Posts Tagged ‘Goofy’

You Know What’s Messed Up?

April 29, 2008

In the Disney universe there is Pluto, Mickey’s loyal dog and pet.  Standard dog, walks on all fours, wears a collar, eats dog biscuits.

But then…there’s also Goofy.

Who is also a dog, also Mickey’s friend, but he walks on to legs and talks, and wears clothes.  In this world, they are all walking, talking animals…why did Pluto catch the short end of the stick?

In fact the whole thing is kinda freaky.  Mickey has no shirt, Donald has no pants.  Is Mickey a big ass Mouse, or is Goofy a tiny talking dog?  Either way, that ain’t right.

The Thundercats, they were fair.

Sure, Cringer didn’t get any clothes or a weapon, but at least he could talk.  It would be like Battlecat from He-Man being a part of the crew and instead of rolling out into battle, Lion-O just rode him (no felino) instead of jumping into the Thundertank.

See, that wouldn’t be right.  They’re all cats, you can’t just pick one to use like a damn horse.  That’s racist.  So Pluto, I got your back.  We’re gonna fight for equal rights.  I’m getting “Free Pluto” T-Shirts made up and we’re going to win this battle…then we’re going to South Carolina, and Oklahoma, and Arizona, and North Dakota, and New Mexico, and we’re going to California, and Texas and New York and Michigan…Then we’re going to Washington D.C. to take back the White House….Yaaaaaaaahhhhhh!

-Brock

Yes, I’m tired and on the verge of losing my mind.  Back to sports, Assology and my new studies in Tailonomics later.