Posts Tagged ‘Hillary Clinton quit’

Bo Knows, But Hillary Don’t Know Sports

May 16, 2008

I’ve let this slide for a few weeks but I just can’t take it no mo. Hillary Clinton and her camp have been saying that she “wants to play until the game is over”, “that you don’t tell a football team to quit just because they are down in the fourth quarter”, or that “if you were supposed to quit before you play the whole game, the New York Giants wouldn’t have won the Superbowl”.

I know Hillary, you’ve just got your rope-a-dope going, right. You’re still just waiting for your spot to land the knockout punch.

Well, today I heard Hillary say she just needed to hit the three pointer at buzzer. Dammit Hillary, every time I hear you say something like that it just makes me realize you don’t know a damn thing about sports. A three pointer? You think you are just behind by a last minute long three at the buzzer? Hell naw shorty.

Hillary in sports we have a little something called “scoreboard”, it means no matter how much junk you talk Barack can take a look back at that scoreboard and know it doesn’t mean a damn thing. Needing a three at the buzzer would mean you need just a few Puerto Ricans to swing your way and you’d shock the world. That’s not what you need. You need this guy:

To give you a three pointer, a steal with a step back three, and get fouled to drain the free throws in 11 seconds like he did to the Knicks in ’95. Then you need Jason Williams to hit you with some of this:

Then you need John Elway to run the two minute drill for you

The you would need Tim Donaghy to referee and give him a little loot to make sure “things swing your way”

And even then I don’t think you could win. Oh, I forgot, you don’t know sports…that means it is a longshot. Of course, if you take a look at Hillary and know she hasn’t played a sport in her life.

Damn, that’s worse than I thought. So wonder she prefers pantsuits.

Oh…this just in. I shared the plan with Rasheed Wallace…Hey Rasheed, Hillary still thinks she’s got a shooters chance of winning.

I know I don’t get it either.


Man Up Monday: Hillary Clinton

May 12, 2008

HIllary.  Stop, please just stop.  Fine, you’re tough.  You are going hard.  I know, there isn’t a nominee yet, so the game isn’t over.  The problem is, you are just making yourself look crazy, desperate, and the people around you are starting to look like complete fools.  First, you were just going to steal the Super Delegates by cashing in all of Bill’s chips.  Then you want to count Michigan and Florida, one state where you were the only person on the ballot, and another state where people were told votes don’t count before the election.  First you were down with delegates, then the super delegates, then big states, then some imaginary delegate count that your people made up.  The funny thing is, whenever you make up a new standard, Barack ends up beating it. This weekend I heard you try to say how important West Virginia is in the election.  “No president has been elected since 1920 without winning West Virginia.”  Sure, that could mean that it is an important state, orrrrrrrrr, it could mean that WV goes which ever way the wind blows and doesn’t mater at all.

So HIllary, remember the last person who couldn’t drop out of the race?

Right.  Remember how stupid he looked?

The worst part is, now HIllary is just saying stupid shit.

On Friday, she said her base was “working, hard-working Americans, white Americans”.  What?  Hillary, let me tell you how the English language works.  When you speak in phrases like that, it means you are redefining the previous phrase.  So that means that “hard-working Americans” and “white Americans” are synonymous.  Which is to the exclusion of everyone else.  Which is also code for “You know Barack is Black, right”?  Even old school Clinton devotee Charlie Rangel had to say, “That is one of the dumbest things she could have said”.

HIllary, you are always talking about how tough you are.  You’ve wanted to show that you can play as hard as the guys.  You want to show you can fight and scrap with anyone from Chris Dodd to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.  Well it is time for you to Man Up!

That means to step down while you’ve still got some dignity.  It is like a UFC match, Barack has you in a tight arm lock.  You don’t need to get your arm broken to prove you are tough.  There is dignity in saying you’ve been beaten by the better competitor.

Man Up…and please do it soon.