Posts Tagged ‘The Juice’

Clemens: He injected me, just not with ‘Roids

January 4, 2008

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According to ESPN.com Roger Clemens hit “60 Minutes” with that same line Eddie Murphy the Prince hit Eddie Murphy the Barber with in Coming to America.

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Barber: Well Goddamn boy, what kinda chemical you got in there?
Prince Akeem: I have used no chemicals, only juices and berries
Barber: Sheeyut, that aint nothing but a ultra-perm

No question, Roger is persisting with this “waddent me” defense of the claim that he used performance enhancing drugs to boost his career. Now he’s getting a little more specific saying that his trainer, Brian McNamme, the one who dimed him out under threat of criminal prosecution, injected him with Vitamin B-12 and Lidocaine, a local anesthetic used to treat skin inflammations and not the Juice.

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Don’t you love this “Shaggy” defense, which is really another Eddie Murphy creation, of “Waddent me” that Roger is trying to sell us now? It’s so hot. Oh, I get it, you were injected by this dude, only he was hitting you with B-12 and Neosporin for that butt acne errrr sensitive skin men have on their asses (?)..LOL.

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(Yall see Rocket’s lady? I think she may be on something too….5 kids and all ripped in the midriff?)

You gotta hand it to ole Rog, though. Through all of this he has remained himself. He’s just the quintessential asshole and always has been. I guess that’s what happens when the media gives you a pass for your transgressions during your entire career. Just like when he told us he threw that bat at Mike Piazza because he thought it was the ball. I know, I know, he had a flashback to KICKBALL when he could a fool out by hitting him with the ball while they run the bases.

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I get it. HA. How does hitting a dude with an alleged baseball make sense Rog? You think on that one, then answer me this:

If you’re bent over and Brian McManne, a professional sports trainer, was injecting you with what you thought (wink, wink) was B-12 and Palmers Coco Butter, then how do you really know he didn’t swap out those CVS syringes for some of those Balco ones?  What are you saying, that you never knowingly took steriods?

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I know, I know, as far as you know, that was B-12, Vitamin C and Jack Daniels coursing through your veins. Believe me, it happened to me too. I was just helping that UNC hick chick over the fence back in college when her pappy came out with the shotty…

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How was I to know we’d get all tangled up like that?

Come on, we all know the Rocketman is a liar. Oh and I bet it felt good when McNamme’s lawyer promised to sue your candy ass if you lied in that 60 Minutes interview or the presser you’ve got scheduled for Monday. Watch yourself son…

– Tabaccy spittin Lake with a ten gallon hat on his head

They Busted the Rocket Maaaaaaaaaan!

December 13, 2007

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And I think it’s gonna be a long long time
Till touch down brings me round again to find
I’m not the man they think I am at home
Oh no no no, I’m a rocket man (ROCKET MAAAAAAAYNE)
Burning out his fuse up here alone

What a fitting song. “Oh, no, no, no – I’m da Rocket maa-aan.” That Rocket Maaaaaaaan is exactly what the Doctor errr Dentist ordered for this whole Steroids scandal. It’s always been a Barry Bonds witch hunt, but now we finally have some collateral damage. Hey, I’m just glad we can finally and officially account for all wild glare young Andrew Pettitte used to come with back in the day.

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You kind of have to respect that controlled Roid Rage… Let me ask yall a question, how hot do these guys look right about now.

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Care to comment Manny?

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No doubt, just how I see.. All is well in the Bean.

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Nice team. Chock full of vitamin c, juice and ethics.

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– Lake

==================UPDATE=============

Shocker, ole ‘Roid Rocket Rog is now saying he’s “innocent.”  Right, just like you didn’t mean to throw that broken bat at Mike Piazza either, right?  I know, I know, you thought it was the ball and that’s why you tried to HIT HIM with it.  Sure thing.  Who’s this guy’s lawyer, the incomparable Shaggy?

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Trainer shot me up near the showers, Waddent me 
I never thought he’d roll over, it Waddent me
Took HGH by the staircase, Waddent me
My Legacy fucked ova!

Roger:  Ok, Lake, you got me.. you got me

Lake:  Oh I didn’t get you yet, should I git him?  haaaa

We’ll leave that for the coming weeks…  Love it.