Posts Tagged ‘Flavor of Love’

I Love Money: Hell Yeah

July 7, 2008

Seriously, this has potential to be the greatest show of all time.

That picture says it all.  It’s got my boy Chance and the always sexy Hoopz.  Plus all the other crazy chicks from Flavor of Love and the wildest cats from I Love New York.  Just for kicks, they added in the fake J’d out chicks from Rock of Love.

Fine, this is nothing but a copy of the Real World/Road Rules challenge, but there’s a kicker.  At least on the Real World, they try to find half respectable people.  Sure, they all have major personal and psychological problems, but at least they are partially legit.  These cats from Flavor of Love, I Love NY and Rock of Love don’t even have the semblance of legitimacy.  They are all straight clowns and fools.  Caricatures of real people, making no qualms about the fact that they are just out there trying to get famous.

How do you take that dude seriously?  Because he is a Stallionaire?  Why is he wearing slippers?

This cat Midget Mac was just asked how he would spend the money.  His response was “I’d probably give 200 to my momma…and my daddy.  Then the other fifty, I’d probably spend on strippers.  I’m just being real wit’chall.

We’ll Midget Mac wouldn’t have to go far to spend his money.  Half the chicks on this show have got to be in the business.  If they weren’t before, they are now.

You know Toasteee is down.  She looks like a real porn star.  You know.  Cute, but not actually cute.  Looks like she’s seen a few things.  Knows how to slide down a pole upside down, can do he splits and shake one ass cheek on command.  Actually, that was in her audition tape, they showed it about 5 times during the show.

Look, Hoopz seems to be the most legit chick on the show and even she breaks it down like this.

I’ll be watching.  This is more than just a trainwreck.  This is a pile of toy trains wrecking inside of a traincar about to be hit by a wrecking ball that is suspended between two bullet trains heading toward each other at 200 miles per hour.  That means I’ll be tuning in erry single week.

-Brock

Classic Material: “Pony” by Ginuwine

February 13, 2008

I know Lake’s classic material usually focuses on stuff that is actually good. I prefer to go with the ridiculous.

That video is foolish from the first open-shirt shimmy slide that Ginuwine does across the stage. Wait, lets back up to the fact that this cat spells his name Ginuwine. Where did he get that spelling, from Flavor of Love? Did Deelishis, Buckeey, and Hoopz help him with the spelling of that name? Lake mentioned that he thought this song was being performed by a woman the first time he heard it. I mean the “baby hair” slicked down, ridiculous sideburns, the full on stripper dance moves. This is pure comedy. The black guy in the saloon theme, everything.

What the hell do the lyrics mean?

I’m just a bachelorrrrrr,

Lookin’ for a Part-na!

Someone who knows how to riiiiiiiide,

Without even falling ooofffffffff.

Seriously, this dude launched his whole career on that BS.

You know what is hot though, is that Timbaland beat. The glorified beatbox, the wild sound effects, the pre-neptunes mid 90’s belonged to Timbaland. Here’s another hot one:

That beat was hot too. On a side note, how dame fine would Aaliyah be right now?

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She’d be fully marinated and thickened up by now. Damn.

Back to the subjectI think timbaland had me buy at least six albums I would not have bought otherwise. Ginuwine, Missy, Aaliyah, the whole crew. Quietly, that man Timbaland is having the most success ever on that Shock Therapy album. The crazy thing is there are still some hot joints on there. This dude may be five singles in right now. Beyonce and Rihanna albums are about the only joints that get five singles deep these days. Not only that, but this dude is killing white radio. You know what that means. It means Lake and his boys will be running these joints for at least another 9 months.

Give it to Me

The Way I Are

Scream

Apologize (two Versions)

Throw It On Me

Seriously, five singles off of a Timbaland album? With videos and everything? Do you know how much loot this cat has to be raking in right now? Old Timbo albums (let’s call it the Magoo era) were usually good for one radio ready beat and a big pile of BS. I guess he put is album on that Roger Clemons treatment like he did himself, because this album is on swole.

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I wonder if the album is also greasy…and silly looking…and playing itself. My Bad.

-Brock

I hate to say it, but Zeke is a disgrace

October 3, 2007

Awwww, damn.

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I tried not to talk about this story, lord knows I did. But I just can’t go silent any longer and keep my vast reservoir of credibility intact. Hot dammit!!! Isiah Thomas is one of my favorite players of all time. So when I say this, it really hurts me. But when a jury found yesterday that as a result of Zeke’s crude remarks and unwanted sexual advances (three words no working man EVER wants to hear with reference to “hisself”) Madison Square Garden, the parent company of the New York Knicks, had to pay former employee Anucha Browne Sanders $11.6 million, my man Zeke became a disgrace.

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It’s UGLY people. Real ugly. Because when they found that MSG was liable, they basically validated all those salacious charges that I hoped would sort of go away along with a”Jigga, Zeke not guil-tee” finding. All that talk about Zeke starting his sentences in reference to her with the slur “bitch” as in:

“Bitch, I don’t care what fools say, gimme Stephon Marbury AND Steve (not your) Franchise in my backcourt;”or

“Bitch, I told you to fill my candy dish without any red M&Ms, you know I aint ate the reds since the 1976 scare, now go pick them out…bitch.”

Awwww, I can’t take it. Then he tried to justify that patently horrible and indefensible practice by claiming some sort of “it’s me bitches” privilege. I mean did this cat actually try to sell the concept, in court mind you, that he possessed some sort of unwritten intra-racial license which allowed him to preface all comments with “bitch” when addressing a black woman in the workplace? Insanity! Damn Zeke, just damn. Who does this cat think this is?

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And how many pieces of premium and low rent tail has he gotten with the same tactics? The ghost jab in all this that cats aren’t understanding is that Zeke was (and still is), married at the time of these alleged “sexual advances” which does not bode well for the home life. Man oh man, this chick must have had some serious assets to get Zeke to want to get at her like this. I mean, she must have been an Andrew Firestone special or looked as tight as KG’s lady, hell, Robert’s lady from Making the Band 4? No? Hottie from Flavor of Love? Well, den, what does this enchanting and irresistible siren look like such that Zeke couldn’t lay off the damn heat?

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STOP, IT’S THE MUTHAFUCKING REMIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is the chick Zeke publicly disgraced himself for? What in the fuck is this world coming to? Lordy hep me.. seriously, I feel like Fred Sanford, “Elizabeth, I’m comin, cuz this is the BIG ONE”.. What the hell is wrong today?!?! Surely this can’t be a fair representation of the woman. Let’s see.

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Hot dammit! This babe is seriously no joke. I can’t lie, I’m a bit frightened over here. Maybe Zeke had to insult her to keep the chick at bey. I mean, let’s face it, she’s an intimidating force. Oh, oh now wait. I was just going to make a standard crack about this chick being able to post Zeke up rather than get sexually harassed by her, that was, until I realized that she really can (and has) POST A NILLA UP!!!! WTF?!

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Sheyut, if they’re gonna pay this broad $11.6 Million, they might as well start her alongside Zack Randolph. Forget David Lee, the kNicks need some hard hittin brothers from the streets. You know, heavy handed, rough and rugged types who will do the dirty work. Wild Anucha fits right in. Dammit, Zeke, what you want with a chick like that? Then again, we might have seen this coming:

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Don’t say it’s never crossed you mind. Hey, if you like kissing up on 6′, 9″ phenoms and he did.

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(Oh, that little smile on Zeke’s face, it’s just too much.)

Then something in a Triple X/extra wide, like this, might appeal to you.

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Oh man, I don’t feel right. I mean, my whole day has been ruined. I gotta get my compass back on track, so I’mma go head and post up some pictures I want to see. Sure, they have nothing to do with this topic, but I’m starting to feel like I don’t know who I am when a great icon like Zeke goes down this path. So here you go.

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(With all the silicone mamis running ’round here, sometimes we can forget that these things still occur naturally, in the wild. This babe has some serious things going on up top..wow. Too bad she’s crazy as hell.)

If this isn’t proof that ALL THINGS are relative then I don’t know what is, because Bootz from Flavor of Love 2 never looked(ed) better. I might have to give her a call. And I usually don’t do this, but let’s go head and keep the party going.

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Ahhh, emergency averted. Miss New Booty Buckeey herself just saved me from a meltdown. I value balance in all things. Believe you me, this was my Base to that Acid I saw above. OUT.

– Lake (keepin it real)