Posts Tagged ‘James Survivor’

Survivor China Finale: Todd wins!

December 17, 2007

So I went ahead and peeped the end of Survivor China tonight.


It was very odd. Usually the people on the show look significantly better once they get all that grime and mud off them, but not this bunch. Almost everyone look bloated and caked-up with make-up on the reunion show. Brock asked early on who the hot chick was supposed to be on the show. Generally if you need to ask that question, the answer is that there wasn’t one. In theory Amanda was supposed to be the hot one and in fact, she had been in several beauty pageants coming in.


Hey, it’s not my cup of tea, but that’s a respectable thigh by anyone’s standards. And while it could have some more curve on it, that hamstring is talking to that arse piece in the far right picture. I can’t lie, she was looking exile sexy toward the end of the show. She’s naturally a somewhat stocky girl, so the Survivor diet fit her nicely.


Now that damn Courtney, who inexplicable got two winning votes by the way, did not take well to the Survivor diet.


Literally never. They said the chick started the show at 94 pounds and ended that joint at 86 pounds. Dammit!! There just has to be something illegal about that. Please note that you never heard her complain about a lack of food. That ought to tell you something. Yeah, your dad was tall and skinny, but A. you aint tall and B. he really wasn’t all that skinny. Only you are. And how did that chick get on the show anyway? I know you want a biatch to mix things up, but she just took things way too far. That line about how Denise didn’t deserve the money “because she sucked at life” was so so ill.

Speaking of Denise, she took it on the chin as a result of the show, so much so, that Mark Burnett had to break her off with $50,000 just for being so miserable. I mean, she lost her job as a lunch lady, she extended that mullet because it made her feel more feminine


(huh?) and then she even got iced out by the fans as the favorite Survivor. And let me ask, if her family is so poor and hard off, why was everyone in the family famously plump? Hey, I’m not trying to go Courtney on her, but she was a bit too vocal about why she deserved to stay in the game, like she didn’t ice out Piegh Gee. It’s not like cats aren’t out there trying to win too.


Oh and those Shoalin Karate sessions Denise demonstrated for us at the ancient temple..awful. She’s a 2nd degree blackbelt? I didn’t know JC Penny reversibles for $4.29 qualified. Hey, I’m like James Brown, I don’t know Karate, but I know Ka-razy and I’ll tell you right now, I’d call on the 36th Chamber, use my Wu Tang style and bust her candy ass in mixed martial arts.


Those moves at the temple were Daniel-son-eque and believe me, that’s not a compliment. Anyway, Todd won and he definitely deserved it.


He was the best game player and at times it definitely seemed like he was the only one playing the game. I couldn’t understand how Amanda didn’t know that she had no chance to win against Todd. That was not smart. You just had to like Todd to step up after kicking everyone off to be able to say, “Hey, I’m the man (sort of), I played the best and I won this shit. Everyone else road my coattails.” It’s just too easy and true by the way.

What I didn’t like about Todd was that damn lipstick he was rocking on the finale show. That was terrible. Anyway, James got the fan favorite $100,000, Todd got the mil and Denise got the sympathy $50 stacks. I can’t be too mad at any of it. Oh and this just in, the winner of the best looking Survivor is Peih-Gee.

tn_12807_sc5-peihgee.jpg s_d3ef735c11f6798bf5dac98deb0755b9.jpg


No question, she cleaned up nicely, had decent J game and an above average face. She just edged out Amanda who almost backed into the award, but something about the weirdo puppy dog eye she was giving during the last show bothered me.


What can I say?

– Lake

Survivor China: Jean-Robert Goes All-In

November 13, 2007

 Check out our UPDATE on the Survivor: China Finale HERE.

Survivor China is back this week and although they teased double crossing and backstabbing, it ended up being a pretty predictable affair.

First of all Jean-Robert starts to figure out the game in week 8 and kicks the poker “strategery” up in an effort to actually win the game.


Up until this point Jean-Robert has simultaneously employed the “make myself worthless so when I actually do something it looks good” strategy, coupled with the threaten everyone who might vote for me strategy. What he should have done is drop in the Evel Dick/Richard Hatch take me to the end because everyone hates me technique. That was his problem. He was only a dick enough to be annoying, not enough so that everyone wants to take him to the end and sit next to him when it is time to vote.

Jean-Robert even tries to surprise James by squaring him up. But James wasn’t going for the banana in the tailpipe. So instead, James slapped J-R with his junk at a challenge.


Peace out Jean-Robert.

Once again the fake idol popped up again with Jean-Robert trying to fake people into believing he would be immune to being voted out. In the end, he got faded out by Jeff.

Since it was a slow week, let’s talk about something important. With the lack of hotties this season, let’s talk about Jeff. This cat has to have the best job in the world. Fifteen seasons of traveling all over the world, working 80 days a year, rocking cargo pants and denim shirts everyday and calling cats out at tribal counsel for B.S. you know they did because you’ve already watched the video tape.

But that’s not the best part, Jeff also bagged one of the hottest chicks to roll through the jungle on Survivor.


Awwwww, don’t they look happy? Yeah, forget that, let’s see what else Julie’s working with.


I see you Jeff, she keeps it silky smooth through the stomach area. What else?julie-berry-2.jpg

A little side boob and tail piece combo. Let’s not forget that this was the chick that preferred naked sunbathing on the show. Well played Jeff, well played.