Posts Tagged ‘Hatin’’

Danica Patrick Needs to Step Her Game Up

April 23, 2008

Sure, she won her first race on Sunday, but that’s not really what matters, right? I mean if it did, she wouldn’t have been marketing herself as some Tease Mag sex pot all these years while she was losing. Hey, I know I’m hatin’ a lil bit right now, but I just need Danica to tell me who she wants to be. On second thought, let me just go ahead and make the decision for her, Danice, stick to driving.

Now don’t get me wrong, overall Danica is attractive. But I’m starting to think that a bunch of these “famous” chicks are getting over just because they’re not fat. I mean, is “Not Fat” status good enough to get you a magazine spread? It certainly appears so.

Like what is that? I do give extra points for the tramp stamp, why is she rocking some wild elfin magic footers that just scream “why pay more when you can pay less”? Second, I mean, have these photoshoots become so mundane for Danny that she doesn’t even bother to properly bend her arse over anymore? What is a dude gonna do with her in that position, frisk her? As Tyra would say, she’s not committing to the shot. Come on now, face down, ass up, that’s the way men will envision the cut! I know, I know, she’s sexy because she’s a race car driver and not ugly and when I see this shot I should be having visions of bang outs on top of speedy muscle cars. The problem is, when I see this shot, all I’m thinking is “damn, I thought Danica looked better than this, I wonder what she’d look like with clothes on?

Ahhh, now see. That’s much better. Now she’s a cute girl with a credible edge. But you can’t just throw some leather draws on, bust out the prop room high heels and fluff up the Kansas basic hair do and expect me to get excited. Ah, what the heck, I’ll give her one last chance.

Nah, this chick definitely should not quit that day job…

– Hatin’ Lake