Posts Tagged ‘Michael Phelps Gold Medal’

Michael Phelps is great, but he aint the best ever

August 18, 2008

Michael Phelps has definitely earned all the accolades he’s received.  Sure, you can say he’s the best swimmer of all time and I’ll even hear arguments that he’s the best Olympian, but the best athlete?  Hells no.  Look, if I’m not mistaken, Phelps is from Baltimore, which means dude probably isn’t even the best athlete in his own area code.  First off, I will admit, homey is sittin on more gold than Chad Johnson’s dentist.

And he certainly eats like the best ever.  But let’s not trick ourselves.  The reason why Phelps has gold medals in his pockets like so many nickles and dimes is because 1.  they have so many swimming events to begin with and 2. a very small sample size of the world’s athletes actually get a chance to compete in organized swimming to begin with.

It’s not quite the same as in track and field where you just know there aren’t that many cats who can step into the blocks and run a sub 10 second 100 meters.  No, when those dudes step up, we KNOW they’re the world’s best because everybody has been racing since they were 6 years old on a playground.

So when Jesse Owens or Carl Lewis win 4 gold medals in a single games, that’s real.  When Phelps does it, if you’re like me, you just sit back and wonder what these events would be like if Deion Sanders, Randy Moss, Michael Vick or Allen Iverson knew how to swim.

I mean, come on, does ANYBODY actually think that Phelps is a better athlete than A-Rod, Jordan or Kobe?  Come on now.  If you gave Randy Moss 24 months, a West Virginia inspired above ground pool (keep it classy), some more weave (sad) and a Bally’s Total Health & Fitness membership, he’d turn half of Phelps gold medals into Bronze.   Best ever?  Right.  And next you’ll be saying Lance Armstrong is the best ever.  Oh, I forgot, fools ALREADY say that.  AHNT.  Pleaz.

By the way, is it just me or is something not quite right with my man’s mouth piece?  Anyway, Phelps is good, but compared to Jesse Owens, Jim Thorpe, and hell, I don’t know, Vince Young, Phelps aint shit.

I said it!  So until they start having the following list of Basketball derivative Olympic events:

1.  Olympic 5 on 5 Men’s Basketball

2.  Olympic Street Basketball

3.  Olympic Horse

4.  Olympic Freestyle Slam Dunk Medley

5.  Olympic 1 on 1 Come Git Some Especial-lay

6.  Olympic Two Handed Dribbling

7.  Olympic Three- Point Shooting

8.  Olympic 3 v 3 Ass-tappitties Floor Exercise, and

9.  Olymypic Synchronized, ball in hand jumping

I don’t want to hear about how Miguelito Phelps is a better athlete than LeBronze James.

– Lake

Michael Phelps is one Hungry MF’er

August 15, 2008

MIchael Phelps is dominating in Beijing, and is now one of the most dominant Olympic athletes ever.  That would be great if anyone still cared about the Olympics.

I won’t lie, they guy is entertaining to watch.  It is fun to see someone dominate every single event he’s in.  Can you really be the best at everything?  This is like someone on the track winning the 100, the hurdles, the 200, the 400, and the long jump.  Carl Lewis came close, but not quite.

So Phelps just let people know what he eats in a single day in order to keep enough fuel in his body through all these races.  Here’s the list of what he throws down to hit his target 12,000 calories a day.


  • three fried-egg sandwiches, with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions and mayonnaise.
  • two cups of coffee and a five egg omelet
  • a bowl of grits
  • three slices of French toast with powdered sugar on top
  • three chocolate chip pancakes.


  • entire box of pasta
  • two large ham and cheese sandwiches on white bread with lots of mayo.
  • 1,000 calories of protein shake


  • another entire box of pasta
  • entire pizza
  • another protein shake

How do you even sit down to eat all that?  He told NBC that all he does is eat, swim and sleep.  After looking at that list, there must be a lot of deuce dropping involved as well.  You just can’t burn off that much pure volume.

He better watch out for all of that mayonaise though.  Otherwise he might have a different profile once he retires from swimming.