Posts Tagged ‘Shaquille O’Neal trade’

Shaq Shot the Sheriff…and He No Longer is a Deputy…

June 25, 2008

Whooooo Hoooooo whooooooooo!

Oh, this story keeps getting better.  Like Lake said, Shaq is just about on of the corniest cats out there.  Part of that?  The fact that Shaq has frequently and publicly stated that he hopes to be a cop once he retires for basketball.  He’s gone as far as to actually go through training and get deputized.

First of all, where did they find the 7’1″, 300 plus pound version of a cop uniform?  Second of all, can you imagine this dude running up on you after you committ a crime?

Well, after Shaq called Kobe a “ni**a” and asked he “how his ass tastes”, I guess the fake police department that issued him that bullshit paper badge decided that Shaq’s performace was unbecoming to the department…so they stripped him of his badge.

Hey Shaq, who has the taste of ass in their mouth now?  You’ve lost the fake job you didn’t need.  How ya like that?

Meanwhile, Vanessa Bryant just realized that if Kobe knows how Shaq’s ass tastes, she probably does too…

Now he’s really in trouble.


UvT Sports: Does Anyone Still Play in the East?

February 28, 2008

Well Damn, the NBA trade deadline was on its way and people in the West lost their damn mind.  Seriously, I haven’t seen people re-up this hard since Avon Barksdale had those packets dropping out of the windows of Baltimore.  It all started when Pau Gasol got traded to the surprisingly decent Lakers. When Bynum comes back, they are going to give people matchup fits. Bynum, Odom and Gasol on the frontline with Kobe in the backcourt? Three cats who are above 6’9″? Two of which can handle the rock from anywhere?


I don’t know if they can hold it together over a 7 game series, but damn, they’re gonna be tough.

Well I guess that raised some questions in everyone else’s mind also. Because the Phoenix Suns went on ahead and got big Shaq Diesel, The Mavericks picked up Jason Kidd, the hornets picked up Bonzi Wells, and the Spurs picked up Kurt Thomas. Kurt Thomas? Sounds boring, but someone needs to use up their fouls on Shaq, Pau, Dirk and all those other beasts in the West.


Like my man young aRa Chay in ATL says, Shaq just doesn’t look right in that Suns uniform.  I’d rather see him in the old school Orlando pimp stripes again.

Meanwhile in the East, the Pistons picked up Juan Dixon? Seriously? I guess when 60% of your starting lineup is on the All-Star team, you don’t need much help, but damn Joe Dumars, you can come stronger than that. Okay, in the East the big news is that the Cavs picked up Ben Wallace, Joe Smith (didn’t we ask why the hell he was still in the league last season?) Wally freaking Szerbiak and Delonte West. Fine, Delonte West isn’t that exciting, but that ought to balance out the Cavs nicely. The Bulls basically get Drew Gooden and Larry Hughes..which is swahili for “the opportunity to start scrapping and rebuilding their team right now”. (By the way, why the hell aren’t they good with Heinrich, Deng, Gordon and Duhon again?) And the Sonics got their hands on as many expiring contracts as they could.  Great, that will fill the seats, I’m sure Kevin Durant is really happy about that.  Kevin, how do you feel about that trade?


Yeah, I feel you bro.

All I know is that I’m scared to hook my NBA Live 2008 to the internet now, I don’t know who plays any damn where right now. By the way, why don’t they ask if I actually want to update my roster? I remember the good old days when I can fire up my old ass version of NBA Live and know that when I fire up the ’96 Bulls, I know exactly what I’m getting. On PS3, I loaded up the Boston Celtics on the wrong date and I had no KG, Big Baby Davis wasn’t on the already short bench, and there were about three backups to choose from. That’s not fun. I don’t want to be a GM, in fact, I don’t even want to have to manage fatigue, I want to grab starters like it is a damn all star game and go from there. I don’t want to watch the Pistons bench play basketball, and I damn sure don’t want to play with them on the video game I own. That shit is my property, it needs to go ahead and cater to my needs.  In fact, I want to play with a cross league, time warp version of the all star team. You know 2007 Kobe, 2001 Shaq, 2004 Kevin Garnett, 2006 Steve Nash, and a non back injury 2003 Tracy McGrady. Nasty squad right?

Phoenix actually looks nasty with Shaq hustling when he is in the game, but how long can that actually last? Dallas should be decent too. The Lakers should actually be able to make noise and go deep into the playoffs.  Oh yeah, and the Spurs are still the Spurs.  Out East the Pistons, Cavs and Celtics should be the front runners by a long shot.