Posts Tagged ‘Jacked Up’

Oh Hail Naw: Zoe, What Happened?

January 7, 2008

Now you know Zoe Kravitz was put up for consideration a few months ago for keeping it fine. In fact, here is a quick reminder of what she’s working with.


OK, so the blank stare suggests she might have hit that booger sugar one too many times, but she’s still working with something. But then I was caught off guard. Zoe was recently caught out looking like this:


Aw damn. Is that the Tyrone Biggums version of Zoe Kravitz? She’s rocking the frohawk for real. I mean what is that? I think there is a hat involved in there somewhere, but I truly can’t tell. I know her momma’s got “good hair”, but that is no excuse to rock the combination straight, curly, slick it down on the left, spike it up on the right, Wolverine sideburns joint.

Now see, this is what happens when black chicks start hanging out with white kids and start really buying in. Zoe, did you just wake up and comb some water through your hair? You know you gotta break out the silk wrap at night, right? I know you don’t want to freak out your white boyfriend, but he’ll appreciate it when he doesn’t look like he is doing community service with crackheads.

Wait, there’s more.


Ok. That’s definitely a hat. I think this picture is even crazier. I’ll be damned if she still isn’t working with something in that stomach/thigh area though. I still see you Zoe. You are going to have to put in some really killer, Milian style bikini on the beach work before you make it back to the front page though mama.

I feel like Keenan Ivory Wayans in I’m Gonna Get You Sucka.

Don’t make me hop after you.