Posts Tagged ‘Janet Jackson Superbowl’

Janet Jackson’s Right J is A-OK

July 23, 2008

Stop me if you’ve seen this before.  Remember Janet Jackson’s right tittay?

Okay, everyone has seen that before.  I have to admit, I had to rewind it when it first came out because I didn’t believe she broke it out.  That moment created an entire definition known as the “wardrobe malfunction” also knows as the “I tried some wild shit that no one thought was that cool, so I needed to act like I didn’t know it was going to happen.”

Even Big Black doesn’t believe that.

So the FCC dropped the hammer on Janet, Justin Timberlake and CBS.  I remember that they were trying to fine CBS some ridiculous amount for every affiliate station in every local market who was broadcasting the superbowl.  The total number was in the hundreds of millions.  How are you going to lose that much money for a unknown flash of titty?  What does a multimillion dollar titty even look like?  I’m an assologist, so I’m not well versed in the price of a good J.  I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a million dollar tittay.   Do you get charged more for a pair if they get flashed during the superbowl?  If I’m doing a show live from Mardi Gras and I catch a few dozen j’s in the background, can the FCC fine all of Mardi Gras?

Well apparently the FCC can’t do a damn thing because a federal court decided it didn’t have the right to make such a ridiculous deal out of it.  It is one boob, and it was on the screen for nine sixteenths of a second.  Meanwhile, they scared everyone out of doing anything on TV now.  Everything is blurred, bleeped or banned.

So if they can’t fine you anymore are boobs back in play?  How about asses?  Look, I’ll take either.  Let’s do it like the French, keep everyone butt naked.

That is sexier a flash of Janet Jackson’s boob. Bring back the tv bucked nakedness.

-Brock

The Superbowl Halftime Show Even Worse Than You Thought

February 12, 2008

I know I’m a little late on this one, but that Superbowl Halftime show was the worst. I know Janet whipped out the most famous right tit-tay in the history of television, but Tom Petty?  Do we really need to be that safe?  Here is the funny thing about the Tom Petty performance.  You know how they have the “fans” run out onto the field? (Of course they have been pre-screened, pre-trained on how and where to run out, background checked and kept in a holding pen under the stadium until needed) but they were the oldest, most non athletic runners I’d ever seen. I saw one dude that looked like he hadn’t run 40 yards in years. Seriously, look at this crowd.

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Peep ol’ girl with the red hair. Who’s moms is that?

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Did the superbowl committee supply everyone with LED “lighters”? You know good and damn well that many people don’t smoke anymore.  Seriously, I know they are trying to create a “concert” atmosphere, but that is just waaaaay too fake for me.  I was looking for the lingerie bowl, the Bud Bowl, the WWE Rock v. Mankind Halftime Heat in the empty stadium, a Go Daddy commercial that is actually good…anything else.  I’ll tell you one thing I did notice…

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I don’t know if Kanye did her beats, but someone certainly put Ms. Jordin Sparks on that Kanye Workout plan. I suspect that “belt” is helping her keep it tight, but she’s definitely heading in the right direction. I’ll tell you who else is letting you know what happens when keeping it thick goes right, Alicia Keys.

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I don’t know about the Leopard skin, but it is gripping on those thighs just right.

-Brock