Posts Tagged ‘Fashion Police’

Somebody needs to tell Mike, he’s Mike

December 15, 2007

Remember back when Michael Jordan was literally the coolest cat in the world?

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Boy, Mike was on back then. Let’s face it, dude made the black high top shoe hot. He had the cut off tee together, the baggy shorts, hell, he even made the forced baldy stylish (and by “forced baldy” I mean, one way or another, your hair you are losing your hair, so you just go ahead and cut all that shit off and try to ride it out like that’s your style. You know, like you intended to have that “look” all along. Hence, “the forced baldy”).

Well those days are long gone. What exactly is up with Miguel’s gear these days?

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First off, you’re Mike so the money is not an issue. So we’re really just talking fashion sense and style right now. Truth be told about Mike, if you get him out of a suit, it’s like a fish without water. He’s clueless. I know Mike is 6′, 6″ but somebody has to tell him that Mom Jeans for men went out of style long about 5 years ago. I mean, what’s up with the height of that waist piece? Go and get yourself some low rise, less baggy, less scraggly joints that have actually seen the washer and dryer this quarter. And what’s that design on the front?

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And if I’m not mistaken, “Be like Mike” is rocking those Timberland soft leathers I had, literally, back in ’91. You know the ones where they’re a different color black depending on the way you rub the grain on the semi-suede soft leather? Anyway, that’s what he’s got on. And what’s with the business man overcoat? Get yourself a nice casual winter join.t player. I mean, let’s step this up a lil bit my man. I know Juanita got you for a pretty penny, but you’re an icon. We’ve got to maintain appearances here.

– Lake