Posts Tagged ‘Nathaniel Golden’

Are you ready for some American Idol?

January 15, 2008

I know I am. And for all you true fans of the show, I know you’re amped that the season starts tonight:

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errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I meant:

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Hey, I know the show is a little bit cat and the concept is completely played, but American Idol is my Reality TV crack and I’m ready to smoke it up most righteously in front of all you mufuckas this season!!!

Honestly, what’s not to love about American Idol? It’s reality tv at it’s finest. You get it all. Horrible cats who can’t sing, but truly believe they can like Mary Roach aka Mary Gilbeaux:

Then you have the ass clown who can’t sing at all, knows it, but just plays the game properly, gets on tv and milks the entire system for their loot cakes. Oh yes, young William Hung was laughing all the way to the bank on this one:

Hard to hate on this cat. I mean, he did have a record deal and he did get paid. Better than we can say for this clown.

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Anyway, what I really love about American Idol is how they shamelessly play off stereotypes. I mean, look, the anti gay defamation league, if such an organization exists, should be all over this show. I’m not sure why, but every gay cat in every city without a shred of common sense or dignity seems to feel obligated to come on that show and act like a complete nut. My favorite example of that, of course, is my boy (not really) Nathaniel Golden of “Listen Nate, it was just terrible dude” fame. Peep his act.

How hilarious is it that this cat choose to sing “My Girl” for his song and further, that it was so fucking horrible? Perfect.

Come on now, this show is just great. Simon is great for obvious reasons, Randy is surprisingly ill and Paula is nutty as a Christmas fruit cake. Anyway, there’s just too much to talk about here. All I know is that I’ll be looking for that next American Idol internet scandal to pop off right around week 4.

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Errrrrrrr

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Hey, it’s all the same. And yes, I still think those leaked pictures of that chick were in fact Antonella Barbara hooking up that microphone checka….hey, you decide, Not Safe For Work but found HERE. OUT.

– Lake

————UPDATE———–

Damn, I forgot how bad that Antonella Barba was.   Yeah, we need more of that.  Don’t forget my favorite American Idol mugshot…Corey “Sideshow Bob” Clark.

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-Brock

The best Bachelor ever: Brad Womack is ICY…

November 21, 2007

Aside from the fact that he’s got a brother named Chad (I never did understand that corny rhyming named twins thing) this cat Brad Womack, the Bachelor, has to go up there as one of the best reality stars ever.

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For real dough, you just gotta etch his name in that Reality TV Stanley Cup right behind Flavor Flav, Dr. Will Kirby/Mike Boogie, William Hung, Chance, Nathaniel Golden, and Hoopz (of course)…in fact, let’s go ahead and run a picture of Hoopz..

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More Hoopz is always good for this and any other site. And yes, I will hit you with that reverse angle.

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(with no airbrush in sight or site. What, she’s got a g-string on)

Ahem, back to where I was. This cat Brad is an awesome dude. I mean, he reminds me of an older and less pimperish version of myself because homey has dry ice running through those veins. Listen, I’ve always loved the Bachelor. It’s just a good concept. One dude gets to romp with 25 women, then see about half of them in bikinis, only to kiss about 8 or so of them. Ok, so that’s cool and I always enjoyed those kind of odds in my younger years. But the greatest innovation by far has to be those “Fantasy Suite” dates where the Bachelor basically leverages sex for a rose. I mean, really making those chicas put their money maker and their mouths were that dude is.

Classic. What’s so great about it is that each one of them really go into that suite as if ole boy isn’t doing the exact same thing with 2 other chicks. I know, I know, he — no, they just have to connect on a “higher level” do figure out if it’s true love. I’m quite sure “true love” is something like what Andre 3000 described in his song A Life in the Day of Benjamin Undre:

15 love, fit like glove
description was like
15 doves in a jacuzzi catching the holy ghost
making one woozy in the head and comatose

So he hits all three chicks of course and then eliminates one. This year that decision was easy. The one chick was ridiculous and her family was even worse. She just had to go. Hit her and quit her was actually quite fitting for her punk ass.

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But this cat, he hits the other two and then goes to that final rose ceremony, ring in hand, after they both tell him they love him and disses BOTH finalists.

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I like how he set it up too. Insert country drawl which was half Dubyah Bush half Forrest Gump, “I jus- said goodbye to Jen-nee“. Then ole girl smiles (not too fast now). And then he just acts like he needs a shot of Dasani, followed by that “excuse me” where he jumps off the throne. Oh man..

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“Eye jus caint tell you that I’m in luv wit you..and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to dew”. Sure it is. Yes, ole boy ices out both chicks, a Bachelor first!!! Oh man, now if ABC will only have the vision to go with The Bachelor, this is the Remix Part Deux, Brad does it again. I know I’d be watching. And how ballsy was it for him to come with that “you know, I wouldn’t change a thing and I have no regrets” with regard to how things turned out. He knew that he iced all 25 babes out, he just didn’t care. Love it. Thanks Brad.

– Lake Womack

===========Update=============

Wow, so they have this After the Final Rose show. Boy, Brad is on the spot. Dude actually caught some boos when he came out. Ugly. Then the show’s host, Chris, reveals that he asked the show to send DeAnna’s dad out there because he was going to propose to her. So homey asks him, “why did you do that?”, answer, “Obviously I have some problems”….lol Homey, you aint got no problems. You’ve got all the right answers and all the right moves. And by the way, Jenni, the Phoenix Suns dancer is a solid thick white woman. Did I ever say that? Let’s see what the interns have for us in the way of evidence of thickness.

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Hmmm, not really good enough, but I’ll take it. Again, this show should be run by UvT entertainment, then all the angles, hell, all their measurements and vital statistics would be up on screen at all times like the NFL combine or something.

Boy, this cat is just the best. He reapplied that ice to DeAnna on the wrap up show. “I’m confident in my decision from that day..” Let me translate that for you baby.. “Hit the bricks baby, I got bars to run and chicks to get at…this is what I do.”

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Respek.