Posts Tagged ‘When keeping it real goes wrong’

When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong: Vacation Style

April 30, 2008

We’ve all been on those cultural vacations or events where we just want to jump in the action. Like, if you go to Brazil during carnival, you just gotta get in there and rock that Capoeira dance, right? Sure, but you never do because inherently you just know that a loss is somewhere close by….just waiting around the corner. Well, this video is proof positive of that fact. I don’t care what level of shake you think you have, don’t try to do what the natives do. Just let it be, lest you end up like this chick.

Awww, now see. That was just terrible. I did enjoy when ole boy dropped that flying people’s elbow on her though. Maaaaayne, I’m not trying to be that guy, but what’s really going on with some of these wild Caribbean dance events? I mean, I know I don’t understand and I couldn’t, but you couldn’t even bang a chick out with the moves these cats are doing. They did everything but shoot the babe. That was awful and by awful I mean awesome. Baby girl, you have some shake, you got a lil slow wine, but leave the beach antics to the locals. Thanks.

– Lake

Mitt Romney: Errytime I see Black children Bling Bling, MLK Day obligations Bling Bling

January 22, 2008

There isn’t much to say about this video because it’s just so self explanatory. Just put this display at the bottom of your “Why Mitt Romney Shouldn’t be President” list (also known as my “Mitt’s a mufucka” list) which if it’s like mine, should be numbered at about half a c-note ‘long about now.

Simply awful and actually pretty hard for me to watch. Yep, I went ahead and slotted that mini debacle on my running “Mitt’s a mufucka” list like this:

65. Some Boston Big Dig ceiling planks (errors made on Mitt’s watch as Gobner of Mass) fell on one of my neighbors two years ago, she’s dead.

66. Tang inspired sun tanning oil and the white house don’t mix.

67. Mitt saw dark skinned people for the first time in his life, ON MLK DAY and immediately said “Who let the dogs out” and “Bling Bling” to fill the void.

68. Black people weren’t allowed in Mormon Church until 1978!!!! Actually, this one has been repeated 4 times at numbers 3, 7, 15, and now since I first saw this horrible video and thought about why Mitt actually went directly to racial stereotypes to ingratiate himself to those kids and make himself feel comfortable with their mere presence.

Don’t worry Mitt. The truth is that you probably didn’t have much of a chance with black folks anyway. Being told by your Church that they “bear the mark of cain” probably soured them on your candidacy long ago, ya know? People are just funny like that. But your strategy was flawed from the start, let’s face it, that never worked for Al Gore.

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It sure didn’t work for Hillary.

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Hell, it didn’t do much for Jesse neither.

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Lol.. oooh boy…I’m in trouble now. Brock’s gonna kick my ass! Hey, it was worth it. Hopefully he’ll just beat on my legs like Eddie and Charlie Murphy did to Rick James.

Anyway, Mitt, knowing your Republican constituents like I do, might I suggest a more ahem “traditional” approach? Yep, just go ahead and channel Rudy Guiliani for tips how to “celebrate” Dr. King’s dream as you guys see it:

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Oh yes, Rudy has definitely kept it real over the years.

– Lake