Posts Tagged ‘WWE’

Wrestlemania 25: Hulk Hogan Vs. The Million Dollar Woman

November 28, 2007

Daaaaaamn. Now this just ain’t right. Hulk Hogan’s wife rolled out to California a few weeks ago and drops divorce papers on the Hulkster from afar.

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Is that like a steel chair attack? What else can Hogan take right now? He son is looking to be heading to jail for street racing that ended up in a manslaughter charge. His daughter dresses like this:

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I don’t even need to put her in the UvT lab to analyze whether she is tight or not. That is just a big chick right there, no two ways about that. Unless they airbrush her up.

How is this divorce going to work out? She wants a share of their millions of dollars worth of property and child support for their son. Does Hulk get to have those terrible obviously fake J’s back?

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I already know what’s going to happen at the trial. I’ve seen it a million times.

Hulkster walks into the court with his yellow tank top on. When the judge asks him for his opening statement, he just stands up and does this:

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Hogan starts off strong. Throwing lefts and rights. Body slam here, atomic drop there. But Linda rallys back. Child support, the house in Miami, the car collection, the master tapes of Thunder in Paradise. Hogan looks like he’s done for. He snaps back up shakes his head and gives her the point.

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That is when Linda is in trouble. We all know what comes next.

Big boot:

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Leg drop:

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Cue up “I am a real American”

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Linda doesn’t have a chance.

-Brock

WWE: One Wrestler Who Lived a Full Life

November 7, 2007

With all the wrestlers dying from steroids side effects uhhhhh heart conditions in their 40’s it is nice to know that one lived a full life before passing away. Ironically it wasn’t one of the hulking 200+ pound athletes that made the WWE famous, it was the Fabulous Moolah, a female wrestler.

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She was the champ in 2001. At 77 years old. Now this is the Fabulous Moolah I always knew. Was she ever hot?

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Yikes, she definitely looks like a fighter. What do the modern Divas look like?

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Right…I guess they aren’t really wrestlers now though. I’m with Vince McMahon, this is still better.

Now why is it that the only wrestler that makes it to a ripe old age is the Fabulous Moolah? Let’s take a look at the current roster:

Batista

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I don’t have that cat making out of the middle of next month.

Bobby Lashley:

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That ain’t natural either. But he’s supposedly hitting fine ass Krystal, so I ain’t mad at him.

How about a little before and after?

Johnny Nitro Before:

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and after:

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So his head just blew up like Barry Bonds, huh? What, were you doing, jaw lifts?

The Rock had it right. Cash in before you need to get your neck fused or you can’t walk anymore. The Hulkster says you gotta eat your vitamins, just keep em legal.

-Brock