Posts Tagged ‘Man Up Monday’

Man Up Monday: Brad Daughetry

April 21, 2008

Now that the NBA Playoffs are on, I’m watching even more ESPN than normal. (Is that possible?) So all the networks have their A-Team rolled out for coverage. I’m watching Sportscenter and see this man on screen.

That’s right, Brad Daughterty. The Number 1 draft pick in 1986 to the Cleveland Cavs. Five time all-star. Career 19 and 9 guy. Solid, solid player. So I’m expecting some in depth analysis of the big men in the hunt for the championship, but nooooooo, all of a sudden we’re talking about the Road Track at Talladega or wherever the hell NASCAR was racing this weekend. NASCAR? Seven foot tall Brad Daugherty is the NASCAR correspondent?

How did this go down?

Hey Brad, you want to work for ESPN?

Yeah? Great. Ummmmmm, we need you to cover NASCAR.

I feel you Brad. That is why you should have manned on up and said. F That! I’m not doing it. So here’s what I want you to do. Head to Bristol, Connecticut. Go find whoever gave you this crazy ass assignment. raised your right hand up as high as you can (it should be right around 9 feet in the air) and slap the shit out of that dude Then report directly to the Cavs-Wizards game tonight at 7.

MAN UP!

-Brock

Man Up Monday

March 31, 2008

On the last day of March we have a very special March Madness edition of Man Up Monday. I’ve got to send a big Man Up to all of the cats who didn’t have the balls to pick all four number one seeds to make the Final Four.

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Your boy Brock has all four seeds left in the Final Four.  I know, I know all you punks think taking all four Number 1 seeds is actually the b*tch move.  Well how about this, you can talk all the junk you want until I’m right.  Don’t double think yourself here, think about it.  Anyone who makes their choices based on the individual games and sees that they end up with four #1 seeds usually goes back and makes some changes.  I pushed on through and rode that baby to the top of my pool.

Lake was actually at the top of the UvT office rankings until I blazed him up today.  The big money is to win the whole pool, but I won this by picking the Final Four.

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Oh yeah, been pimpin’ since pimpn’ been pimpin.

Second place goes to Steph Curry and whoever that cat was who ended up taking that last shot in the Davidson-Kansas game.

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By the way, did anyone else see Stephen Curry’s moms?  Damn Dell Curry, way to get all the mileage out of that mediocre career.

-Brock

Man Up Monday: NCAA Basketball Coach Edition

March 17, 2008

In honor of the NCAA Tournament, this weeks Man-Up Monday is a tribute to the coaches who really went out like some punks this weekend. First, let’s talk about Dennis Felton of Georgia.

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So here’s the situation. The SEC tournament was delayed because of tornadoes in downtown Atlanta. So what was the solution? They scheduled the games in the Georgia Tech stadium and didn’t invite anyone to actually come to the games. But Georgia had to play two games in one day. So after they win game one, in between games they go to the post game interview with Dennis Felton and he basically gives up on his team saying that having two games in one day is going to keep him out of the tournament. He straight GAVE UP ON HIS SQUAD. Thanks coach. Not only that, but his job was on the line. Felton was supposed to get fired if he didn’t make the tournament. That means he gave up on himself too. Here’s the kicker…his team WON the second game of the day, and last night wrapped up the SEC Championship.. Once again, thanks for believing in us coach.  On a side note, why is he rocking that old school Billy Dee Williams, Lando Calrissian style mustache?  Man Up!

Man Up part 2:

Check this call by the Kentucky coach:

He was down by three and didn’t want Georgia to go for the intentional miss, so he had his player goaltend the shot. Wellllll, the rule is that the shot counts anyway, putting his team down by four and his guy got the tech. It isn’t in this clip, but the look on that players face when he realized that his coach just gave away the game was priceless. Coach, Man Up, Box Out and take the shot to win the game like a man. You tried to break the rules of the game. Not going to happen that way buddy.

Bonus Man Up:

Goes to Clark Kellogg for picking all four number one seeds as his Final Four.

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UCLA, UNC, Memphis, and Kansas? Way to go out on a limb, buddy. That is really some crack analysis you broke out there. Grow a pair Clark. Also, if you are going to rock the “forced baldy” (where you have the bald head not because you wanted to shave it, but because your hair was retreating already) you’ve got to keep your shape up tight. You can’t rock the George Jefferson pattern stubble.

Thanks…and Fellas….MAN UP!

-Brock

And Now For Something New…Man Up Monday

March 10, 2008

It feels so good when inspiration strikes. When you sit straight up in the middle of the night, mind racing because you have an idea, something that can help people, something that can change the world…

Here at Us Versus Them, we are ready to give back. We are ready to use our power to touch people, to improve this great nation and the world. How will we do it? Man Up Monday. Our first project?

Mario.

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Well damn…where do I start? The silky shirt? The high pants? Those slippery looking shoes? The fact that it looks like his head was photoshopped on to his neck? All that glitter, or magma, or sparkles or whatever the hell that is in the background?

Let’s start here. You can’t go by one name when your name is so damn common. You have to have something unique like Madonna, like Beyonce, even Usher. When I say “Mario”, I’m thinking there is about a 0% chance that the first person you think of is this dude. If you like to eat you probably think of this guy, or if like gay comedians, this guy. The other 90% of the world thinks of this guy:

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Anyway, black, skinny Mario is on dancing with the stars. As long as he doesn’t start highstepping and sliding like Jerry Rice he may leave this experience with some part of his pride intact. Look, I can’t hate too hard, check out his lady.

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Cute, huh? Well, Brock knows her from back in the day. Back when she was just a young model trying to make it, butt naked riding bikes. Here’s a tame version, I’m sure you can find worse (better?).

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Anyway, unlike last season, when Mel B brought me out of the woodwork to at least get a feel for the show, I will not be catching a single solitary second of Dancing With the Stars this year.

Mario…Man Up!

-Brock

====================Update=========================

Uh, Brock. Now, I won’t come out here and disagree with you directly, but I would be remiss if I didn’t say that when a man is hitting this:

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(This babe is alike a doper Alicia Keyes.. yikes)

You can call him Cleetus for all I care… I mean, hot dammit, that’s his lady? Shit, maybe this “going hard thing” hasn’t been working for me. I’m a star, loyal reader KIR in NV told me so. Maybe I need to be on dancing with the stars, get me some Ricca love.

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WOW. Man up player? Seems to me he’s got that thing sufficiently covered where it matters, don’t ya think? Damn a man up, if I don’t stop looking at this babe you’re gonna have to come into my office with some smelling salts because it’s about be “Man Down Monday”… That little tan dress up top wasn’t telling the whole truth. Keepin it real..

– Lake