Posts Tagged ‘Julie Berry’

Survivor: Bring back the hotties

January 27, 2008

Someone on the Survivor production team must be reading Us Versus Them, because not only did the new Survivor bite our style, they also followed our advice. First of all it is called “Fans Versus Favorites” FvF doesn’t ring like UvT, but there is definitely going to be an Us Versus Them element this year. After Survivor: China having a severe hottie shortage, Survivor: Micronesia – Fans versus Favorites is coming on February 9th, and they are bringing the heat in 2008. Let’s keep this simple and meet a few old favorites and some welcome new additions.

The Old School Favorites:

Parvati:

parvati.jpg

Parvati (who knew her last name was Shallow?) from Survivor: Cook Islands is back boys and girls. We already highlighted her as one of our favorites last season, before we even knew she was coming back. She’s a welcome addition. Plus we get another season of listening to Jeff Probst murder her name (Poverty, Proverty, etc.).

Eliza:

eliza-orlins.jpg

Lake and I disagree on this one, but I’m down with Eliza. She’s quietly a dark horse to win. She’s been doing analysis and commentary on Survivor since Survivor: Vanuatu with the infamous Murtz. She gets the game and has paid attention to all of the changes in the game. She knows what she did wrong last time and will be gunning to fix it.

Amanda:

amandakimmel.jpg

Our favorite blurred out chick from Survivor: China is back. With Parvati and Eliza in the mix, you will see exactly what I’m talking about with Amanda Kimmel. She’s not really that tight. Wait…you don’t recognize her?

amanda-ass.jpg

How’s that? This was the angle the camera men preferred. I wonder if she had time between seasons to realize she needs more appropriate clothing so she doesn’t spend this entire season behind the blur.

Let’s check out the new chicks of Survivor…they brought some winners here too:

Mary:

mary-sartain.jpg

Damn, I see Mary Sartain went to the Vida Guerra school of dipping yourself in sand for pictures. She’s a pro in more ways than one. I hope her game is as tight as she looks. We need her to stay around for a while, she…ummmmm…looks entertaining.

Natalie:

natalie-bolton.jpg

Well at least Natalie Bolton thinks Natalie Bolton is sexy. She looks like drama. Why would you make that face in your picture? I bet all her friends have a stack full of pictures that look just like this. Hilarious. She’s out early, I can tell.

Tracy:

tracy-hughes-wolf.jpg

Pass Tracy Hughes-Wolf the botox…damn. I wonder if she can express emotion from the nose up? Yikes. Seriously, she either lifts weights with her jaw, or she got one last botox treatment trying to look her best on tv. What’s up with the Wolf in the hyphenated last name? There are real people with the real last name Wolf out there? Or is it this guy?

Alexis:

alexis-jones.jpg

Here’s the obligatory sweet girl next door. Alexis Jones could go either way. I can’t really tell what she’s working with from this pic. I know before even looking that she’s from the south. Just checked…it’s Texas.

You see Jeff didn’t send his girl Julie Berry back into the fray. Hell, I still need a gratuitous Julie pic.

julie-berry.jpg

Well, those are the ladies. The vets also bring back Johnny Fairplay, James from Survivor: China, Ozzy, and my man, your man, the inventor of the fake immunity idol…Yau-Man.

Gonna be a good one. Stay tuned.

-Brock

==============Update=============

Brock you forgot one necessary Survivor Hottie: Jenna Lewis.  I mean, babe was so ill, they brought her back for Survivor All-Stars.

jennalewis13.jpg

Not bad, but what really puts her over the top is that sex tape that I haven’t seen but which can be viewed on a NSFW basis right HERE.  You be the judge, because now you’ve got the information.  Is it Parvati without the goods or Jenna who you know is willing to go the ahem extra mile.

– Lake

Survivor China: Jean-Robert Goes All-In

November 13, 2007

 Check out our UPDATE on the Survivor: China Finale HERE.
survivor_china_official_logo.jpg

Survivor China is back this week and although they teased double crossing and backstabbing, it ended up being a pretty predictable affair.

First of all Jean-Robert starts to figure out the game in week 8 and kicks the poker “strategery” up in an effort to actually win the game.

jean-robert-figures-it-out.jpg

Up until this point Jean-Robert has simultaneously employed the “make myself worthless so when I actually do something it looks good” strategy, coupled with the threaten everyone who might vote for me strategy. What he should have done is drop in the Evel Dick/Richard Hatch take me to the end because everyone hates me technique. That was his problem. He was only a dick enough to be annoying, not enough so that everyone wants to take him to the end and sit next to him when it is time to vote.

Jean-Robert even tries to surprise James by squaring him up. But James wasn’t going for the banana in the tailpipe. So instead, James slapped J-R with his junk at a challenge.

james-survivor.jpg

Peace out Jean-Robert.

Once again the fake idol popped up again with Jean-Robert trying to fake people into believing he would be immune to being voted out. In the end, he got faded out by Jeff.

Since it was a slow week, let’s talk about something important. With the lack of hotties this season, let’s talk about Jeff. This cat has to have the best job in the world. Fifteen seasons of traveling all over the world, working 80 days a year, rocking cargo pants and denim shirts everyday and calling cats out at tribal counsel for B.S. you know they did because you’ve already watched the video tape.

But that’s not the best part, Jeff also bagged one of the hottest chicks to roll through the jungle on Survivor.

jeff-probst-and-julie-berry.jpg

Awwwww, don’t they look happy? Yeah, forget that, let’s see what else Julie’s working with.

julie-berry.jpg

I see you Jeff, she keeps it silky smooth through the stomach area. What else?julie-berry-2.jpg

A little side boob and tail piece combo. Let’s not forget that this was the chick that preferred naked sunbathing on the show. Well played Jeff, well played.

-Brock