Posts Tagged ‘Gary Coleman gets married’

Gary Coleman Still Hasn’t Hit Big Red

May 5, 2008

Dude, when I saw that Divorce Court with Gary Coleman and Ole Red, I knew I had to put that thang on the top of my tivo list.

So anyway, I decided to fire up that Arnold Drummond Divorce Court today and well, I mean, hey, you just gotta watch this thing yourself to understand:

Damn homey… You’ve been married for a clean 8 months and you aint seen no paaaaaaarts of the booty? That’s tough. Maayne, I think Arnold is just tricking himself with all this “I love Shannon with my mind” and “I need to be inspired to hit” nonsense. Let’s be clear, somebody is tappin dat azz and from the looks of it, it aint young Gary.

She too decent looking for a broke 4 footer with a perpetual 5 o’clock shadow on his upper lip piece to just get off scott free without handling the manly duties. And she said that their sex life was ok for her. Sheyut, if I’m Arnold, that statement does not give me comfort. The only thing worse than a chick who is unsatisfied with your hit skills is a babe that couldn’t care less if you bring the thunder or not!

You don’t want to be the next cat to find out that Roger Clemens is putting that “chin music”, sinker and cutter on your old lady. Homey, you better handle your business!

Damn, I aint felt this bad for Arnold since Abraham the Black Goldfish died.

– Lake

Gary Coleman gets his first piece of tail

February 13, 2008

I’d like to congratulate on this monumental accomplishment. Yep, according to Arnold, he got his first piece of Not-for-Profit ass.

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Yes that’s right, the 40 year old Arnold allegedly married a 22 year old firecrotch named Shannon Price. How do I know, he told us so. Peep the quote:

“I never got the opportunity to be romantic or feel romantic with anyone,” he says. “I wasn’t saving myself, she just happened to be the one.”

Damn, talk about different strokes. AHNT.. LOL.

The couple’s nuptials happened, “on a mountaintop,” according to Arnold. “Nobody was around but the minister, preacher, the videographers, the photographer, the helicopter pilot and us. That was all that was there. There was nobody else.”

Damn, all that fame for all those years and lil Arnold wasn’t getting any benefits?

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What’s with Different Strokes and the extra light skinned “sisters” of the Aryan persuasion? Even Willis got in the act.

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I’m just saying.

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You’ve heard that “once you go black, you never go back” saying, right? Well Lake says Arnold went white, so you know it’s right.

I know, I know, “Whatchu talkin bout Lake?”

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Believe me, I know.

– Lake