good chick if she had a kid and didnt tighten back up ala britney at the vmas last year

  8. RosyF Says:

    @Lake you’re too good to drive American? Ha.

  9. Killa Kaika Says:

    I see ya’ll love zero stomach. Here is a little something for ya:


  10. Will Says:

    Man what the fuck is ‘zero stomach’??? (‘nicca, wtf is JUICE?’ – chappelle lol) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlznhc1C0Vk

    Nah, my woman has to have some MEAT on her. I’ve had all types – personally I can’t get down with a skinny chik. I mean, I got them washboard abs myself 😀 , i just don’t like feeling washboard or even IRON BOARDS rubbing up against me! Gimme that softness anyday. I’ll take the (oh Lawd) Shakira belly dancer joint. or the Kimmy K ‘extra’ special…most models from Black Men when they NOT doing to super-suck-it-in photo – the list goes on lol


  11. Lake Arlington Says:

    haaa, will, that’s hilarious. look, the white boy is a punitive mufucker on that thinness for his ladies. and since I’m the King of the WhiteBwoys, you know I gotta hold serve. Zero it is…. dat ass can be a hero though. I agree, Fuck Michigan! ha

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