Posts Tagged ‘Jessica Biel’

Lil Weezy off the market?

November 29, 2007

I read this mess on a gossip blog so you know it’s gotta be true (or completely fabricated, oh well). But according to Bossip, Lil Wayne has purchased an engagement ring for Lauren London.

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(Crickets) Yeah, right, I don’t know who the hell that is either. She’s the babe who played Turtle’s girlfriend for like 1.6 episodes on The Entourage.

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Riiight, thaat chick. Anyway, I’m not so sure I believe this. First, we aint never seen Bird Man Jr. with this chick, I mean, not never. Second, she’s cute and attractive and all, but, Lil Weezy is from New Orleans. That means, he’s used to chicks with that thunder. I mean, homey keeps a thick chick in his video, he was smashing Trina (after Baby was though..yuck) and I don’t know, I just feel like Weezy and I have the same taste in women. So of course that brings us to the ultimate question:

Is Lauren London a UvT Quality babe? Because lord knows Lil Weazy shouldn’t be messing with ole girl if she isn’t.

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Now, you knee jerk cats will immediately say, YES!!! I mean look at her. The babe is in fact tight. Pretty face, purty hair and it’s something about that wide “Bad Newz Kennels” inspired pitbull in a skirt stance she rocks with the extra wide hip that just be talking to a nilla…

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Let’s stop for a second, she looks DOPE in this shot. We need to file this joint under when hood goes good..WOW.

But the rest of her… I’m just not sure. Like this picture for instance.

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Oh, no no no.. see something here just aint right. It’s like when you bite into the Sweet Potato Pie and suddenly realize, oh no.. it’s Pumpkin!!! You try to make it taste right, feel right.. but it just aint the same. And no, it’s not just one bad angle.

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(Better, but still no)

Hmm, just reminds me of that famous line by Jigga Man aka Jay Z in battle anthem The Takeover against Nas.. “One was naaah the other was illmatic, that one hot album every ten years average”. Her tail is just uhh, nahh, eeeeh for me. I have a hard time rejecting her from the UvT quality crew, but right now, it’s just a no. Sorry, it’s just not good enough at this point. For real, it’s like the Hall of Fame, if you have to make an argument for a chick, she aint good enough. Like for instance, I’m going to show you two pictures. First think Lauren London, then:

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Bang, now you understand what we’re talking about here. Jessica Biel leaves no question. Oh, that backside pic is too easy you say? Keep it rollin intern.

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Boom..Meagan Good.. I mean, if all you ever saw of this babe was this picture, she’d still be on your top 5 baddest babes ever list.

Maybe next time Lauren. Damn, I feel bad, but only because we’re talking about Lil Wayne and his potential wifey. Tell you what, I’ll go ahead and throw out the challenge flag on myself and let Brock review it up in the booth, see if the call on the field stands or not.

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More later….

-Lake

—————UPDATE——————–

Lake, my nilla.  You have really put up a tough one here.  At first I thought we had missed one, but the third eye of UvT never lies.  I know I didn’t let one slip past me.  In order to overturn the call on the field, I’m going to need indisputable evidence otherwise.  I ran back the footage a few times and there’s not much there.  (evidence or tail)

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I don’t have the perfect angle, but the call on the field stands.  She’s out.  I tell you what isn’t up for debate.  The fact that Cassie has some big ass hands.    You see those things?

-Brock

The Ladies: Since we’ve been gone

November 21, 2007

Look, Lake the Don has been busy handling a lil bitniz, but I figured I’d let yall understand a few things about the world we live in because the more things change, the more they stay the same. First off, Kim Kardashian is still smoking hot and she still has plenty of ass for the rest of black Hollywood and NYC to get at.

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Enjoy fellas . Beyonce continues to impress.

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“Damn, rest in peace Apollo Creed, she’s a monster, everyday is Halloween.”

Wow, if she could just get a believable and consistent wig game, I’d be really ready to certify her as a UvT level babe. I mean, I know most of the star’s hair is fake, but B just takes it all to a whole different level. Speaking of different level, I just never get tired of posting up these Jessica Biel pictures.

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(does it get any better?)

Nice. Oh and we found out Britney was f*cking when she was 14… I know ones of people are shocked at that. Come on now, she was cutting in the trailer of her first video shoot. She’s a freak and though yall may not like to admit it, freak doesn’t know any age.. Come on, the first single was called “Hit me baby one more time.” That was no accident. Hell, even her promotional “innocent” shots were freakum joints.

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Clearly Brit was ahem “all in” during this era. What are you going to tell me next, that she got breast implants?

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Remember that first video, she just came in kicking and wilin out in that little school girl outfit?

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I know, I know, she was empowering young women. It was just an extension of girl power… It was a statement. Right. Well, yall are kinda right, she was powerful.

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Finally, I’ll post this up because I know plenty of you degenerates out there don’t care if a babe is virtual or in you warm embrace. Lake, he likes the real thing. That’s why I don’t get with these digitized hotties, but I know plenty of you have a jones for this Naked E-Angelina Jolie, so here you go.

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I hope you enjoy. That aint here though. Uncensored joints which I can’t really say are NSFW are HERE.

– Lake