Posts Tagged ‘Tyler Hansbrough’

Duke Versus UNC: The REAL Biggest Rivalry In Sports

February 6, 2008

Well is is sweeps Rivalry Week on ESPN, so it must be time for the greatest rivalry of all time, Duke Versus UNC. Before I get started, how the hell did ESPN think they could stretch the Duke/UNC game into an entire week of games? Kentucky v. Florida? Sure I guess… Missouri v. Kansas? That isn’t making the top ten best rivalry list. Nova v. St. Joe’s? Nah player. Anyway, I digress.

duke.gif

And I know you all hate it, but as far as UvT is concerned, Duke will always be Us and Carolina will always be Them. Does it get better than this? Duke is #2, Carolina is #3, these are two of the best teams in the nation, they have a history of putting on a great game, oh yeah, and starting point guard Ty Lawson is hurt…

2390344-1202239937-220x165.jpg

Go Duke.

Just kidding, we’d rather beat them at full strength just to remove all the excuses. We need Paulus, Demarcus, and Henderson to bring their “A” game tonight if we are going to win this one. This is going to be a true battle of backcourt versus front court as the Duke guards are going to be scrapping with the big boys all night.

1223071-1173053682-220x165.jpg

You know Psycho T is going to try to be the hero. Last time he tried that, he ended up looking like this:

psycho-t.jpg

Then he ended up looking like this:

hansbrough-mask.jpg

Oh yeah, you know that the Dean Dome faithful are supposed to be a “wine and cheese” crowd. Why do they call that crowd “wine and cheese”? Well, Sam Cassell said it and he meant that the crowd was usually more full of ex-cotton and tobbacy growers and big time boosters than it is real College hoops fans. I can’t lie, they usually have their students up in the nose bleeds. At any rate, you got to remember that this is UNC, so if the crowd is wine and cheese, it’s gotta be Velveeta and Boones Farm because these people aren’t the most cultured folks you’ll ever see.

carolina-fans.jpg

I mean, until the North came down and liberated them from themselves, their idea of a restaurant was the local Waffle House.

In the spirit of Super Tuesday, let’s count up the votes to figure out who is down with Us.

duke-blue-devil.jpg

You know the Duke Blue Devil is down with us.

duke-nukem.jpg

Duke Nukem is down with us.

dukie-wire.jpg

Dukie from “The Wire”. Ok, I’m not trying to clown, but why does this cat look exactly like Lance Thomas in this picture? LOL….damn.

dukes-of-hazzard.jpg

The Dukes of Hazzard. With Daisy Duke on top of that car UvT might have to do a throwback ladies post in the near future.

the-duke-john-wayne.jpg

Finally, The Duke, John Wayne is always in our corner. In fact The Duke once said, “Life is tough, but tougher when you’re stupid”. No wonder it is so hard to be a Carolina fan.

-Brock

Balco T and Heels sit atop both polls

December 4, 2007

The North Carolina Tarheels moved up to No. 1 and former No. 1 UCLA fell to No. 8 in the latest ESPN/USA Today coaches’ poll, released Monday. In addition, North Carolina remained No. 1 in The Associated Press poll. Not bad for the boys in baby blue. After Carolina took the top spot in both polls, Tyler Hansbrough aka Balco T was ecstatic.

1173696757.jpg

I know what you’re saying, but Lakey, he doesn’t look so happy. Well, that’s Tyler’s happy face. If you haven’t ever watched the dude, he’s a pretty weird cat with a chemical imbalance I haven’t seen in the ACC since Tim Duncan was getting his robotic big fundamental on in the late 90s.

timduncansnarls.jpg

I pretty much thought the dude was a freaking cyborg or something like Bishop from Aliens. And just like Ripley, I don’t trust this big mufucka. Why not? It’s simple.

psycho-t2.jpg

Tyler is either a really weird cat or he’s really peaking and tweaking on the best and brightest steroids they can find out there in Missouri where he’s from (clearly he’s not getting his stash from UNC, they just got the cotton gin last month thanks to a time capsule they stumbled upon).

db-p-full-rednecks.jpg

Check out their English Lit Department.

I know, I know, it’s a great school and just as academically competitive as Duke. Riiight. haaa Look, I’ll admit, if Duke had majors in Hog tying, muskrat cookin,’ food shootin,’ Git’n her dun, Nascar, racism and tabaccy spittin’ as the Tarheels do — UNC at Chapel Hill would be a darn tootin tough school to beat. But since we don’t, I don’t think we want to be comparing the two schools academically, ok?

At any rate, somebody get Tyler Hansbrough a steroids test, tanning lotion and some clippers because I’ve pretty much had enough of what I’ve seen. Hell, this cat looks and acts like College Basketball’s version of Ivan Drago….”I play for me!!!”

tylerhansbrough.jpg 0310nose500x325.jpg262822.jpg

Until then or until he can show me he’s a normal dude with normal emotions and advanced language skills, he’ll be known as Balco T around these parts, ya dig?

– Lake