Posts Tagged ‘Making the Band 4 season 2’

MTB4, Season 2, Episodes 5: Aubrey gets pimped

March 5, 2008

Ok, so I know all our loyal readers were pissed at me last week when I failed to deliver the goods on that Episode 5 of Making the Band 4, Season 2. Hey, what can I say, I should have come through and didn’t. Even perfection takes a day off from time to time. Anyway, though I should be writing a book about lasts week’s show because it was that good, I’ll just give it minor love and keep the thang moving with Episode 6 dropping in about 8 hours or so.

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Clearly last week’s show was all about that damn Den Mother nonsense. It was pretty funny how Puff hit him with those critical questions:

“Do you know Danity Kane?”

“Does your gaydar tell you Q is gay or is not gay?”

“Hmm, well you know who I am though, right?”….. LOL. The only thing that would have made it better would be if he hit him with that “Of course, you starred in Ray, you’re Will Smith.”

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But he didn’t. What can you do? I liked what Big Mike showed me in reaction to that whole thing.

“This guy is A MAN, and he wants to be called Den Mother…I don’t git dat..ut uh.”

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See, that was believable. Now the other cats talking all loud about how “he has to go” and showing out in the van ride that one time, I ooown know. To be honest, they kind of pushed me the other way on it. It’s always that semi suspect cat who is talking the most shit about an innocuous gay cat who just happens to be in his presence.

I can’t lie though, that pool trick they pulled was pretty much what the Dr. ordered.

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Mike played it masterfully, it’s just too bad homey was in a shallow pool… I wanted to see him ass submerged and flailing like the cat he is…but what can you do?

Meanwhile, we got that little flashback from the ladies and their “Den Mother” incident… Now I watched Making the Band 3 and I don’t remember that Her-cu-les level clown causing a ruckus, banging out pots and pans and such. What I did make note of, however, was how hot Aubrey looked in those flashback pictures..

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Yes, I know that’s airbrushed, but this one aint:

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Dammit, now that’s what I’m talking about. I loved that young, fresh Aubrey… Many cocaine bumps and far too many weaves later, I feel like I don’t even know this Aubrey.

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Baby girl, take those ridiculous headbands off, cut out that weave (you don’t need it), get some easy breezy cover girl natural looking face paint and get off them carbs!

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You were looking less than tight during that run. I mean, what’s Aubrey without the smooth stomach? That’s her trademark. Just because you’ve got the Roger Clemens enhanced rack that doesn’t mean you need to go with the Rocket inspired enhanced stomach to boot. Appearance matters in your business, tighten it up.

Then of course, we had this week in “What the fuck is Aubrey talking about?”

This time it was her crazy rhetoric about how the songs they got weren’t right. I did love how that cat was hitting her with that low music industry level rhetoric as he reclined on that wild pool chair and basically gave her no burn.

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Please note the bullshit sunglasses rocked at night. Ha. I really appreciate a solid dick move and this guy has it down. I liked that “do you know how many artists have made this mistake?” rhetoric he came with later. “You went platinum, you can’t complain about nothing”…..sure. They did go plat, but where’s the guap my man? On your wrist because it sure as hell aint going to Aubrey’s weave fund.

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Dammit can that wig piece get any more ridiculous looking? Anybody ever wonder what happens to the women who actually grow these weaves out? Anyway…

Then Aubrey came with the classic, “I feel like this is a pimp and hoe relationship, I’m the hoe and I feel like I just got pimped.” Well, that will tend to happen when you project this:

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I know, I know, this is empowering. It’s not about men, it was for YOU… your sexuality and embracing who you really are on the inside…uh huh.. If I call Playboy up will you move the hands?

Dude, the best thing about her “I’m a hoe” epiphany is that Aubrey unlocked the basic premise for all these fledgling groups. Puff is a pimp and no question, all yall cats are his hoes. You think you’re getting over when he puts you up in that Miami mansion, gets that studio time and flies in all those producers, only he’s not paying for that shit ultimately, YOU ARE….HOE. I’m just glad yall finally got around to figuring that shit out. I mean when the cat rolls up to you and says, “let’s get this money,” he’s talking about YOU getting HIS money, not him putting you in a position to make your own. Don’t believe me, go ask the Lox, Mary J., 112 and Ma$e…

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– Lake

MTB4: Do you have ‘bitchassness’ in you?

February 5, 2008

WOW, again Diddy delivers a solid episode replete with highs and lows on the music tip and staged eerrrr real life human drama between the different Bands. Oh and he coined a new term: Bitchassness, but we’ll get to that later.

Incidentally, can we get a name for the guy’s band? I’m tired of saying Willie ‘n Dem. Oh hell, someone just hit me up saying the name of the group is “Day26.” Umm, I don’t get or like it, but whatever.

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Now before we get into the episode, we’ll have a part of this post I’ll call, What the fuck is Aubrey talking about?

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Last week it was that ridiculous talk about “do you understand who you’re riding with, this is Danity Fucking Kane” and “I got out with my friends and they take pictures of my boobs”… Come on player. Anyway, this week in “what the fuck is Aubrey talking about” is in regard to her assessment of Robert:

“Like, I think he’s so talented and all but his ego is like his problem. I saw that he was out of control and like, he just doesn’t know who he is yet.”

Now, of course, everything she said was true, but we don’t need that from her. Again, baby, you’re not hot. You’re an entertainment geriatric at 25 years of age with plastic lips and large balloons stapled to your chest piece.

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You shouldn’t be talking about ANYBODY. Though she does not look bad there. Ha.. I can’t lie.

Anyway, I found the rest of the show to be pretty entertaining:

1. Puff calls out Robert’s Bitchassness:

Look anybody who has watched the show for a while understands that Robert is crazy talented. I’d say that homey has the best voice even. But best voice doesn’t necessarily mean you get all the shine or that all the songs will be right for you to take the lead. Homey just needs to play his position and be cool. Now, we know MTV can hit you with the ill editing to make it look like you’re fucking up in the booth while talking hella shit, but that’s exactly what we saw.

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Robert failing to come through, then turning around and talking like a disgruntled woman. I don’t want to hear that shit. Just be cool, sing the songs, fall back when necessary and start actually coming through with the goods in the booth.

But that’s not what homey was doing and eventually, the fellow band mates essentially caused a mutiny. What was hilarious about it was that the cat who acted like he didn’t want to say anything, Brian, is the exact cat who went ahead and dimed Robert out to Puff. I mean, they just did Robert wrong. Showed him no respect at all:

Diddy: Why do yall sound so bad? Is there a problem within the group?

Brian: Yeah, I’ve got a problem with Robert, we all do.

Robert: Why didn’t yall come to me with this?

Willie: Every time I deal with you dog, you be on some real ego trip shit.

Robert: Dog, my feelings are just hurt (mistake).

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Puff: Robert, you not the leader of the fucking group

Rob: Blink blink, sob sob

Puff: You aint the lead singer of the fuckin group!

Dude, that was ill. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse for Robert or any more embarrassing, then Puff got the rock, pushed the muthafucka out on the break and dunked on Robert before he could establish position.

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Dude, it was ill:

Diddy: There’s a very contagious disease that’s in our community of Bitchassness.

Robert: (still reeling and downright speechless at the disloyalty from the fellas)

Diddy: Do you have some bitchassness in you?

Robert: (No response, but this picture gave all the response that was necessary)

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Puff: No real talk. DO YOU?! (and he really squared him up on that uncle who is allowed to lay hands on you level)

Rob: Nah

Diddy: Because I saw some bitchassness in you by the way you handled shit with your girl. (Argh, that shit reminded me of that “don’t be pussy whipped, whip that pussy, bang, bang, bang” speech Dude’s Pops gave Eddie Murphy in Boomerang..et tu Puff-ay?)

Diddy: There will be no bitchassness at Bad Boy!

Then Diddy walked out as he was literally laughing and so was I.

Lordy.. I mean, where do I begin. Oh yeah, isn’t this the same shit I said back in the day with regard to his girl June? I mean, for real. This cat just let ole girl speak any ole way to him while homey was stepping out of the group and just generally acting bitchy. I told homey then to lose that chick as she was nothing but trouble. Then I went into Lakey PI mode and unearthed some pictures of her to try and understand why in the hizzell he’d ever let a chick punk him like that on national tv.

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Uh huh…

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Ok, I see it a lil bit. Baby girl is ok, especially for a middle tier ’round the way girl, but he had to know that her rhetoric was punishable by death as far as that relationship goes. I mean, you’re about to be a star and you’re letting ole girl pop off like dat?

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Hells no. Diddy saw it, Lakey saw it…hell, you know the bandmates saw it. It’s like ole boy told Eddie Kane, Jr. when Baby Doll rushed in on them, “Eddie, you aint got your woman in check?” Rob, the cat is out of the bag and unfortunately, the cat is YOU. Get your mind right homey and “make that change.”

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Seriously, go watch “The Mack” or check out how Ike Turner used to run things. Something, anything, but you gonna have to do better, son.

And that little run-in you had with “D. Woods” (Why?) wasn’t much better, either.

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I mean, damn kid. If you and June weren’t together anymore and the myspace wasn’t a big deal, don’t get mad, just play it cool. Instead you tried to lash out and really live up to those “you’re just a drama king” words that June hit you with during season one. Anyway, you went from possibly getting with D. Woods to her throwing you the now outlawed NFL slasher sign also known as the international symbol for “loser, say no more.”

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Damn, ugly. Don’t argue with them, just placate, pimpulate like John Brown from the White Rapper Show and make em wait like my man Richie McDay says in the BK, alright?

2. Qwanell continues to earn masculinity points

Hey, I must say, Q showed me some more progress tonight and I’m happy to report it. I don’t know, there’s just something new about this cat.

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I guess what we’re really seeing is a young cat who is finally growing up. Dude just has a different swagger all together. I’m not sure if it was staged or not, but homey was laying his game down quite flat with Dawn. I mean, homey had her on the ropes. I especially liked how he told her that “women love my look” and “yes, I’d say I’m a ladies man.” Then he promptly followed that up with an appropriate compliment for Dawn. Very nice.

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I guess those lessons at the Lake School of Pimpology up there in Rochester paid off, huh? Anyway, he’s not out of the “might be gay woods yet,” for that he’d have to knock off Dawn, leave her and then re-up with a badder chick, but it’s a step in the right direction. Q, I’m definitely feeling you right now (no homo). Keep at it, son.

3. The Church foolishness at the end

After all kinds of wildness throughout the episode, the Bands needed to go to Church to wash those sins away. Aubrey had her hand in the air like she was a 43 year old black woman from Macon, GA givin’ praise, only she had her “earthly flesh” dutifully exposed and a sarcastic grin upon her enhanced grill piece. Donnie played the roll of the white dude who had never been to a holy rollin’ black Church. Standard rhetoric from him, “It just had so much energy and it was good to be a part of ‘that’.” Let me translate that for you guys, “What the fuck was that?” Come on now, you know Donnie is Catholic and you know he has never seen anything like that, least of all that damn funky chicken dance Q did when he “caught the spirit.” Yeah, that dance was like if you took the Alpha train and the A-Town Stomp smashed them together in a most unholy union and then just pushed double fast forward on your dvr. It was wild.

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Let me ask yall spirit catchers a question, why is it that the spirit gets caught in some churches and not others? What about speaking in tongues? Why is that only limited to a few spots? I can’t figure it out. I know, I know, I just need to come to know Him like Q, Robert, Aubrey and Big Mike. One day.

– Lake

Making the Band 4, Season 2 Premiere

January 29, 2008

UPDATE:  Check out the Premiere of Season 3, The Tour, of Making the Band 4 HERE

UPDATE: Check out how Diddy hit Robert with that “Bitchassness” label in episode 2 HERE.

So like any true MTB4 fan, I went ahead and tuned into that Making the Band 4, Season two premiere last night.

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And even though it sounds cliche at this point, I gotta just say it, Diddy has done it again. I know some of you have tried to get on young Lake for giving Diddy too much credit, but really who else deserves the credit, Aubrey? Medium Mike? Nah, you’ve gotta have that slack jawed, part time curl, always sun glass covered, “got something for your face f*ck Pro-active” exterior in order to do this thing and the boy is an entertainment genius.

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One thing that did surprise me was how basic Diddy looked in that first scene. I mean, did this cat just come in from a morning jog or something? Take the sunglasses off this cat right here and you aren’t working with much. And what’s with that patch of unblended hair up above his left temple piece? What, homey doesn’t have access to a club brush? I need a bit better for the Premiere bro. Moving on. I love the show concept now that I’ve seen it in action. I mean, who wants to see 1 and 1/2 juicy cats (Willie and sometimes Q) and a bunch of “nice guys” make their album and then go on tour? That’s what was wrong with Da Band and their show, not enough charisma.

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Yeah, they were crazy as all hell, but they lacked that star quality. So what do you do? You bring back Danity Kane (still don’t quite get that name), Donnie and the rest of the fellas for an “album off”. It’s perfect. You get the subplots of the intra-band conflict, inter-band conflict and the omni present who’s gay, who’s not, and which dude is going to bang out which DK chick and under what circumstances? I love it.

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Speaking of the DK babes, let’s just talk about them some. First off, what the fuck is up with Aubrey? Man, the last time we saw ole girl she was young and flirtatious with a thing for every man that walked in the room. We all swore up in down that 1. Diddy was gonna hit (which he may have) and 2. that if given the chance, any of us reading the blog could probably hit too. That’s what was so good about her. Then she just started getting all arrogant and acting a damn fool.

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And no I don’t want to hear about your “friends” and how the paparazzi doesn’t print anything about your “two charities”. Two charities? Chick, you’re one bad single away from being a damn charity case yourself, what now you’ve got a foundation or something? What’s the cause, to help underprivileged trailer girls who have to make ends meet by selling their hair for your next weave? We all know how the game goes. You aint got no real money yet, nobody does based on their first album. Pleez. You think that Making the Band money is going to last your into the 2010’s and beyond? You’re just another thin blond chick with a decent face piece, some upgraded body parts and you should be happy to play any position MTV, Lake, Bad Boy, Diddy and yes, even the paparazzi give you.

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(Is that a pout or is that just her new surgically enhanced mug?)

I’m glad Puff set her straight with that little sitdown, but what the hell is with that highly suspect picture behind Aubrey’s right shoulder? Looks like two grown men, one of which may or may not be a homo thug, leaning up with a lil too much glee. Anyway, I also liked how Puff said, “baby gurl, if you change your eye color and it affects the group, I gotta problem with that”… haaaa, translation, “before you put those tittays on dubbs and injected that collagen into your new set of Angelina Joiles, you should have consulted me.” And of course he’s right. Diddy probably wants babes who give off the young, fresh and natural vibe like Aundrea, not that desperate cougar with too much make-up, too much weave and more work than a LA low-rider look Aubrey is going for. Baby girl, tone it down. You aren’t that hype.

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(I must say she looks good here though)

All that rhetoric in the limo about “do yall know who you’re riding with” and “we’re Danity muthafuckin Kane” was just awful. Stay in your lane baby and everything will be cool. Get out of pocket and you’ll be with the rest of the skanks at the Buffalo Jills dance team tryouts inside of 8 months. Moving on.

I liked what I saw from D. Woods. I must say, I haven’t been all that impressed by her in the past. I mean, sure she can sing and that’s important, but just didn’t get how she could make it in videos and on magazine covers. That is, until I saw this shot.

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Damn! That industry coca and champagne diet must really be doing it’s job. Or did she cop some HGH off Mary J and Timbo? Nah, if she did that then she’d look like this:

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(Lordy, those thighs lookin juicer than a Popeye’s two piece)

Damn, I never really put that picture in the lab like I should have. Jeez. Yall think Robert can handle that? Incidentally, I’m glad to hear no news of that old shat talking girl from before, June, wasn’t it? Glad to see ole Rob took my advice on that one. I don’t know, all I know is baby girl is looking trim in the middle and I like it. I could almost let her get away with that sideways mullet she’s rocking, but the business on the left, party on the right wig piece (at least I hope that’s a wig) just doesn’t work for me. Plus, it lets everyone know that she’s rocking a fade up underneath anyway. I can’t respect a chick who aint got more hair of her own than Brock does. I mean, at least lie to me, like Dawn for instance.

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Hmmm, now see. I like how Dawn came back. Beyonce weave, check… Make up done, check, a little extra effort on the tail piece, even if it’s just a back arch, check. I can’t lie, when she twirled around in tight white dress with the inappropriate white thong piece, I had to catch myself for a second.

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This budding relationship between Dawn and Q may have legs yet. I also appreciate it because it could finally take Q off “you’re gay” watch, something I’m eager to do.
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On the real, you can take all the hard yellow timbo boots with the beater and tats atop a baby grand all you want, but you gotta show me some things Q and I aint talking about in the booth youngin…knock it down and no I did not buy that “I wanna cut Lorrie Ann in that blue unitard” act you put on last season neither. That shit was terrible.

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Anyway, it was good to see Big errr Medium Mike back at it. I can’t lie, Diddy did need to set ole boy straight in the studio that one time as Mike has a tendency to treat every moment like he’s back on his front porch with his dog, Butch, just a crackin pecans and playin’ on his harmonica. Let me ask yall a question though, is Big Mike gonna bag a lady this season? I don’t know, he looked a little too reserved with the ladies at the club that night. I mean, you don’t have to cut a fool Mike, but you should show a little swag my man. Get up on Aundrea…grab a lock of Shannon’s painted on red hair. She could use the boost in energy. I mean, make something happen.

Finally, I’m not so sure about my man Donnie and his chances at stardom. Ok, apparently chicks dig his look, which I appreciate. I mean, Aubrey was doing more than break her neck for him and that was with the cameras rolling.

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You just know Donnie will or already has served Aubrey up a fresh plate of ass smackities. But I’m not so sure he’ll be hitting it right. All this shy guy foolishness, it’s just not working for me. Just like that high, but not quite right, Justin Timberlake impression he was doing in that booth wasn’t quite right.

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The jury is still out on Donnie, but he better bring it home for his countrymen.

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Lord knows they’ve got a lot riding on him. Enough for now.. If I didn’t mention this guy.

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This guy:

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Or that girl, there’s a reason for it. These people just need to step their game up or Diddy needs to do something to add spice. Still, the season looks very promising. I’m looking forward to it.

– Lake

============UPDATE=============

Check out the UvT review of Episode 2 right HERE.