Posts Tagged ‘Weightlifting’

Doping Watch: 2008 China Olympics

June 5, 2008

The Olympic games start on 08/08/08 (marketing genius…that’s sarcasm) and that means it is time for people to pretend to care about national pride as a bunch of “amateurs” get to represent the country in international competition.

Now with the games taking place halfway around the world, that means that we will all know the results long before NBC elects to televise anything…but the summer Olympics also mean it’s doping time!  You know there are athletes “cycling down” from the roids right now.  If the Balco boys were still around there would be some clear, some cream, and by now they’d probably have some the rub, the balm, the paste and the salve getting people cranked up for competition.

So let’s crank up the Us Versus Them odds machine to predict which sport is going to produce the first dopes up athlete.

Weightlifting:  The guys are just too obvious, right?  But what about the chicks?  Have you seen these ladies?

Come on man.  Those babes are on that stuff.  First of all, why does it look like the little chick is lifting the same amount of weight as the big chick.  That ain’t right.

Olympic cycling

Yup, after Roid Landis, you know the cycling team is looking for an edge.  They are definitely on the watch list.

Gymnastics: Yeaaaaaaah, probably not.  Check out the Hamm midgets.

Have you ever heard these guys talk?  They sound like Alvin and the damn chipmunks.  These two are on watch all right, but it isn’t for dope.

We all know where the real action is.  On the track.

Sometimes it runs in the family.  Here’s what to watch for.  If one of these grown ass men has braces, they might be on that stuff.  If they drag the field by three lengths like Big Brown…they might be on that stuff.  If their first name is Maurice and their last name is Greene…they might be on that stuff.

My bad Mo, that was a cheap shot.

Here’s the best thing.  They media and the athletes are already rolling out the fact that the Chinese use steroids on their cattle.  Sure, blame it on the food.

First the supplements, now the food.  Get ready America, someone is going down.

-Brock