Posts Tagged ‘suspect’

Homo Erectus Part 3: B2K, Marques Houston, Omarion, et. al.

December 24, 2007

Man, have I or have I not been talking about the fact that R&B is just an inherently shady enterprise?

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I mean, the bottom line is that you’ve got cats who are interpretational, artistic and sensitive crooning with cornrows, wife beaters and an ice grill on their face. I mean, if these cats weren’t doing R&B, they’d probably be doing ballet, interior design or something. Well, here’s the proof. This cat Raz B from B2K is officially putting all these cats and “how they get down” on blast.

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Look, there have been rumors that ALL these cats were gay for years. That includes all the fools from Immature (which includes Marques Houston, all these managers (Chris Stokes and company) and all these B2K (Raz B, Omarion, Ricky Romance etc.) cats.

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Can someone explain this picture to me? Yes, that’s Marques Houston, that one eyed fool and that other random cat from Immature shirtless, in bed together with the collective Zoolander expression…Crazy. And what’s even wilder is this video about the whole culture of Chris Stokes sponsored gay wildness.

Ummm, anyway, in this video, Raz B alleges that his cousin and manager Chris Stokes, Marques Houston, and all the rest of those infinitely suspect cats were involved in some “let me touch it” (4:10 mark). Note that he said, “It all started with Chris Stokes.” Then there’s something about “the guys,” which I can only assume are the members of the group, being asked to “take showers together.” YIKES!

Ahem. This cat’s name is “Ricky Romance” and he’s wondering how he got caught up in some gay shit? Lordy… I also find it interesting how this dude is saying “I’m not bitter and I’m not trying to get even” but meanwhile, homey has all of this on speaker phone, up on youtube!!! Damn.

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(That’s Stokes on the left)

And why is it that whenever somebody gets on some ole gay shit, the next thing that comes out of his mouth is some Bible verse and a reference to their newborn child? Arrrrggggh. Look, I’m in no way trying to minimize or belittle the trauma that must be associated with sexual assault, but don’t talk about “seeing God” and then backing that up with “I’ve been speaking in tongues since I was 11 years old” around a discussion of sex acts with your manager/cousin!

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You know what, this is all a bit too wild for me. Makes you wonder what Omarion was really thinking about in this shot.

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Terrible. No more posts on this topic. Ugly.

– Lake

Homo Erect-us Part 2

December 12, 2007

Look, I hate to keep harping on this, but I only have one question for you R&B fans, which one is the man in this relationship.

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Kind of hard to figure out, right? Do you go with the smooth and confident cat on the left who in the absence of this clown to his right could actually be taken seriously in a civilized society or do you go with the “I likes it smooth, then rough” clown on the right who has that eerie hard/soft, “I hit the weights and the salon erryday,” too tight shirt that reveals the extra tight tricep cat? Tough decision right? Look, both of you cats look gay, but maybe that’s just me. Why not just go with the early 90’s matching sweater vests ala Boyz II Men.

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These cats definitely need a spoon full of my favorite nutritious breakfast treat.

Hey Omarion, You’ve got my mom’s scarf where your heart used to be and I don’t like it. Not one bit. It’s times like these that I actually appreciate 50 Cent. Lie to me. Act hard, something, anything to avoid this type of shit.

-Lake