Posts Tagged ‘Go Duke’

Classic material: Laettner rips out UK’s heart

December 12, 2007

People didn’t like Christian Laettner and Christian liked it that way.

Wow… That was pretty gangster, “shoots, scooooooores” was how I remember it on the radio call. He really ripped out the heart of the UK fans and eat it in front of them with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

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Go Duke

– Lake

Balco T and Heels sit atop both polls

December 4, 2007

The North Carolina Tarheels moved up to No. 1 and former No. 1 UCLA fell to No. 8 in the latest ESPN/USA Today coaches’ poll, released Monday. In addition, North Carolina remained No. 1 in The Associated Press poll. Not bad for the boys in baby blue. After Carolina took the top spot in both polls, Tyler Hansbrough aka Balco T was ecstatic.

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I know what you’re saying, but Lakey, he doesn’t look so happy. Well, that’s Tyler’s happy face. If you haven’t ever watched the dude, he’s a pretty weird cat with a chemical imbalance I haven’t seen in the ACC since Tim Duncan was getting his robotic big fundamental on in the late 90s.

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I pretty much thought the dude was a freaking cyborg or something like Bishop from Aliens. And just like Ripley, I don’t trust this big mufucka. Why not? It’s simple.

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Tyler is either a really weird cat or he’s really peaking and tweaking on the best and brightest steroids they can find out there in Missouri where he’s from (clearly he’s not getting his stash from UNC, they just got the cotton gin last month thanks to a time capsule they stumbled upon).

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Check out their English Lit Department.

I know, I know, it’s a great school and just as academically competitive as Duke. Riiight. haaa Look, I’ll admit, if Duke had majors in Hog tying, muskrat cookin,’ food shootin,’ Git’n her dun, Nascar, racism and tabaccy spittin’ as the Tarheels do — UNC at Chapel Hill would be a darn tootin tough school to beat. But since we don’t, I don’t think we want to be comparing the two schools academically, ok?

At any rate, somebody get Tyler Hansbrough a steroids test, tanning lotion and some clippers because I’ve pretty much had enough of what I’ve seen. Hell, this cat looks and acts like College Basketball’s version of Ivan Drago….”I play for me!!!”

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Until then or until he can show me he’s a normal dude with normal emotions and advanced language skills, he’ll be known as Balco T around these parts, ya dig?

– Lake

Rock Bottom: Harvard smacks Michigan Hoops

December 2, 2007

When I saw this headline, Men’s College Basketball Scoreboard: Michigan 51 , Harvard 62, I literally had to blink the sleep out of my eyes. Then I went ahead and channeled James Brown via Eddie Murphy, “jumped back, wanna kiss myself…HEEEEY“… That didn’t work.

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(Tommy to Michigan administration, coaches and players: “It’s me bitches”)

Indeed, the score I saw was real. Geez. How terrible do you have to be to lose to “the Real HU?” Listen, I don’t care if it’s early in the year, pre-season, on the road, after a back to back bender, hell, it could be a summer pick-up game.  If you’re Michigan Basketball, you are never, ever, eva eva eva eva eeeeeeevaaaah to lose to Harvard University. I don’t care if they’ve got John Wooden, Coach K and Bobby Knight on the bench. I don’t care if they’ve hired JeBron James to play as a ringer. You just can’t lose to Harvard! I mean, how far have Michigan athletics fallen? First they lose to Appalachian State, then they got rocked by Oregon, beaten by Wisconsin and whooped by Ohio State. Then Les Miles ices them out for the vacant coaching job, now this.

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Man, the major subplot in all of this, of course, is that Michigan just fired Harvard’s first year Head Coach, Tommy Amaker, the former Duke Assistant coach and standout player, who got a little revenge against his old team. Boy, Tommy must have really done a hell of a job with help from top tier Harvard athletes to get this win right?

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Errrrr, say what?

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Yeah, either that or Tommy just slapped on his favorite mock turtleneck-suit combo, went down to the computer lab and picked a bunched of dudes who looked like they might have a little game, sent them to the scorers table and whispered in their ears “Michigan sucks.” Oh well.

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(Is it the way he combs his hair? Uh, not really)

Nice win Tommy, I’m happy for you bro. Michigan, honestly, you suck.

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(Beilein: “You assholes, I can’t lose to Haaarvaaaaard!!!!!”)

But I think you already know that. Crazy. I’ll tell you this, it’s not the end of the world and he may not have his own players, but that loss should put a short leash on Coach Beilein’s act in Ann Arbor and the AD should be fired, period.

– Lake