Posts Tagged ‘Erykah Badu’s ass’

Are You Gellin’? The Kardashian Arse Debate Rages On

June 12, 2008

If you’re a loyal reader of UvT you know there has been a crazy debate about Kim K’s ass in the comments section.

A self described and admitted ass geller (lol) “Zsa Zsa Cookie” told us that she knows Kardashian’s ass is not real. She further alleges that Kardashian’s dumper is filled up with the same substance, ass-a-licious love gel, that she put into her very own ass to give herself that synthetic thunder.

I shit you not. And then, she commanded me to google that “Hydrogel Butt Injections” to prove her point. Well, sheeeit, as a committed life long learner, you know her will I did obey and what I learnt astonished me. WOW.. There really is some wild chick flying around the country, selling bagged up ass to the highest bidder! What is this, some kind of bastardized Robin Hood, rob from the lab, give to the needy stripper? And it appears that dat ass is selling like HOE CAKES!!! Dude, I’m like my boy Will from the comments, if the ass gel is so good and so effective in the fight against negative arse-ness, why doesn’t everyone have it? Or do they?

Right and that’s when you start to feel those walls closing in on you. I mean, could you have been hittin gel for all these years and not even know it? If you were running your hands through Barbaro Mane for the better part of your adult life, why not?

Just as an aside, don’t you love how they make the broad so miserable in the “before” pic? I mean, she aint got no lip chap, is in desperate need of Proactiv and from the looks of it just got popped for trying to lift condoms from her local 7-11. I mean, basically they give you a mug shot, right? Then it’s weave time and everything changes. Suddenly our convicted felon has the custom fit and feel of Aubrey from Making the Band. And yes, I’ll resist expounding on Aubrey….this time.

Yo, I’m here to say that I can’t tell you if Kimmy K’s ass is gellin’ like magellean, ok? Lola Luv’s neither.

What I can tell you is that they’re both banging like a benzy and just like Mario Winans, I don’t wanna know. I mean, if you’re gellin, keep it on the lo.

Dude, let’s just try to put that crazy Angel Lola Luv arse into perspective.

I mean, it’s just hilarious to actually think for a microsecond that such an ass could even possibly be “real”. I mean, come on. Has ANYONE seen a body like that? Fine, I’ve seen asses that big, but they’re attached to a regulation sized lower back, a skrong thigh and study calf. I mean, could her shit be any more out of proportion?

I just don’t have that kind of expertise, but the ladies in the comments sections, some that have first ass errr hand knowledge of today’s technology, swear up and down that her ass (and Kimmy K’s) is as phony as a $3 bill.

Man, I hate this shit. It’s like when I first learned that chicks had weaves. Dude, literally, I really didn’t know and I aint been right since! I mean, you can’t trust anything these days. Double D breass-tah-sis have to be looked upon with suspicion, sub prime mortgage backed securities got my 401k actin’ a bitch, Jello allegedly has swine hoof in it (that’s why it’s so good?), and Petro costs $5 a gallon!!! I can’t trust long silky hair without a background check and two witnesses from the hairdressers. 1 in 4 mufuckas in NYC have herpes and now ass aint even ass! Seriously, this is what you call Lake Arlington hell. Forget the culture wars, can a nilla get a honest and wholesome table dance?

Oh yes, it’s all fucked up.

– Lake

Erykah Badu’s tailpiece deserves another look

February 22, 2008

Lord have mercy.

Andre 3000 is a genius.

– Lake

Thick black woman alert: Erykah Badu

July 10, 2007

Further evidence the Andre 3000 is the greatest southern rapper of all time and definitely in the discussion for best out there (if he would just rap again). As many may remember, young Dre used to date Erykah Badu, but what we didn’t know was that Dre had been hiding a little secret from the general public: Badu has a crazy arse piece! Check it.

Daaaaaayum!!! Reminds me of that classic Genuwine line from the arse man anthem “In those Jeans”:

You got that thunder, and it only makes me wonder
how it feels to get up in those jeans
(those jeans)
Really thick, like I like it,
Tell me is there room any more for me in those jeans
Lookin tasty, really scrumptious,
tell me is there any more room for me in those jeans

Come on Dre, all the time we would see Badu wrapped up in some Burlap sack, looking like the Stanford Tree or somethin’.


But you knew she had the goods laid up under there perfectly, just a sittin on dubbs!!! Wow. Ms. Badu, please, more spandex and hot pants… you can make em out of hemp for all we care, but the world needs to see what you’re bringing to the game. We’ll be waiting.


One of our loyal readers just sent me yet another tribute to Badu’s greatness. We’ll take it. I think Bernie Mack’s character in Friday said it best, “the lord is my shepherd, he know what I want.”