Posts Tagged ‘Reality TV’

Survivor Fans vs. Favorites Finale: Parvati Wins!

May 12, 2008

Well, it aint like Lakey F. Baby didn’t tell yall that Parv was going to win the million dollars…She did.

Anyway, congratulations to Parvati. She was definitely a better choice to win the game over Amanda. Honestly, aside from looking hot in her various outfits that were designed to show off that ridiculously rocking body, I don’t really get how Amanda could have thought she’d win again Parv. I mean, what did she really have? You had doe eyes Amanda:

Tight shirt, “my stomach is ridiculously tight” Amanda:

And “I fucked Ozzy (for real though) out in the dirt and next to some rats” Amanda:

And speaking of Ozzy, why did he go out like such a punk with that “you gave up my friendship for a million dollars” speech to Parvati. Wait, everybody is there for the dough, but you expect Parv to feel guilty because your cat ass just wanted her to keep you around so that you could take her out of the game? Is that how is goes? And with regards to this giving up your friendship for money foolishness, I think the only answer to that is HELL YES. Who wouldn’t give up your random ass friendship for cash. It’s not like she needs you to get coconuts and fish back in LA. SHE’LL HAVE MONEY TO DO THAT!!!

And Oz, all that rhetoric about falling in love with Amanda on National TV. Dog, are you serious? Come on homey, you played yourself. Can’t you smell a showmance when you see one? Plus Amanda is the most insincere chick in Survivor history. All those fake tears, doe eyes and bullshit was for the cameras son. She’s a pageant chick!

(Damn, does she ever look skrong in that bikini shot though)

Again, once Amanda gets to a place where they have restaurants, refrigerators and charge cards, Ozzy will cease to be relevant. I mean, just be glad that you were able to hit and move on. Damn, pull your skirt up son.

Lastly, for all the talk about Parvati finally playing a strategic game rather than being flirtatious, leave it to Parv to win based on flirting with some femi-nazi lesbian chicks.

I mean, the so called “black widow” Natalie was waaaaaaay off the board with that question to Parvati about her flirtatiousness in the game and how that translated to her sexual habits in the bedroom!

I mean, that was crazy. And no, neither Jeff Probst nor James got it when she dropped that random ass “question” about Parvati’s sex life and alleged flirtation with her terrible ass.

Lol. I mean, what was that about? I guess those little looks from Parv got ole Nat’s jungle juices flowing out there.

I can’t lie, Lesbian or not (and I’m not sure she even is) that Nat did have her moments with that extra aerobicized body. Though, I can’t support those balloons she calls breast. Them joints are faker than a three dollar bill. Still, that comment about how she thought Parv was flirting with her was unexpected and more than appreciated. Sadly, it came with all the manhater rhetoric, which I often enjoy actually, just not when there aren’t any dudes around. lol.

All in all it was a good season. Fine ass Parvati won.

Is it just me or does she actually look better out in the wild?

Definitely better natures way.

Moving on, Amanda’s fake doe eyed bullshit got her played again (she also lost in Survivor China) and we had some solid girl on girl, man hating subplots to keep it all interesting. As always a great show.

– Lake

The best Bachelor ever: Brad Womack is ICY…

November 21, 2007

Aside from the fact that he’s got a brother named Chad (I never did understand that corny rhyming named twins thing) this cat Brad Womack, the Bachelor, has to go up there as one of the best reality stars ever.

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For real dough, you just gotta etch his name in that Reality TV Stanley Cup right behind Flavor Flav, Dr. Will Kirby/Mike Boogie, William Hung, Chance, Nathaniel Golden, and Hoopz (of course)…in fact, let’s go ahead and run a picture of Hoopz..

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More Hoopz is always good for this and any other site. And yes, I will hit you with that reverse angle.

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(with no airbrush in sight or site. What, she’s got a g-string on)

Ahem, back to where I was. This cat Brad is an awesome dude. I mean, he reminds me of an older and less pimperish version of myself because homey has dry ice running through those veins. Listen, I’ve always loved the Bachelor. It’s just a good concept. One dude gets to romp with 25 women, then see about half of them in bikinis, only to kiss about 8 or so of them. Ok, so that’s cool and I always enjoyed those kind of odds in my younger years. But the greatest innovation by far has to be those “Fantasy Suite” dates where the Bachelor basically leverages sex for a rose. I mean, really making those chicas put their money maker and their mouths were that dude is.

Classic. What’s so great about it is that each one of them really go into that suite as if ole boy isn’t doing the exact same thing with 2 other chicks. I know, I know, he — no, they just have to connect on a “higher level” do figure out if it’s true love. I’m quite sure “true love” is something like what Andre 3000 described in his song A Life in the Day of Benjamin Undre:

15 love, fit like glove
description was like
15 doves in a jacuzzi catching the holy ghost
making one woozy in the head and comatose

So he hits all three chicks of course and then eliminates one. This year that decision was easy. The one chick was ridiculous and her family was even worse. She just had to go. Hit her and quit her was actually quite fitting for her punk ass.

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But this cat, he hits the other two and then goes to that final rose ceremony, ring in hand, after they both tell him they love him and disses BOTH finalists.

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I like how he set it up too. Insert country drawl which was half Dubyah Bush half Forrest Gump, “I jus- said goodbye to Jen-nee“. Then ole girl smiles (not too fast now). And then he just acts like he needs a shot of Dasani, followed by that “excuse me” where he jumps off the throne. Oh man..

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“Eye jus caint tell you that I’m in luv wit you..and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to dew”. Sure it is. Yes, ole boy ices out both chicks, a Bachelor first!!! Oh man, now if ABC will only have the vision to go with The Bachelor, this is the Remix Part Deux, Brad does it again. I know I’d be watching. And how ballsy was it for him to come with that “you know, I wouldn’t change a thing and I have no regrets” with regard to how things turned out. He knew that he iced all 25 babes out, he just didn’t care. Love it. Thanks Brad.

– Lake Womack

===========Update=============

Wow, so they have this After the Final Rose show. Boy, Brad is on the spot. Dude actually caught some boos when he came out. Ugly. Then the show’s host, Chris, reveals that he asked the show to send DeAnna’s dad out there because he was going to propose to her. So homey asks him, “why did you do that?”, answer, “Obviously I have some problems”….lol Homey, you aint got no problems. You’ve got all the right answers and all the right moves. And by the way, Jenni, the Phoenix Suns dancer is a solid thick white woman. Did I ever say that? Let’s see what the interns have for us in the way of evidence of thickness.

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Hmmm, not really good enough, but I’ll take it. Again, this show should be run by UvT entertainment, then all the angles, hell, all their measurements and vital statistics would be up on screen at all times like the NFL combine or something.

Boy, this cat is just the best. He reapplied that ice to DeAnna on the wrap up show. “I’m confident in my decision from that day..” Let me translate that for you baby.. “Hit the bricks baby, I got bars to run and chicks to get at…this is what I do.”

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Respek.

A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila: Episode 5 roundup

November 8, 2007

Ok, so I heard that Tila won’t be starring in the next show in the A Shot at Love series.

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Some of the news outlets said she was “fired” because she wouldn’t be in A Shot at Love 2. Tila said that it wasn’t true and that she just found true love. Well, from watching this last less than stimulating episode, I think that sadly that may be true.

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Well, I can accept that I guess. It’s probably more about the same way I feel writing this blog: at some point, there but so many pictures of Tila’s boobs, ass and face you can show until it gets tired.

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(or not, NSFW)

Moreover, unlike Flavor Flav and New York aka Tiffany Pollard, Tila actually seems like a reasonably sane person. Translation, she’s not all that good for Reality TV. I wonder who they’ll put up there next. You’d think it’s gotta be someone who likes guys and girls and it must be a woman at the center because I haven’t met a woman yet who thinks it’s cool that her man likes man on man love. Stay tuned to see who is the central figure in A Shot at Love 2, Hoes Return.

Anyway, off to the episode. So Tila had them do a standard silly “challenge” this time it was to wash off the car provocatively.

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(There was a little too much man rubbed up on machine if you ask me)

I thought I saw this one on Next, so you know it wasn’t original or entertaining. Of course, again, she had the dudes in speedos just to put them out there on that “open to anything” sexuality tip. Then they hit a spa where the dudes had to get waxed up. Oh yes and this clown volunteered to do his legs (ugh), arse (yuh!) and ahem balls (Aaaaargh!!!)…

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(And no this is not a filler pic. This is literally the screen cap of dude getting his stones sanded, yikes)

Yes, his family jewels got waxed and not in a good way.

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Terrible. Again, as I’m watching the show I’m wondering, has this thing finally ran out of gas? All this talk about people’s feelings and real relationships. Who wants to hear about that? At any rate, two of the chicks got into a chick fight, which apparently goes on into the next show.

Now one of these babes is damn fine (and when I say fine I’m talking about her crazy body). Her name is Vanessa and she’s already done some oil rubbing and pole straddling errr modeling for Maxim. Peep it.

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(Vanessa is in the middle)

The other one, Brandi, is one ham sandwhich and a catcher’s mitt away from becoming softball girl, which is something like Brock’s Sponge Bob Square ass, just all over.

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(Though I must admit it’s looking like she slathered some HGH across her chest piece b/c that upper body is lookin fit son!)

Basically those chicks look like flesh covered freezers. You know the kind you kept in the garage growing up? Just terrible. So one chick is tight and fine and the other one is big and brawny…

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You know what that means. Eyeeeee gotta feeeeeel-in that somebody who is hotter, sexier and smaller is about to catch a serious ass whoopin. Too bad I couldn’t catch any better pics of ole girl’s body, it’s official. Oh now wait a second, this just in.. Here is a video with Vanessa from some Maxim shoot. Check the babe out for yourselves.

Anyway, the fake virgin black chick and num nuts (meaning that idiot who waxed his balls) got sent off, basically for being wack. Hopefully next week’s show will pack more of a punch. We need some threesome action right away to save this show from itself. Shit, maybe the writers really are on strike.  Oh well, here is another NSFW pic of Tila to make us all feel better.

-Lake