Posts Tagged ‘Real’

I Love Money…But I Hate This Show

August 5, 2008

Flavor of Love was entertaining.  I Love New York was pretty good.  Rock of Love had a second season so someone watched it.  They took the wildest cats from all these shows and put them all together.  I thought it would be great, another trainwreck waiting to happen.  First of all, there is not enough of this:

More Hoopz please.  Take a cue from Real World/Road Rules Challenge an throw her in some spandex, drop her in some water or some baby oil and make her slide on a piece of glass or jump in a baby pool or something.  Meanwhile, she’s barely on the show.  That turned my excitement level from about 7…seben purnt faave to long ’bout 3.  Too much turrible Toastee and Pumkin.

Problem number two?  This guy.

Who is this guy and how did he get this job?  There hasn’t been a host this bad since Jonny Moseley.  This guy is useless.

Problem Three:  The Stallionaires aren’t the Stallionaires any more.

People refer to them like they are dominating the game, but they are useless.  Real is kinda a punk in competition, and Chance just taps out at every opportunity.  These guys should be the new age Chill Town.  You’ve got an alliance you can trust built right in.  They should be running this game.

Problem Four: We need more of this.

Correction, that was terrible.

I’m caught up now.  I need to at least speed Tivo through this thing just in case they take my advice on Hoopz.  I mean Big Brother someone managed to find the least attractive, least demonstrative women ever to agree to have their entire lives broadcast on live tv?  Aren’t these chicks supposed to be struggling actresses or half porn stars?  Can we get some half buck naked every once in a while?  At least a swimsuit, a tan?  Can we mix it in?  Thanks.

Until Survivor or RW/RR challenge comes back on, it’s all I’ve got.

Dammit.

-Brock

I Love Money: Hell Yeah

July 7, 2008

Seriously, this has potential to be the greatest show of all time.

That picture says it all.  It’s got my boy Chance and the always sexy Hoopz.  Plus all the other crazy chicks from Flavor of Love and the wildest cats from I Love New York.  Just for kicks, they added in the fake J’d out chicks from Rock of Love.

Fine, this is nothing but a copy of the Real World/Road Rules challenge, but there’s a kicker.  At least on the Real World, they try to find half respectable people.  Sure, they all have major personal and psychological problems, but at least they are partially legit.  These cats from Flavor of Love, I Love NY and Rock of Love don’t even have the semblance of legitimacy.  They are all straight clowns and fools.  Caricatures of real people, making no qualms about the fact that they are just out there trying to get famous.

How do you take that dude seriously?  Because he is a Stallionaire?  Why is he wearing slippers?

This cat Midget Mac was just asked how he would spend the money.  His response was “I’d probably give 200 to my momma…and my daddy.  Then the other fifty, I’d probably spend on strippers.  I’m just being real wit’chall.

We’ll Midget Mac wouldn’t have to go far to spend his money.  Half the chicks on this show have got to be in the business.  If they weren’t before, they are now.

You know Toasteee is down.  She looks like a real porn star.  You know.  Cute, but not actually cute.  Looks like she’s seen a few things.  Knows how to slide down a pole upside down, can do he splits and shake one ass cheek on command.  Actually, that was in her audition tape, they showed it about 5 times during the show.

Look, Hoopz seems to be the most legit chick on the show and even she breaks it down like this.

I’ll be watching.  This is more than just a trainwreck.  This is a pile of toy trains wrecking inside of a traincar about to be hit by a wrecking ball that is suspended between two bullet trains heading toward each other at 200 miles per hour.  That means I’ll be tuning in erry single week.

-Brock