Posts Tagged ‘UPS’

Big Brown, Corporate Shill?

June 2, 2008

I thought Big Brown was just a badass horse with an attitude and the ability to whoop ass on command. But today I was crushed, and the evidence was right there in front of me. Big Brown. You get it? No. Okay, if this was Nascar, this is how it would go down.

You just slap logos on every damn thing just to make sure the Nascar fans get the point, the cover the cars, they cover the driving suit, hell they even label kids in the crowd. I guess in horse racing, they keep it cool, keep it underground, you just name your horse Big Brown and you hope people think about this.

That’s right. The owner of UPS has skin in the game with Big Brown. This might be the biggest payoff ever. UPS is behind the most dominant horse in 30 years? If anyone actually cared about this sport this story would be huge. Instead, they gets some love here on UvT for trying to pull one over on the low low. If this horse wins the triple crown, UPS will get free advertising until the end of time. Forget the fact that UPS is trying to jack and entire color at their brand (at least it was a color no one wanted too badly), they are about to steal a piece of sports history!

Sorry, that picture has nothing to do with anything. Just some good old fashioned gratuitous UvT T&A. She’s dressed like a UPS delivery driver though…so there.

So I like this idea. If anyone has a thoroughbred that needs a name you can go ahead and name it Usver Susthem. We’ll pay you in interns.

-Brock

UPS: Everything is all Right

December 15, 2007

UPS announced that it was able to cut costs by changing the way their trucks drove their routes. Sound like a complicated issue with teams of engineers working out algorithms for years? Nah, they solved the problem by only making right turns at intersections. By not waiting at lights idling until traffic clears they were able to save three million gallons of gas and cut 28 million miles out of their delivery routes. Whoever came up with that better get a hot Christmas bonus. They save nine million in gas alone.

Their next big idea is to paint all the trucks so they look really fast too.

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I heard the geniuses at Nascar are thinking about changing the direction that all the racecars go around the track in order to make Nascar “go green”.

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Ricky Bobby wants to turn right, and Ricky Bobby ain’t a thinker, Ricky Bobby is a driver.

Their 2008 slogan is “Car Racin’ is awwwlllllright”. Hey fellas, changing left turns to right turns on a track isn’t going to work in your case.  Trust me.

-Brock