Posts Tagged ‘Mike Vick’

Broke as a Joke: Vick Files for Bankruptcy

July 8, 2008

Damn, Mike Vick just filed for bankruptcy today.  Aint that a bitch.  Now that he’s in jail, tucked away tight for giving his boys a dog fighting business, don’t you feel safe?

jeez.  Look, I’m a dog lover.  I’ve got a dog.  I don’t want my dog to be abused, but dude, this cat didn’t deserve to have his life taken away, along with his freedom and all his damn money behind some dogs.  I know, I know, it’s a law and order society.  Then why isn’t the Worst President Ever in jail?

Terrible.  Mike, get up Mike.

Someone hand this cat a helmet.

– Lake

—————UPDATE—————

Now see, this just makes Vick reporting to jail early even worse.  Didn’t he know he needed to line someone up to open his mail and pay his bills?  What is Marcus doing these days?  Actually, he probably just found out it is time for him to move.  This is a damn shame, where’s the entourage?  I’m sure his boys were lined up to be “Driver”, “Weed…errrrrrr…water bottle holder”, and “Wingman” aka “second chair hoe gatherer”, but no one wanted to sign up as “bill payer” aka “make sure my shit is still here when I get back-er”.  That’s fucked up.

Damn I miss my dogs.

-Brock

Quick Question. When Do You Convert To The Business Fro?

May 23, 2008

Seriously, I don’t know. I’m a low even steven cat myself. I’ve rocked the temple taper, and the ain’t no barbers round these parts I trust and too young to know I look ridiculous afro, but haven’t had the desire to bring it back. What I want to know is, when do you make the conversion to the black man business afro?

If I currently walk in the to barber shop and say “Let me get that one guard all the way around”, when do I go in and say, “you know what, go ahead and give me that #1”. Then I’ll end up looking like this.

See that the the black businessman everyone knows. You don’t think this is a serious phenomenon? You know your boy Brock comes with the evidence. Like this:

Mike Vick was keeping it real…suddenly:

When it is time to get serious, here comes the business fro. Still trying to keep it real with the waves though. Okay fine, those were extenuating circumstances. How about this. Here’s Avery Johnson the player.

smoothed out fade. Then you get Avery Johnson the coach.

Business fro all day long.

I don’t want to cross it over too late, but it is worse to cross it over too early. I saw a cat yesterday..about 23 with the business fro. It was terrible. Just watch, I guarantee Barack Obama will be rocking a cut about twice as long by the end of his second term.

-Brock

Arthur Blank is an Asshole

December 13, 2007

Check this interview with Arthur Blank, owner of the Falcons last night when asked to talk about Michael Vick’s opportunity to come back to the Falcons.

Did he say the only thing that could hold him back was Fried Chicken and Fries? Damn, tell us what you really think. I guess watermelon is cool since it is fruit, huh? Should he stay away from government cheese and rap music too?

racism.jpg

In his half baked apology, some PR hack said that Blank was referring to all fatty, unhealthy foods, using Fried Chicken as an example. Yeah, thanks Fuzzy Zoeller. Look, here are some words you should never use when discussing Black people. Fried Chicken. Watermelon. Monkey or simian of any type. Boy. Nappy Headed Hoes. Afro AmericanNi**er.

While we are on the subject, the Falcons are a damn debacle at this point.

arkansas-petrino.jpg

How does a NFL coach just tap with two games left in the season after getting drug on national TV by a mediocre New Orleans Saints team? It can’t wait two weeks? Arkansas isn’t going to pull down a five star quarterback about to sign with USC because Bobby Petrino is the new coach.

It will be 2011 before the Falcons are scheduled to play on Monday night again. Dammit!

-Brock

Mike Vick Turns Himself In

November 20, 2007

Michael Vick turned himself in today to start his jail term ahead of his sentencing date of December 10th. I guess he finally figured out that actually doing something responsible may actually cause the judge and the public to avoid throwing the entire book at the dude. I just don’t know about turning myself in early. Go read to some kids, volunteer at an old folks home, plant some flowers. You don’t want to just turn yourself in to Adebisi and Schillinger before you have to.

vick-dog.jpg

There are going to be more than dogs trying to get his ass in jail.

Is Vick going to roll with the Black Muslims or the Mexican Gangsters? Does a big ol’ swole cat try to roll up on him for his biscuit in the mess hall?

phone-check-fool.jpg

Phone Check Fool!

Does he get put in a cell with Maurice Clarett? Is he going to get fat like Shawn Kemp Maurice Clarett?

What if he pulls a Lindsay Lohan and is only sentenced for 84 minutes? Then he’d be in jail for no reason. Let me tell you something. If I’m on my way to jail, you’re gonna have to come get me. I’ll be fighting harder that the Don’t Tase Me Bro kid.

On the real, I hope Mike pulls through it in good shape and makes it back into the league. He should get one more shot.

-Brock