Posts Tagged ‘Kobe Bryant’

Man Up Monday: Olympic Recap

August 25, 2008

While I didn’t stay up until 2:30am EST (although I guess the start time of that game could have made some sense on the west coast) when Espana had it at four at the two and a half minute mark, I thought Man Up Monday was about to be for the “Redeem Team” and all of USA Basketball.

Then the Black Mamba took over.  (Did he give himself that nickname?  Seriously, where did that come from?)  It does answer my question of whether Kobe can switch on him dominance like a switch  The answer is apparently yes.  That three at the three minute mark with nothing but a jab step from twenty something feet was craaaaazy.  I do like how they just call him “Mamba” now.  Which is not only a deadly snake, but also a delicious candy.  Chew, Chew, Chew chew Mamba!

This time I’ve got a whole bunch of man up moments.  The first goes to German Sprinter Tobais Unger.  Check out this bitchin’ and moanin’.

Unger voiced his complaints about the Jamaican sprinter to BILD sport, saying: “Bolt didn’t even warm up for the semi final. He showed up in shorts and jogging shoes, did his pickups and practice starts, put on his spikes and then ran the 100m in 9.92 seconds.

“Bolt ran a time of 9.8 seconds in May and again at the end of September. He showed no tiredness during training,” an annoyed Unger added.

“They do whatever they want on their island. Nothing happens to them. I’m the only one here at the Olympics who is registering with the doping controllers.”

Bolt apparently didn’t even know how to fill out the doping forms. The American sprinters’ coaches actually laughed when they heard about German doping controls.

Unger, who was cut in the semi-finals, threatened to quit: “I just don’t have the desire anymore.”

And by, “I don’t have the desire anymore”, he means, “I can’t beat any of these people and get into the finals”.  Come on Tobias, we’ve already established that the melanin challenged can’t make the finals of the 100m dash.  Give it up.

Oh, and Usain Bolt just called Us Versus Them HQ with a message for you.  Here’s where you can take that shit.

I also need whoever decides which sports make the Olympic games to man up.  After swimming ended it all went downhill from there.  I was looking for Olympic Hoops and ended up catching…uhhhh Mountain Biking.  This shit was crazy.  It looked like someone ran some tape around some trees and had cats just ride around in the woods.  Up a hill, down a hill around a corner, not enough room to pass each other.  Stupid.  Not to mention the fact that X Games BMX biking in a half pipe makes the cut now too.  How about Badminton?  Why?  Handball?  Seriously, where is that popular?  If you going to do that, why can’t Jai Alai get in there?

That guy wants a gold medal too.  He’s got a helmet and a hook thingy attached on his arm.  He’s a badass.  What about football?  (and the first asshole that points out that the Olympics has “Futbol” gets kicked in the teeth)  Let’s get Ultimate Fighting in there too.  They’ve already got wrestling, boxing, and tae kwon do in there, why not kick it up and drop em in the Octagon?  Anderson Silva needs a gold medal too.  Oh and China, I don’t want to hear about how you “won” the Olympics either.  You won on table tennis, air rifle and the aforementioned badminton.  Just stop.

Oh and a final man up to this dude.

Yes I’m talking about the guy on the right.  My man Matos did not like that disqualification, ok?

So all of the above.  MAN UP!

-Brock

Kobe Does it Jackass Style

May 29, 2008

We saw Kobe jump the Aston Martin, but he’s not done. Check this out:

Nike does it again. They are figuring out how to create viral video. I guess Kobe is fun again. They’ve got him switching shoes at halftime of games talking about how he wanted to be comfortable and get in rhythm in the first half, then wanted to take the game over so he switched to the Black Mambas in the second half. That is actually funny and great selling.

That is a far cry from this:

Damn. I almost forgot how icy Vanessa was. Whoooooo weeeeee. Kobe paid the price on that one.

By the way. Why is it just the fringe Jackasses still doing this shit? Where’s Johnny Knoxville? Where is Steve-O? These are just the dumbasses who will do anything.

-Brock

Kobe Bryant Has Hops

April 15, 2008

Check this video of Kobe Bryant:

Do I believe it is real?  No.  Could Kobe really do that?  Probably.  Is this a great attempt at viral marketing by Nike?  Definitely.

I’ll tell you what though.  This was absolutely not fake…just filthy as hell.

MVP…MVP…MVP

-Brock

UvT Sports: Does Anyone Still Play in the East?

February 28, 2008

Well Damn, the NBA trade deadline was on its way and people in the West lost their damn mind.  Seriously, I haven’t seen people re-up this hard since Avon Barksdale had those packets dropping out of the windows of Baltimore.  It all started when Pau Gasol got traded to the surprisingly decent Lakers. When Bynum comes back, they are going to give people matchup fits. Bynum, Odom and Gasol on the frontline with Kobe in the backcourt? Three cats who are above 6’9″? Two of which can handle the rock from anywhere?

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I don’t know if they can hold it together over a 7 game series, but damn, they’re gonna be tough.

Well I guess that raised some questions in everyone else’s mind also. Because the Phoenix Suns went on ahead and got big Shaq Diesel, The Mavericks picked up Jason Kidd, the hornets picked up Bonzi Wells, and the Spurs picked up Kurt Thomas. Kurt Thomas? Sounds boring, but someone needs to use up their fouls on Shaq, Pau, Dirk and all those other beasts in the West.

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Like my man young aRa Chay in ATL says, Shaq just doesn’t look right in that Suns uniform.  I’d rather see him in the old school Orlando pimp stripes again.

Meanwhile in the East, the Pistons picked up Juan Dixon? Seriously? I guess when 60% of your starting lineup is on the All-Star team, you don’t need much help, but damn Joe Dumars, you can come stronger than that. Okay, in the East the big news is that the Cavs picked up Ben Wallace, Joe Smith (didn’t we ask why the hell he was still in the league last season?) Wally freaking Szerbiak and Delonte West. Fine, Delonte West isn’t that exciting, but that ought to balance out the Cavs nicely. The Bulls basically get Drew Gooden and Larry Hughes..which is swahili for “the opportunity to start scrapping and rebuilding their team right now”. (By the way, why the hell aren’t they good with Heinrich, Deng, Gordon and Duhon again?) And the Sonics got their hands on as many expiring contracts as they could.  Great, that will fill the seats, I’m sure Kevin Durant is really happy about that.  Kevin, how do you feel about that trade?

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Yeah, I feel you bro.

All I know is that I’m scared to hook my NBA Live 2008 to the internet now, I don’t know who plays any damn where right now. By the way, why don’t they ask if I actually want to update my roster? I remember the good old days when I can fire up my old ass version of NBA Live and know that when I fire up the ’96 Bulls, I know exactly what I’m getting. On PS3, I loaded up the Boston Celtics on the wrong date and I had no KG, Big Baby Davis wasn’t on the already short bench, and there were about three backups to choose from. That’s not fun. I don’t want to be a GM, in fact, I don’t even want to have to manage fatigue, I want to grab starters like it is a damn all star game and go from there. I don’t want to watch the Pistons bench play basketball, and I damn sure don’t want to play with them on the video game I own. That shit is my property, it needs to go ahead and cater to my needs.  In fact, I want to play with a cross league, time warp version of the all star team. You know 2007 Kobe, 2001 Shaq, 2004 Kevin Garnett, 2006 Steve Nash, and a non back injury 2003 Tracy McGrady. Nasty squad right?

Phoenix actually looks nasty with Shaq hustling when he is in the game, but how long can that actually last? Dallas should be decent too. The Lakers should actually be able to make noise and go deep into the playoffs.  Oh yeah, and the Spurs are still the Spurs.  Out East the Pistons, Cavs and Celtics should be the front runners by a long shot.

-Brock