Posts Tagged ‘fake butts’

I’m Shook: Booty Injections Are Running Rampant!

June 23, 2008

Us Versus Them. I’ve got a confession. I’ve been in mourning. My food doesn’t taste good. The sky just doesn’t seem as blue anymore. The leaves on the trees just don’t seem as green as they used to. My ride doesn’t seem as fast anymore.

The gel booty controversy has shaken me to my very core. For instance, this used to be my favorite Nike ad.

Is she really an athlete? Is she gellin’? I don’t know. I just don’t know. I’ve dedicated my life to the study of Assology. I developed the theory of Tailonomics. I lead the field. Once I found out about the gel…and I’m just not right. It’s like finding out Santa Claus isn’t real, that your parents don’t love each other anymore, and that Britney Spears ain’t tight any more all in the same day. I can’t take it.

Now there’s this.

This asshole is Anthony Donnell Solomon. He is down in Miami having “pumping parties” where he invites babes (and I use that term very loosely as he also helps trannys get a tailpiece…yikes). Is it really that easy? Tony Donnell up there doesn’t look like a doctor to me. He’s just rolling around the M.I.A. slanging syringes full of silicone? If this is street practice then it sure as hell is happening in legitimate places of plastic surgery.

Pumping Parties? Talk about what you don’t know won’t hurt you…but now I know. Forget “knowing is half the battle”, knowing this means that the battle is long gone and the war may be over.

I don’t know if I’m ready to give in just yet. But if these things are called pumping parties then Eddie Murphy might have been talking about Angel Lola Luv in his classic jam.

My girl wants to party all the time.




Truly disturbing.  I remember a time when if you heard a dude was “selling ass” you could trust that he was just running some hoes.  Then in the 90s you realized that some gay cats had gone and bastardized the term along with “DL” (which really hurt me by the way) and now this.  I mean, something aint right when you’re going to get some ass, but instead of hittin the club, you reach for your medical bag and a tube full of goo.  Lock this mufucker up and throw away the key!  This is like some scary ass, fucked up sequel to that movie Se7en.  I mean, who knows when or where these ass bandits will strike next?

Ok, but who else?  AHNT

– Lake

We need a congressional hearing on butt implants

January 28, 2008

Forget steroids, what we really need to find out is are these asses really what they proclaim to be. Like many of us, I’ve heard the stories about the butt pads the haters say Kim K rocks. But now this controversy is really heating up. I can’t lie, you really have to wonder how asses are getting so fat while stomachs and getting smoother and smoother. On the real, if it looks too good to be real, it probably isn’t real and now cats are actually coming for these video chick’s asses, literally. Peep Angel Lola Luv’s posterior game…


Unbelievable right? Yeah, but is it really unbelievable? Airbrush aside, you don’t go from Weaver’s chicken strip thighs, to an abrupt bowling ball tail like that. I mean, seriously, have you ever seen ANYTHING like that in nature? Me neither. And maybe here’s why:


I can’t lie, something really doesn’t look right. That little under ripple looks more like the ends of my air mattress than something the good lawd brought to us. Who knows, maybe the enhanced tail piece will be as common and accepted as the enhanced J. I mean, I just assume Lola’s breasts are fake, but I really don’t care. Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely not a fan of the fake J for personal use, but what do I care if it’s in a picture?


I don’t. Anyway, we’ve officially put Lola and Coco on fake ass watch. With Coco the evidence seems pretty strong, though you can never really know in the photoshop era. Still here’s the before:


Let’s get another angle.


And clearly here’s the after:


Here transformation makes Barry Bonds’ look like a junior high growth spurt. I just want these chicks to show up to congress, pull a Raffy Palmeiro and say:

“I have never, pulled back the skin on my ass and laid another coat of thickness down over top my tail feather. I don’t know how to say it more plainly than that. Never. The reference to my enhanced back on Mr. Arlington’s blog is completely false. ”

Uh huh.. To be continued….

– Lake