Posts Tagged ‘Yankees Suck’

Chien “Manye (?)” GONE!!!

June 17, 2008

Hey man. I’ve pretty much left these Yankees alone this year. I mean, I know they’ve righted that ship a little bit. I mean, kinda, right? They are above .500 and while they’re literally 5.5 games out of first as I type, they seemed like they were making a little comeback. Don’t worry that they already have the worst pitching staff in the American League East AND the highest payroll in the history of Baseball. Anyway, I decided to just leave the thing be, at least, until the end of the playoffs. Right. That was until the one bright spot on that shaky pitching staff, Chien-Ming Wang busted up his foot running the bases in an inter league game.

And now they’re saying homey probably won’t be back until September. Ugly. Lucky for ole Hank Steinbrenner there’s no salary cap in Baseball, because this little accident is going to cost the Yanks in the open market. Let’s face it, their pitching already sucked. They’ve already been out classed by the Sawks, Rays (huh?) and the rest of the AL East is breathing down their necks.

These fools best go ahead and give Jason Giambi’s steroids errrr gold thong (incidentally, which would you rather be accused of, ‘Roids or Gold thonging it?) for some good MLB karma.

But no matter what you suckas do, you’ve got absolutely no answer for the Red Sox’s still incomplete pitching staff or my main mang, Manny.

Consider the power shifted my friends. You’ve got no answer for Manny, Papi, Lowell, Pedroia, Youk, Ellsbury, and the fellas, ok? And you definitely don’t want none of Dice K, Becks, Wakefield and wild Papels. Nah. See those names I just listed, they’re stars. Yall just sitting ’round, looking like some biatches.

Now you’re gonna have to learn to deal with it.

– Lake

They Busted the Rocket Maaaaaaaaaan!

December 13, 2007

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And I think it’s gonna be a long long time
Till touch down brings me round again to find
I’m not the man they think I am at home
Oh no no no, I’m a rocket man (ROCKET MAAAAAAAYNE)
Burning out his fuse up here alone

What a fitting song. “Oh, no, no, no – I’m da Rocket maa-aan.” That Rocket Maaaaaaaan is exactly what the Doctor errr Dentist ordered for this whole Steroids scandal. It’s always been a Barry Bonds witch hunt, but now we finally have some collateral damage. Hey, I’m just glad we can finally and officially account for all wild glare young Andrew Pettitte used to come with back in the day.

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You kind of have to respect that controlled Roid Rage… Let me ask yall a question, how hot do these guys look right about now.

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Care to comment Manny?

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No doubt, just how I see.. All is well in the Bean.

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Nice team. Chock full of vitamin c, juice and ethics.

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– Lake

==================UPDATE=============

Shocker, ole ‘Roid Rocket Rog is now saying he’s “innocent.”  Right, just like you didn’t mean to throw that broken bat at Mike Piazza either, right?  I know, I know, you thought it was the ball and that’s why you tried to HIT HIM with it.  Sure thing.  Who’s this guy’s lawyer, the incomparable Shaggy?

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Trainer shot me up near the showers, Waddent me 
I never thought he’d roll over, it Waddent me
Took HGH by the staircase, Waddent me
My Legacy fucked ova!

Roger:  Ok, Lake, you got me.. you got me

Lake:  Oh I didn’t get you yet, should I git him?  haaaa

We’ll leave that for the coming weeks…  Love it.

“…Played by ‘Johan’ Santana…(guitar solo)”

December 4, 2007

Ok, that is the one and ONLY Wyclef reference you’ll ever get out of me. Yes, that was my ode to “Maria, Maria.” By the way, what exactly did Clef do in that song if ole boy was singing and Carlos Santana was playing the guitar… Somehow uttering “East Coast, West Coast” doesn’t qualify as a collaboration in my eyes. Oh well.

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Fresh off a World Series Championship and reports say that the Sox are the only team talking to the Twins about acquiring the best left hander in the game. Damn, maybe Theo really is the Don.

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Let me tell yall something. If the Sox get Yo-Han Santaner, there’s gonna be a lot of slow singing and flower bringing around American League ballparks next year.

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Are you serious? Johan Santana, Josh Becks, Dice K, Curt Schill, Wild Wakfield and Jon Lester/Clay Buchholz? Are you serious? With those bats in the line-up? And who are the Yankees to be setting deadlines on people, yeah right, just like they weren’t going to deal with A-Rod if he opted out, right?

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Whatever, let this deal go through and it’s gonna be a footloose Pap, a bedazzling Ortiz, Manny being Manny and another World Championship ring cementing the Sawks as a true dynasty.

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I look forward to it. Wow.

Here is what Curt Schilling had to say about it on his blog:

A rotation featuring Beckett, Santana as the top two is pretty much as good as it can get. The thought of pitching behind these guys has to fire ya up. That being said I look at it like this.

If we make the move we’ll have done so with Theo knowing whatever he had to trade to acquire him he can restock those spots either from within, or via trade. How much is too much when you’re talking about trading for the best left handed pitcher in the game? How much is too much when you consider what he and Josh could do over the next 5-6 years.

Finally an opinion from Curt that I can appreciate.

-Lake

2007 World Series Champs: Boston Red Sox!

October 29, 2007

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Behind the bat of Mike Lowell and pitching of a resurgent Jon Lester the Sox wrapped up their sweep of the Colorado Rockies tonight with a score of 4-3.

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(Mike Lowell’s a monster, for him everyday is Halloween)

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(Just give me the light…)

Manny Delcarmen gave up a one run homer in the 7th inning, and Okajima gave up a two run homer in the 8th, but Game 4 was never really in question. Give it to the Rox,they made a little noise in Game 4, but overall, this series was an utter ass whoopin.

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The truth is that the Rox were thoroughly outclassed by the Sox at every turn. The Sox’s pitching staff was nails all series long. The hitting was timely and the defense was just enough. It was literally like the Varsity v. the JV out there. Congrats to the Sox for winning two World Championships in 4 years.

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Get your dance and freak on fellas.

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And you know Schill and his lady had to get in the act.

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Even little Manny Jr. and Manny Jr. Jr. were happy.

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I guess Tito knew what he was doing after all. Theo and John Henry best get that checkbook ready, because Francona has earned it.

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Beckett was a beast all post season long.

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And for the Yanks..

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Well… there’s always next year. Ha.. Did you like watching the Sox win yet another world championship? Did you? LOL. Oh and don’t think I didn’t notice that A-Rod decided to opt out of his contract with the Yankees. I found it hilarious actually, guess who else did?

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Hey, how does that taste Yanks fans? I can just see it, a line-up card that has Ellsbury, Ortiz, Manny, A Rod, Youk, Lowell, Pedroia….shit, they could just stop batting right there. A Rod back at short stop please. Hey godfather, make that happen.

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– Lake

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Sucker Free Playoffs: Down go the Yanks…

October 9, 2007

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It’s not like everyone didn’t see this coming. Well, everyone except LeBron (by the way, what the hell was he thinking?) and a few myopic Yankees fans who have deluded themselves that “the Sox don’t want to see us in the playoffs”. True, the Sox didn’t want to see you, but that was only because the only place they’d see you was bass fishing or something. Hey, yall weren’t built for this….man.

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Only serious contenders need apply and serious contenders don’t spend $28 mil on a 45 year old juicer has been like Roger “HGH” Clemens. Ok?

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So while you’re discussing whether “the boss” decides to fire Joe Torre, Brian Cashman, whether A-Rod decides to opt out or if you can keep Posada and Rivera, remember this:

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(Manny iz King mang, the King homes!!!)

Dasrite, the Sox are better, Manny is being Manny and Ortiz is about to mess around and get the GOP nomination nod, because the Sawks are on a roll and are looking like the team to beat. I think Nino Brown said it best, “So C-ya and I wouldn’t wanna be ya“.

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(Drop down and get your eagle on)

Party like a Red Sox, T-T-Totally Dude!!!!!

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PEACE.
– Lake