Posts Tagged ‘Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey don’t have a prenuptial ag’

That Nick should have never married Mari- STOP IT’S THE MUTHAF#CKIN REMIX!!!

May 6, 2008

Uhhhh!!!!! Yo, it’s amazing what 48 hours will do. Brock and I were sitting in my office on Friday talking about how crazy this Nack Cannon married to Mariah story was. That convo went pretty much like this: “I’ve never seen a bucked naked chick look more un-sexy than her”… “yeah, besides, she’s always naked and has never looked better but she’s still terrible. I think there’s just something wrong with the face”.

I mean, the quotes went on and on. The culmination of that convo was that post you saw yesterday. Well, sheeyut I guess Mariah and Nick must have been reading the blog because they responded in a MAJOR way with these hot bikini shots of Nick’s old ball and chain from d magazine.

Wow, now I definitely know what he issue was… babe was overweight. Now don’t get me wrong, she wasn’t fat, but for someone who spends the majority of her time in public half naked, she didn’t have a half naked body. She had to shed a clean 10 pounds and shed those lbs she did, look at these pictures.

Damn, I’m still not loving the babe, but I do have to give credit where it’s due. She looks pretty damn good right here.

That stomach is tight….

But that weird smile still aint right. Is it just me or does Mariah have the face of TI’s chick? You know that Tiny from Xcape?

Yep, she’s a dead ringer. Her nickname is Tiny and Mariah’s is Mimi..too much.

Anyway, back to Nick and Mariah. Not only did Mimi tighten up her body, but if you believe the reports, Mariah married Nick WITHOUT A PRE-NUPTIAL AGREEMENT.

Talk about that Make it Rain Remix…Damn, I can’t believe she went out like that. No prenup is like running in the streets and just hittin raw dog, you can’t do it at her level. And I aint saying Nick’s a golddigga, but he didn’t marry that broke sista (comparatively of course).

Now I know Mariah said that Nick will soon realize, at the tender age of 50, that his still bucked naked ass wife piece is pushing 50, flabulous and probably one tour away from getting that Aretha Thunder (and believe me, it makes you wonder, but not in a good way).

But the truth is, we all know Nack and Mariah are doomed from the start. Come on…It’s Mariah Carey. She’s nuts, obsessed with being young, plastic and sexy, but she’s 38. Nick is going to want to cash them checks errrr settle down with a woman capable of actually having a family. Come on now, on the real, Nick will probably wait for about 20 months or so to get outside the annulment period and then peace Mariah Carey-Cannon out as he gets his Nick “It’s her money” Lachey on. Damn, I need to move to LA, get my male bimbo/golddigger game tight.

-Lake

——–UPDATE——–

Mmmmmmyyyyyiiiiion’t know Lake. That looks like a photoshop special to me. Mariah ain’t rocking that perfectly concave hourglass like that. In fact that joint had to be shot in front of a greenscreen with the perfect beach horizon. Look, she’s either worked on, or had someone else work on that midsection and clearly is better than she’s ever been before, but there is some junior graphic designer buried in the basement of Vibe magazine HQ that will be getting a Mercedes for Christmas straight from Mimi herself as payment for making her look so good.

-Brock