Posts Tagged ‘Shaq disses Kobe again’

Shaq Shot the Sheriff…and He No Longer is a Deputy…

June 25, 2008

Whooooo Hoooooo whooooooooo!

Oh, this story keeps getting better.  Like Lake said, Shaq is just about on of the corniest cats out there.  Part of that?  The fact that Shaq has frequently and publicly stated that he hopes to be a cop once he retires for basketball.  He’s gone as far as to actually go through training and get deputized.

First of all, where did they find the 7’1″, 300 plus pound version of a cop uniform?  Second of all, can you imagine this dude running up on you after you committ a crime?

Well, after Shaq called Kobe a “ni**a” and asked he “how his ass tastes”, I guess the fake police department that issued him that bullshit paper badge decided that Shaq’s performace was unbecoming to the department…so they stripped him of his badge.

Hey Shaq, who has the taste of ass in their mouth now?  You’ve lost the fake job you didn’t need.  How ya like that?

Meanwhile, Vanessa Bryant just realized that if Kobe knows how Shaq’s ass tastes, she probably does too…

Now he’s really in trouble.

-Brock

Shaq Spits Diss Raps About Kobe and the Taste of His Arse? Awful.

June 24, 2008

Shaq’s act got old quickly. I mean, I was with my man when his good for nothing, ungrateful wife piece was doing the vida loca with the “personal trainer” but this shit is ridiculous. I guess Shaq was free styling, which by the way is one of those things you should just pledge not to ever do once you hit the age of 30 (and by the way, it should be past the age of 21, but I’ll let the hip hop babies live their dreams for an additional decade because I love ya). So this old ass giant mug was spitting pre made disses errr free styles and he started in about Kobe, how his ass tastes and why his wife left him…It was fucking awful, just peep it.

“You know how I be. Last week Kobe couldn’t do without me. Hey Kobe, how does my ass taste.”

Xactly…Oh and this is how Shaq rides off gracefully into the sunset in the twilight of his career?

“I’m a horse. Kobe ratted me out. That’s why I’m getting divorced. He said Shaq gave a bitch a mil. I don’t do that ’cause my name’s Shaquille. I love ’em, I don’t leave ’em. I got a vasectomy, now I can’t breed ’em.”

Damn, I guess we just got that full confirmation that not even the ghost of Red Auerbach himself was cheering harder for the Celtics to win than Shaq was? I mean, come on Shaq, how could you, one of the 50 best players of all time, a cat with FOUR Championship rings, have been reduced to a simple hater?

What happened to the good ole days? Hey Shaq, I’ll just go ahead and say what Kobe should be able but can’t say:

1. You’re all washed up. You SUCKED this year for PHX. I mean, ones of fans actually think that trade made sense and then even fewer liked it once you got there.

2. You’re not nearly as funny as you think you are, in fact, you’re a straight up Grade A cornball.

I mean, sure you’ve got personality, but truth be told, it kind of sucks. I know lots of people give you dap for being “a good guy” but we’re talking about a cat who does or does not have the charisma to rap, tell jokes and just be the man in a room. YOU DON’T HAVE THAT. Your “IT” factor died once your vertical became 1/4 of your waist size.

3. You can’t rap. Your album only sold because you were the only “rapper” meaning black dude that white parents ever heard of so they bought their kids your album by default. Your flow is god-awful and your rhymes suck. “Nick nack Shaq attack, give a dog a bone…..I know I got skillz man, I know I got skillz“.. Remember that? Fucking awful then, still awful now.

4.. If you keep this up, you’ll start to make people believe that Shaunie was right for ditching you and getting with Rico Suave.

Act like you’ve been there, kick back, steal that last year of loot on that contract and then just ride off into the sunset like Bill Russell or even Magic. Stay in your lane son and yes, even a crazy talented cat like you does have a lane. You don’t have the game to pull stunts like this my friend. And sadly for you, Kobe still does. Accept it.

– Lake