Posts Tagged ‘racing’

IRL and Champ Car have merged!!!!

February 22, 2008

Or maybe they haven’t.. hey guess what, I don’t give a hot damn either way.

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Has there ever been a sport that is more useless than Indy Racing League or “Champ Car”… Listen, before people started bombarding me with news of this merger, I didn’t even know what Champ Car was. I mean, it already sounds like a boot leg, repackaged marketing play for children’s toys, in fact, if you told me that Hot Wheels and Stompers (those were hot toys) had merged, I literally would have been far more interested. At least those two products have a purpose. Look, I hate Nascar and all its derivatives. I hate everything about it. I’m tired of seeing Dale, Ricky, Jimmy, Bobby, Dale, Billy and Cade roll around a track turning left for 4 hours with little rhyme or reason. You can’t even tell who’s winning! How is that exciting?

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Seriously, this is the worst “sport” ever. Nothing pisses me off more than rolling into my favorite sports bar and seeing those damn cars going around in a circle on a tv that should have “that game” on. And by “the game” I mean one of the legitimate sports with real athletes competing at the highest level. Not some southern fried freaks in their HGH mobiles, sucking down victory milk and occasionally doing a backflip out of the car (incidentally, that flip this the most athletic and interesting thing those fools do all day).

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That just aint right.

I must say, the South has a long and storied history, both good and bad. My bad list reads like this:

1. Slavery

2. Jim Crow Laws

3. KKK

4. Nascar

5. 69 Boyz, Tag Team, 95 South and the rest of the Booty Shake genre

Good:

1. Sweat Tea

2. Duke Basketball

3. Delicious Soul Food

4. Outkast

5. Bodacious Booty

– Lake