Posts Tagged ‘WAGs’

Tim Tebow Will Be The Greatest Quarterback Ever!

May 6, 2008

At least if Lake’s unified theory of Sports Wives and Girlfriends (WAG’s) holds up. If you are new here, Lake has put together evidence that a professional athletes performance directly correlates to the hotness of their Wife and or girlfriend.

Take a look at who Tim Tebow plays two-hand touch with after the games.

Oh my goodness. You know I’m an assologist, so this isn’t usually the pool I swim in, but as Ali G says…respeck.

I gotta catch another angle on this.

Young lady, I think you may be big Ms. Bossy and I don’t think that little drawings hands are supposed to be so far apart. Cute girl though. Interns, can you do any better. Full body shot maybe?

Well wait a got damn minute here. She’s thick in the thigh with dubs on high? Is that back ass cheek trying to explode up out the back? Dammit Tim, you better wife this chick. You will be a lock for the hall of fame. This young lady might make the hall of fame on this ummmm, body of work, alone.

Lake is going to lose his mind when he sees this.

Shout to Will in the comments for putting us up on this one.

-Brock

===============Update==========

Damn, Timmy T has that babe on his team? Wow. I can’t lie, she’s pretty dope. But you know how those healthy types can be. Maybe it’s just me, but I would guess she’s a clean 15 pounds heavier in picture one than she is in picture two and picture three she’s looking like Whitney from the current cycle of America’s Next Top Model.  And while the Hot Wag = Hot Performance on the field principle always holds up, he may want to put ole girl on a program to preempt that natural thickening agent known as TIME before that super thick top game turns into an Omega Moo special.

Now I know Timmy is a “Christian man”, but based on this Heisman, ole girl must be doing something right.

– Lake

Are you ready for some Football? Wives and Girlfriends that is…

September 6, 2007

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In honor of the first games of the 2007 NFL season, please take a moment to peep the NFL wives and girlfriends in anticipation of how these dudes will perform in the coming season. As always it is our position at the UvT Sports that you can positively predict how an athlete will perform based solely on the quality of his choice in lady. There are some glaring exceptions of course, Kobe comes to mind, but overall, it pretty much holds true.

1. Thomas Jones – Meagan Good

Let me just start by saying good guy Thomas Jones got a new start in NY with the Jets which is a good thing for his career since he doesn’t have to worry about Cedric Benson taking his shine. You know what else is a good thing, his lady Meagan Good in this see through black top:

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(she knew what she was doing when she pulled that shirt down tight for the camera man)

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Thomas, you gotta smile more for me bro. You are the man and I’m looking for BIG things from you based on Meg’s picture alone. Hot Dammit!

2. Ronde Barber

Ronde is a solid vet on a decent team in Tampa Bay. He’s got a Superbowl ring on his finger and regularly makes the pro-bowl. So why exactly is he married to Claudia Barber again?

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Hey, I aint saying she’s not attractive, she is.. it’s just, Tiki went with the Asian invasion and so too did ole Ronde? What’s wrong fellas, sistahs just don’t do it for ya? Again, why do the “speak so well” brothas always have to go this way? Bryant Gumbel, Tiger Woods, that damn scarecrow brained prenup sucker Michael Strahan (hey Mike, the Prenup is supposed to be for your benefit, not HERS!!!!).. But all I’m saying to these cats is hey enjoy your life and do what you want, but try not to be so damn stereotypical. Ok? Moving on…

3. Jeff Garcia

Jeff “Garcier” joins Ronde Barber’s Tampa Bay Bucs team hopefully as an upgrade over that bum Chris Simms. Jeff proved that “Garcia” isn’t just a name for him with his caliente choice of a wife, Carmella DeCesare, the 2004 Playboy Playmate of the Year (take a bow…Jeff).

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Now I know what you haters are thinking. You’re gonna hit me with that Randy Jackson luke warm love, “Lakey, she’s just ok for me dog. But I’m not all that impressed.” Oh really, peep these shots of ole girl sans Jeffery.

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Yo, she’s got that Noelia look in her eye and you know what, I believe her.

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Wow. There were rumors back in the day, thanks to TO, that Jeff was gay.. Um, if this is how gay cats rock it then maybe that hypocrite Larry Craig is really onto something. I mean, my word, what a hell of a cover-up for his supposed gay lifestyle. Arriba!

And of course there are more. For those of you who enjoy more ahem candid portraits there are a bevy of nude shots of Jeff Garcia’s wife, Carmelia DeCesare, that can be found HERE that I won’t post directly to our site. Of course, I haven’t looked at them either…I’m too classy for that.

4. Kurt Warner

Ummm, I don’t really know what to say about Kurt. His wife, well. She’s.. Seasoned is the word that comes to mind. Let me just show her to you:

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Awwwww, come on homey. I mean, look. I’m not here to hate (well, just a little) but you just gotta come with something more than this with your wife piece. I’m sorry. This makes Brady Quinn’s lady look like Giselle or something. My word, at least Kurt’s lady lost some weight since her days on the Brady Bunch.

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Kurt, for real. Look at Jeff Garcia’s lady and then look at yours. And you wonder why he’s starting in Tampa while you’re backing up Matt Leinart? UGLY!!!

I can’t do this no mo… I really just wanted to post that pic of Meagan Good and got carried away.. Oh well, I’m verbose, what can I say.

– Lake