Posts Tagged ‘Kanye West’

Kanye West to Fiancée: “Neeeext”

April 22, 2008

One of the most terriblest (yep, I said it) shows on TV is Next.

It’s so typical, some random chick comes down the steps, tells you how she likes to raise turtles, mix mayonnaise and Jolly ranchers for her sandwiches or how she once pissed on a guy’s lawn to “impress” him. I mean, is there anything more contrived, more played, more entertaining than Next? Well, in a way, yes. When someone gets “Nexted” right before your very eyes. Hey Alexis, NEEEEEXT!

Come on now. Did anyone actually think this bullshit was going to last?

Lord have mercy.

Those ridiculous glasses “Ye” has on tell you exactly every-single-thing you need to know about this cat. He’s a wild boy and wild boys do not lock it down with a chick in their late 40’s, 30’s or 20’s. Come on now. You need only listen to three tracks on any album to know this cat is fickle, self centered and paid, a combination that does not lead to marital bliss. Plus, he’s “artistic”.. you know what “artistic” means in this context?

“I really love you and that’s my word, BUT, I can’t commit to you right now since I’m a creative person who feels things emotionally… I see things in colors and sounds. And if my heart is telling me something aint right, then I gotta go with that…”

I guaran-damn-tee that was the same conversation “Ye” had with Alexis when he broke it off. That or, “hey girl, I helped you get your name out there for your clothing line, now it’s time for you to stand on your own two feet…ma, beat it.” One of the two.

Damn son, real relationship or not, did Kanye get a look at what I’m seeing in that sheer Grey number ole girl is sporting right here? Yes, she’s got that good blasian appeal, but that curtain looking thang is talking to a nilla. Anyway, it should be no surprise that these cats don’t ever get married. Puff laid down the blueprint. You don’t get married when you’re a pop icon and rich. You pick the best looking, most sane chick you can find and you have a kid with her. Then you keep on going. Getting married only complicates things. You get married and no matter what you do you’ll have the haters out there talking about how you’re a cheater, you sold out your kids and the whole 9. Never commit and you’re just a dude with money who (hopefully) takes care of his kids, but is too “artistically and personally evolved” for the trappings of unrealistic relationships.

Get married and continue to live the life you should be living when you’re making hit albums and you’re just a dead beat hypocrite who talks about Jesus when it suits his needs. Stay single and you’re an eligible bachelor for life. It’s all very basic. The ONLY exception and I still don’t recommend this, is if you’re Jay-Z and you have a legitimate peer like Beyonce. Don’t get me wrong, they’re on the clock for a tap out within 3 years and I don’t think he should have wifed her either, but at least his math makes some semblance of sense. Nice work Kanye.

– Lake

Decent Kanye spoof

September 30, 2007

This starts out slow, but it’s a decent little Kanye spoof on SNL.

Ok, that was kind of funny and pretty cool.. but it pales in comparison to this hilarious, REAL clip of ‘Ye wilin out like he aint got an ounce of good sense or home training.

Or this little gem with Kanye sporting a clean 15 pounds of extra hair, chin and face chubb.

Dude looks like he just got out the woods or something. Lookin real crazy. But I gotta admit, he saw the future, because right now, he arguably is that best. And I’m not looking all that forward to that Jay Z, American Gangster album either. Look, homey is literally pushing 40, it’s officially time to STOP rapping ‘fam’…

-Lake