Posts Tagged ‘Drugs’

Tatum O’Neal Cracks Up

June 3, 2008

Tatum O’Neal was picked up buying crack on Sunday. Yes that is as crazy as it sounds. Sure, it isn’t that interesting that she’s on drugs, but who smokes crack? Also, if you’re famous, can’t you get your crack delivered? Plus, if I had to guess, Tatum would have been a cocaine chick. You know, crackheads are like meth tweakers, they usually end up looking like this:

If you’re on cocaine, you can still look like this:

Seriously, I’m not into drugs, but you gotta go for the clean high right? You don’t go to that crack rock until you hit the bottom. You know, you need to be living in a car and eating crackers and ketchup before you go to the crack rock. Invest in your high. What do rich people get high on these days? Ambien? Oxycontin? Red Bull, Codiene and Viagra? Hell I don’t know. But drop a couple of dollars on the good stuff.

As always, Us Versus Them always tracks down the interviews no one else can get. This time the interns were able to track down Tatum’s ex husband John McEnroe for his exclusive statement on the topic.

You ain’t lied John, you ain’t lied.

-Brock

What’s up with Tracy Morgan?

November 16, 2007

More proof to my theory that in order to be truly hilarious, like genius level, you have to actually be crazy. Like, on the brink, can’t function normally, got a screw loose, aint right, all wrong, self medicating, chemically imbalanced and just all together fucking loony kind of crazy.

We saw it with Martin Lawrence‘s crazy ass sitting in the middle of the LA Freeway in a plastic track suit with a bag of twizzlers and a .45, we saw it with Eddie picking up that he-she, getting Mel B. preggers and just generally having that weird ass look on his face that says “I aint right” ever since Boomerang, and of course we saw it from Dave Chappelle’s $50 million peace out/back to Africa tour. Now, we see a glimpse of it again. I ask you, what in the hell was Tracy Morgan doing? I guess the craziness is proportional with the funniness, so TM is only but so crazy.. See, if he had Richard Pryor’s skills, he would have been trying to hit ole girl when she leaned up on him.

– Lake