Posts Tagged ‘R. Kelly is acquitted’

Must Be The Money: R. Kelly is Acquitted on All Counts of Child Pornography!!!

June 13, 2008

Holy shit. The Pied Piper is an elusive smooth mufucka! I guess banging out and pissing on a 13 year old is cool in Chi Town!

Dude, let me ask those jurors a question. If that wasn’t R. Kelly and it wasn’t that babe, then who the fuck was it on that tape? I mean, come on. Let’s go ahead and run that “I wanna Piss on You” in honor of R’s great victory!

You just know that right now R. is on his way back to that Log Cabin room to get some drink, sex, and piss on and then go directly into the studio to record that “Jesus Saved Me/Fuck All You Haterz, But I’ll Pray For You” single that should be out on Monday.

And isn’t that the best part of all these terrible jury verdicts? How the cat who just got over on the system then proclaim that Jesus “hisself” was responsible for the acquittal. Hey, aRa, I”m not the most religious cat in the world, but If there is one thing we do know, it’s that Jesus didn’t want you to bang out all kinds of young girls, hook up three ways, piss on a chick – ON CAMERA-, allegedly pay her off to keep quiet and then walk away whistling the tune to “Fiesta (Remix)” after a bunch of imbeciles let you off scott free.

Hey, Chicago, why stop there? I mean, you need to make R. out like the victim in all of this. You know, pull a Duke Lacrosse so R. can get paid like Reade, Colin and Dave Evans or something. Or better yet, erect a monument in honor of Mr. Kelly and all he’s done for the great city of Chigaco.

Unbelievable.

– Lake