Posts Tagged ‘I Love Money’

I Love Money…But I Hate This Show

August 5, 2008

Flavor of Love was entertaining.  I Love New York was pretty good.  Rock of Love had a second season so someone watched it.  They took the wildest cats from all these shows and put them all together.  I thought it would be great, another trainwreck waiting to happen.  First of all, there is not enough of this:

More Hoopz please.  Take a cue from Real World/Road Rules Challenge an throw her in some spandex, drop her in some water or some baby oil and make her slide on a piece of glass or jump in a baby pool or something.  Meanwhile, she’s barely on the show.  That turned my excitement level from about 7…seben purnt faave to long ’bout 3.  Too much turrible Toastee and Pumkin.

Problem number two?  This guy.

Who is this guy and how did he get this job?  There hasn’t been a host this bad since Jonny Moseley.  This guy is useless.

Problem Three:  The Stallionaires aren’t the Stallionaires any more.

People refer to them like they are dominating the game, but they are useless.  Real is kinda a punk in competition, and Chance just taps out at every opportunity.  These guys should be the new age Chill Town.  You’ve got an alliance you can trust built right in.  They should be running this game.

Problem Four: We need more of this.

Correction, that was terrible.

I’m caught up now.  I need to at least speed Tivo through this thing just in case they take my advice on Hoopz.  I mean Big Brother someone managed to find the least attractive, least demonstrative women ever to agree to have their entire lives broadcast on live tv?  Aren’t these chicks supposed to be struggling actresses or half porn stars?  Can we get some half buck naked every once in a while?  At least a swimsuit, a tan?  Can we mix it in?  Thanks.

Until Survivor or RW/RR challenge comes back on, it’s all I’ve got.

Dammit.

-Brock

Buckeey Speaks Out About Sex Tape

July 18, 2008

Anybody who reads this blog regularly knows I have an unholy interest in Shay “Buckeey” Johnson. And then when she came correct with that sex tape (found HERE), my initial “interest” was ahem fully confirmed.

Now baby girl is speaking out on her sex tape. I don’t want to ruin the moment, so I’ll let her explain the release to you in her own words:

It troubled me to find out my ‘intimate act of love’ was classified as a sex tape. I didn’t speak on it because I knew how tender the situation was between me and my partner. I didn’t want to point fingers at anyone or come out with any names because it was then and still is very much my personal business. Over these past few weeks I have been tortured by strangers about what happened, who was I with, did I release the tape on purpose to get publicity, can I prove to them it was me and multiple other random and indecent requests and questions. So I’m forced to make a statement. Once you become a personality on television (slow down girl) you become the target of haters and I am no different (you got that right), the release of the tape was done by a hater, stolen by a hater and is just another blatant case of bitchassness.

Intimate act of love? Buckeey acts like we didn’t watch the damn tape. Well, I didn’t, but you know. If looking at the camera, barely acknowledging “your partner, and taking it raw dog up the back door are the elements of this “intimate act of love” then Flavor really f*cked up when he didn’t pick you.

With that arse you’re sporting and that mic game you displayed, I can’t imagine a single dude who wouldn’t want your kind of intimacy in-house. And baby, it’s called a “sex tape” because you were on tape having sex. That’s what happens when you’re taking dack and sucking cack, all while keeping eye contact with camera one. And that money shot line she delivered on cue, veeeery intimate. It was tender even.. oh what was it? Oh yes:

“Yes, he just nutted all over me.”

Bang! I wonder who that message was for? You, the Nut-tee or dude, the Nutter. And no, I can’t quite imagine why either one of your would need to be told that just happened. But hey, that shit was like T.S. Eliot yall. Or was that Eliot Spitzer. I can’t tell. I will give MAJOR points to Buckeey for sticking that landing at the end with that “Bitchassness” line, though.

That was hot. Only when you’ve got reindeer in your blood line and you’re better around Mics (or Mikes) than Scottie Pippen, I don’t think the term will be read the same way. I mean, it definitely was some “Assness” going on in that video. And while I would never call you a beeeyatch, well, others might. At any rate, more Buckeey is good for my life and the more “projects” she does, the happier I am.

I just want to see the rest of her sex tape. And if she didn’t release it, she should be thanking whoever did. Let’s face it, she didn’t make the cut for I Love Money, which means that Pumkin even gets higher billing than her. Meanwhile, Tiffany “New York” Pollard is quietly going on her 5th or so reality show in a row.

You know you’re a low level broad when New York is whoopin your ass in the ratings. Sheeeit, Buckeey needs to come out with a whole line of pornos just to get a callback errr look for true love on VH1 again. Out.

– Lake

VH1’s I Love Money, Season Premiere

July 10, 2008

Here we go again… From the makers of Flavors of Love 1, 2 and 3, I Love New York 1 and 2, Charm School (clearly we only needed one of those), Rock of Love 1 and 2 (the only show in the bunch I didn’t watch) and A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila 1 and 2 we now have I Love Money.

Look, we all know the deal with these shows. It’s a bunch of Hollywood rejects willing to subject themselves to almost any level of humiliation for a chance at some face time and hopefully their own show. so that they can ultimately get spit out the bottom of the porn industry

errrr flip their newfound success into real showbiz careers.

And we all know that aint gonna happen. So what did they do? Of course, they just kept it real and copied those completely played and similarly sad, though less comical, Real World/Road Rules spin-offs.. You know the Gauntlet, Crucible, Inferno (whatever, though quietly, that new Real World/Road Rules Survivor rip off looks like it has potential) and made the show strictly about money.

Fair enough. So then it’s just a matter of who was on the show. Well you know it wouldn’t be a show without some eye candy. So they brought in Hoopz, which I respect.

And please peep those Hoopz NSFW HERE at your leisure.

And that chick from Beauty and the Geek/Rock of Love Fame:

Don’t know her name and clearly I don’t care. But I’d be lying if I told you she didn’t have that white girl thunder. Incidentally, here are her NSFW (I’m seeing a trend here) Playboy shots. Actually, this chick’s body is what only Brooke Hogan can see when she looks at herself in the mirror. The rest of us see a version of this:

Ha… I know, I know, I just talked Jim Carrey the ‘nother day. Keeping it simple. Sadly, that’s the only real eye candy on the show. And even the skanks lost their limited skank appeal. Sheeeeit, Pumkin looks like she done set out to actually become her namesake.

I mean, homegirl is plump. Anyway, at least they came back with the Stallionaires…which is still one of the worst and best rap group names in all of history. Haaa.

Oh yeah, Chance and Real are back and yes, their album is still “about to come out.”

“Yuckmouth, cuz he don’t brush..” Then you had the usual suspects. Mr. Boston’s unfunny ass. Whiteboy, who should get an Emmy for that ridiculous “based on an untrue story” role he’s playing as a down ass white dude. I know, I know.. ha

Anyway, after that you’ve got an assortment of douchebags (and please don’t take that characterization lightly, I RARELY use that term, but it’s oh so true for this show), trashy hoes and general misfits like that broke ass Bushwick Bill lookin cat Midget Mack, who incidentally got checked the fuck off the show the first night.

Nice. I spoke to Brock about Episode 1 and all in all, it left us a bit underwhelmed. But it’s got potential. I’m just waiting for 12 Pack and his little sidekick there 5 Pack aka Heat (lol) to get up on some gay shit so that we can really set the party off.

I’m also looking for that damn Nibblz to bang some dude out, seeing as she’s a full-time dominatrix (her exact words) and all. Dominatrix? Don’t you mean ho? Oh yes, I’ll be glued to my tv, a least for one more episode.

Oh and it just wouldn’t be right if I didn’t mention all those folks that are missing from the cast. First off, where’s Buckeey.

You gotta have her, especially after that great sex tape I never saw. Also, where is that Gentleman Punk? I thought he was busy trying to show positive images on gutter reality tv….

One spiked strand of moused out hair at a time.

And why couldn’t we get some Buddah back on set. We definitely needed some more of his antics.

Maybe he would have whooped some more ass, something I always appreciate. Oh well, I guess you can’t have it all. Hell, maybe some of these fools actually got their lives together and have moved on to better things….nah. ha

Stallionaires baby…book it.

– Lake

I Love Money: Hell Yeah

July 7, 2008

Seriously, this has potential to be the greatest show of all time.

That picture says it all.  It’s got my boy Chance and the always sexy Hoopz.  Plus all the other crazy chicks from Flavor of Love and the wildest cats from I Love New York.  Just for kicks, they added in the fake J’d out chicks from Rock of Love.

Fine, this is nothing but a copy of the Real World/Road Rules challenge, but there’s a kicker.  At least on the Real World, they try to find half respectable people.  Sure, they all have major personal and psychological problems, but at least they are partially legit.  These cats from Flavor of Love, I Love NY and Rock of Love don’t even have the semblance of legitimacy.  They are all straight clowns and fools.  Caricatures of real people, making no qualms about the fact that they are just out there trying to get famous.

How do you take that dude seriously?  Because he is a Stallionaire?  Why is he wearing slippers?

This cat Midget Mac was just asked how he would spend the money.  His response was “I’d probably give 200 to my momma…and my daddy.  Then the other fifty, I’d probably spend on strippers.  I’m just being real wit’chall.

We’ll Midget Mac wouldn’t have to go far to spend his money.  Half the chicks on this show have got to be in the business.  If they weren’t before, they are now.

You know Toasteee is down.  She looks like a real porn star.  You know.  Cute, but not actually cute.  Looks like she’s seen a few things.  Knows how to slide down a pole upside down, can do he splits and shake one ass cheek on command.  Actually, that was in her audition tape, they showed it about 5 times during the show.

Look, Hoopz seems to be the most legit chick on the show and even she breaks it down like this.

I’ll be watching.  This is more than just a trainwreck.  This is a pile of toy trains wrecking inside of a traincar about to be hit by a wrecking ball that is suspended between two bullet trains heading toward each other at 200 miles per hour.  That means I’ll be tuning in erry single week.

-Brock