Posts Tagged ‘negative ass’

And you thought it couldn’t get any worse….

January 10, 2008

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I’m not a big Wino guy. I don’t really listen to her music aside from the obligatory “Rehab” bridge each and every Club DJ felt they had to hit me with back in 2007, but when I saw this I just had to post it. She gets a few points for going retro Johnny Depp, but let’s face it, this chick is just terrible. Yes she is talented and yes she has done wonders for my strange interest in the Bolivian Marching Powder, but otherwise, what has she contributed to popular culture?

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And in case you were wondering, that’s the ole “Not Kardashian” negative arse piece. “Ass so flat you can see it from the front!”

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I must admit, Mos Def got that one (reversed of course) as right as this chick is wrong on Ms. Fat Booty.

– Lake

It’s still a problem: Negative Arse Part 2

November 14, 2007

I took a lot of shit for my hard-hitting negative ass exposé from back in the day. Still, I pushed on because I really believe that it was and still is an important issue that has been largely ignored by the mainstream media.

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(Negative arse syndrome, has it hurt you or someone you love(d)?)

Still, some of these babes I run with, they just weren’t feeling it.

“But Lake” they said. “It’s bad enough that society sexually objectifies the female body as if women are objects to be evaluated, critiqued and even treated like currency. Your observations of the female form only complicates the issue as you further perpetuate these prevailing sociocultural attitudes themselves!!!!” My response: AS THEY SHOULD BE!!! My people have suffered far too long with these no ass having chicks.

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Bone on bone crime is as serious as any other crime and it should be treated as such! What these chicks should be doing is working with conscientious people like myself to eradicate skeletal butt…for the children. Take Demi Moore for instance. She’s generally regarded as an very attractive, albeit, older woman.

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Now see, it’s all good until she turns around and then:

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Boom, no ass at home!

I know, I know, some dudes don’t need ass. I’ve heard it all before. My boy told me… He doesn’t work with the ass so the negative ass doesn’t bother him. Nonsense. If you don’t work with the ass, there’s probably something wrong with it…but more importantly, you’ve got something wrong with yourself. THIS is what you’re missing:

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(My favorite part of this pic is the hat…Tasena, hip hop model if you need her)

Now that’s a tailpiece. This too..

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(Best part of this pic is the intense look in her eyes and that ring on her right pinky finger)

Dats azz.. Ok, just one more…

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(My word!)

It’s like Kanye said, “Dog, are yall fuckin kidding?” Forget “shoulders, chest, pants, shoes.” The new mantra needs to be “squat, thrust, lunge, cool…” Do all these thangs and you too can have and enjoy…DAT AZZ. Peace.

– Lake n Bake