Posts Tagged ‘prenuptial agreement’

Shaunie ‘$30 Mil’ O’Neal to the World: “Big Stacks, my pockets on Creatine”

November 23, 2007

The soon to be Mrs. O’Neal has plenty to be thankful for this year.

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Shaunie O’Neal’s purported assets were revealed as a result of a court filing on Wednesday. And what did little mama claim she had? After merely five years of marriage and seemingly 5-18 kids she says she’s got:

  • $450,000 in cash and stocks as assets.
  • The couple’s $25 million Star Island home in Miami Beach
  • An L.A. Condo
  • A $3.95 million home in Orlando An additional Condo in Miami
  • Several businesses valued at $250,000
  • Liberty Grill, a Los Angeles eatery valued at $250,000

For the rest of this post, just envision Kanye’s “Gold Digger” playing. Ahem, anyway, she’s supposed to have $30 million in total assets.

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I know big fella, I know. I guess there is a reason to allow a real life sasquatch to bang you out and endure the birth of pound infants for the better part of 7 years (they had a few before they got married). Forget the $30 mil, Shaunie deserves a Purple Heart for letting this dude murk.

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Scary.

Oh but she got hers and that’s before the divorce goes through. Now I read that Shaq had an airtight prenuptial agreement per Eddie Murphy and Kanye West’s advice.

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If that’s so, how in the hell could Shaunie claim that $25 million crib on Star Island as her own? That can’t be right. At best she gets half of that joint, which is still a good pay day for a baby maker who is allegedly getting her body “back in shape” by getting hammered by her Cuban trainer. How many pesos does $30 make? How many times did she use that other Miami condo, the one Shaq reportedly didn’t know about, to get her “Livin La Vida Loca” on with ole Telemundo?

Men, don’t let your women go out to dance that Salsa alone and if you’ve got Shaq stacks, just go ahead and put a private investigator on your wife at all times.

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I would say Shaq is getting screwed, but when you consider how Strahan took it up the arse, got his shit sold out in front of his mansion and then was accused of being gay by his wife, $30 million is getting off easy for the Big Aristotle…

– Lake

Firestone bags himself a babe

October 2, 2007

Andrew Firestone, the tire/wine kingpin and former star of the reality tv show, The Bachelor, is engaged…again. You may recall that Andrew was engaged to The Bachelor/The Bachelorette good girl, Jen Schefft back on Season 3 of the show.

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Well now with Beyonce’s smash hit “Upgrade” playing in his ears, ole Drew went ahead and bagged a chick with “Actress/Model” on her resume. Indeed, Andrew Firestone’s pops just announced that his son is engaged to Actress/Model Ivana Bozilovic.

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Hey, what can I say? I like it. I always thought of Andrew as the classic rich asshole, and I mean that in good way. There’s just something about that guy who can be such an uncompromising and unadulterated dick all the time, well, it..it reminds me of me. Remember, this is the dude who kissed and fondled every single worth while chick on the show. Then he had sex with all three chicks in the “Fantasy Suite,” only to ICE OUT one of the contestants that very next day at the Rose Ceremony. Of course she made reference to what they did in the bedroom and how she wouldn’t have “done those things” had she known he’d eliminate her. Hilarious!!!

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(what’s up pimpin?)

So I’m with it. Andrew is that cat. And his lady, she’s a gem. The second I googled her I saw her tits breast-ta-sis (sorry, but it’s true). See the NSFW also known as, you aren’t supposed to look at these, but I know you will joints right HERE. And HERE. AND HERE. I told you here joints are all over the net.

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Old school attractive white lady, which is cool enough. She’s got a good look and oh yes, she’s from Yugoslavia.. perfect. Andrew, you best have that prenuptial tight. I mean how many times have you heard of some Eastern Block hard body chick coming over to America trying to find Andrew Firestone to make it big?

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(Wow)

There’s an entire network, Lifetime, devoted to that story. But who am I kidding, a full on dizzick like Firestone is gonna have a tight prenup no matter who it is he’s marrying.

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(does this chick ever take a picture with her top on?)

 

Sheyut, that cat probably has “break up” contracts with his brothers and sisters even just in case they get rowdy with the family loot. Do your thing Drew, congrats!

– Lake