Posts Tagged ‘Hope Solo’

The curse of Hope Solo: Ryan out as coach

October 23, 2007

All-Time worst teammate ever, Hope Solo, got part of her wish yesterday when US Women’s Soccer Federation (or maybe it was some chicks next to a bullhorn) announced that Coach Greg Ryan would not be retained as the team’s head coach (where does a disgraced ex-women’s National Soccer Team coach go anyway? U-12 boy’s recreation league?)


At any rate, who knows what the queen of all bitchiness and unsportsmanlike behavior will get into next (maybe a shot at Tila Tequila, she seems like she may go that way). She hasn’t played in a single game since she broke ranks her Brianna Scurry, he coach, team and country over in China.


Maybe she’s planning to put a hit out on Scurry next. Hope is a muthafucka!

– Lake

Catfight: Finally a reason to pay attention to Women’s World Cup Soccer

September 28, 2007

The United States Women’s National Soccer Team (WNT) is one of the most successful teams (women’s or men’s) in history.


(Remember this? That wasn’t contrived or anything)

They’ve dominated women’s soccer for years with all kinds of Olympic, World Cup and other international tournament wins. Of course, none of that matters and it never really did. I mean, let’s face it, I can go to any High School in the nation, grab their Boys Varsity Soccer team and they’d MURDER any team in the Women’s World Cup (No, it’s IS true).

At any rate, none of that proud history seemed to matter after Coach Greg Ryan decided to bench regular goalkeeper, Hope Solo, in favor of veteran goalkeeper Briana Scurry, heading into the semifinal match against Brazil in the Women’s World Cup in China. The WNT subsequently lost to Brazil 0-4 and Greg Ryan received considerable criticism for the sudden lineup change, most notably from benched goalie, Hope Solo. Peep her act after the game:

“U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A!!!! Wow! Have you ever heard ANYONE in ANY sport go after one of their own like that?!?!

“It was the wrong decision, and I think anybody that knows anything about the game knows that. There’s no doubt in my mind I would have made those saves.”

Is this chick serious? First of all, the first goal was an own goal, her own player headed into their net, there was literally nothing Scurry could have done to stop that.


(With that said, it’s hard to defend a chick who rocks a curl (and no it doesn’t matter that it’s a dry curl now). Hey, Bri, channel Fif Dog and understand the credo – if you can’t extend it then you might as well suspend it, if you can’t braid it, best thing to do is fade it.)

Second, every single goal was scored inside the 18 yard box. That’s not the goalie’s fault, that’s a porous defense that can’t stop the beautiful, silky smooth, more passionate and more intelligent Braziliant offensive flurry lead by Marta, my new favorite Brazilian woman.

(That goal was CRAZY, I love me some Marta!)

But even if what Hope said were true, which at best was a biased and completely speculative judgment call, what does it matter? The game is over and you just don’t do that. Ohhh, I get it. It’s Hope Solo’s turn to hook up an inappropriate and very public CATFIGHT! YES!


Hilarious!!! Dude, even if all this stuff were true, nobody in team sports, especially on the international level, is supposed to blow up their coach and teammate like that!!! Damn lil mama, you must be hard core.


Come to think of it, after I saw what the coaches reaction was to Hope’s comments, I can see why she punked him and everyone around that team. Dude is a complete p*ssy!

“Obviously there’s always opportunities for reconciliation,” Ryan said Friday. “This has only just happened. We’ll work to try to get past this hurdle.”

Try to get past this hurdle? What? Can you imagine a coach in any other walk of professional sports life saying something like this? No wonder she’s kicking him in the nuts in the press, he doesn’t even own a pair. Man up, dude. This is what Ryan should have said:

Privately: “Fuck a Hope So low and the horse she road in here on. She’ll never play another fucking game as long as I’m affiliated with this team, she’s finished!”


Publicly: “I’m the head coach, I make the decisions, not the players. Scurry has won games for us, she’s our vet. If Hope Solo doesn’t like it, she can catch the next thing smoking back to the States, oh yeah, and she’s SUSPENDED for the duration of the tournament!”


(Run her down, make sure she never Fs with you again!)

I know, I know, he doesn’t want to lose his job and Hope Solo is a future in the net. Is she? In four games she gave up two goals, that aint dominant. And even if she is, so what. If he has no respect from the team and allows the players to push him around, he’s going to lose his job anyway!


This cat is trying to patch things up? This coach is a complete beeeyatch!!! Perfect reason to Fire this dude. How can you be a leader of men eeer women when you can’t even handle a whinny little brat like Solo? No wonder she played you like that, you’re more of a woman than any chick on that field (though by the looks of some of those “chicks,” that’s not saying much). HA, And what about the balls on Hope?!


(LOL.. throw up them thangs up girl! Incidentally, I can’t decide if Hope is attractive or not. I mean, when I look at her, I’m both excited and a bit scared. On the one hand, she’s got those cool eyes… Makes her look like a cat woman or something, which you just got to love. Still, something about her screams drag queen, sturdy chin special.) I can’t decide. See, that’s why women’s soccer needs to go for the sex appeal. The Brazilians know how to present some female athletes and so they win. Check it.


Sheeyut, it’s no wonder we can’t compete!!!

The closest thing we have to that was that silly sports bra nonsense or I guess this chick:


(WNT defender Heather Mitts, ok, I can’t hate on ya)

And then I guess there are a few more. There’s that tatted up chick too, Natasha Kai from those ESPN commercials.


She’s decent in a grimy kind of way. But let’s face it, when can’t win a chick karma battle with the Brazilians. Too many flavors. Too many bad chicks. Too much care for how they look, they’re even more looks conscious that we are as a culture. It’s the perfect storm.


And it shows.

At any rate, we’ll see how Ryan handles the team’s next game in the consolation round. If he plays Solo, he might as well just unpack all his shit and stay over there in China.. He won’t have to worry about a thing, because he sure as hell won’t have a job when he gets back to the states.. Sheyut, they need Coach Lake Arlington over there in China, then you’d see some results….Whippin h*oes into shape, trying to bang out a US defender pictured above, hollerin at the Braziliant opponents for my own Carnival con capirihnas back in the hotel room and gettin my authentic Kung Pao-General Tso combo po po platter with “rye” on…. Sounds like a perfect recipe for VICTORY. Yall got my number.

– 中國湖泊

One more Brazee pic for good measure:


I likeded that shit!