Posts Tagged ‘Sexy’

Does You Tube Make Unsexy Things Sexy?

June 11, 2008

We know that half of You Tube is filled with teenage girls selling off any hopes at a political future for 2 minutes of potential fame by shaking thier butts to mainstream rap music while dancing in their underwear.  All of that is categorically not sexy.  I’m talking about the simple things that inexplicably get millions of views.  Like this clip of Jessica Alba…it has gotten over 4 million hits on you tube and it is a video of her doing…nothing.

You know someone has stared into the deep recesses of jessica’s eyes like she is a long lost girlfriend who offers no contact except through their long distance webcam relationship.  For instance, that video of her staring at you just passed the video of clips of her ass swimming underwater.  And I know from experience have heard that the video contains some high quality footage.  Now, I know a little bit about our audience here at UvT so I’m pretty comfortable with with what will be the most popular video in this forum. 

Here’s another example.  I saw this a few weeks ago but didn’t want to post it.  The negative arse factor is high, the skills on the hula hoop are marginal at best…but this thing has gotten over 2 milllion hits in just a few weeks.

Not really that sexy.  But I guaran-damn-tee that someone pulled this video up at 2am for a little entertainment.  That is more action than you get in high end white strip clubs.  (I’m from the ATL, black strip clubs are a little different…so I hear.)

So if that is all true.  Someone, anyone explain to me why this next video has over 3 million hits without disgusting me or making me lose faith in the state of humanity.

Seriously, why has that video entertained over 3 million people?

-Brock

 

Adriana Lima: It’s Lima Time!

November 5, 2007

Adriana Lima is a Brazilian Victoria’s Secret model and always on everyone’s hot list. Now we like a special kind of woman here at Us Versus Them, so let’s see how she holds up.

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Ok, she’s a pretty girl. Brazil generally gives you what you want. This is your basic chick with a little extra exotic flavor. Fair enough. You know UvT likes that A more than that T, so let’s see what else we can find.

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We’ve got a slight turn here. Now I’ve got my masters in assology and I know good and well where this is going right now. Those hips and thighs aren’t even setting up right. She is silky smooth like Lake likes ’em though. Let’s move on.

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Now see…I told you. She’s up in here packing the Spongebob Squarebutt. That is confirmed negative arse right there. The cameraman isn’t helping her at all either by cutting off her buttcheeks at the bottom.  They just look like they might keep travelling down her legs with no crease at all.  There might also be some bad photoshop action in there making that line too straight.  She’s a cute girl though. I’ll give her another shot.

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Okay, at least she knows how to work with what she’s got. She tries to prop it up with her stance, but she’s not tricking old Brock. A for effort on the back arch though.

So why do people love this chick so much?

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Oh damn…That is a picture of pure sexy right there. It’s in the eyes, not in the thighs.  By the way, does the nipple make it porn or art?

Oh yeah, and just to prove I’m not blind, there is also this…

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She’s got some heathly lungs on her.

Welcome Adriana, you’re one of Us now.

-Brock