Posts Tagged ‘Dreadlocks’

Dreadlock Guy: We Need to Talk

June 24, 2008

You know we keep it real here at Us Versus Them.  We’ve already talked to neck tattoo guy, and gay face guy, but this one is a little touchy.  We need to have a talk with dreadlock guy.  Ok, here’s my first question.  How does it go from this:

Hey, you’ve gotta start somewhere.  Orderly, evenly spaced.  It all seems like a good idea at this point.  Then you miss a few sessions of getting your joints separated and suddenly you have one big dread.

Seriously, that dude has like 5 dreads.  It never starts off like that, so why does it end up like that?  You gotta keep em separated.

Also, why does the old man dread cat feel like he’s not going bald while the dreads just keep peeling off the dome like sod.  Hell I’ve seen the old cat lose a dread and just tie it back on like it never fell off.

No matter how wild this dude looks, balding dread guy, you’ve got a little bit of predator in you too.

Oh, and business dread cat.  I know, I know, you’re just expressing your culture and as long as you keep em tied up it is all good, right?

Wrong.

Look, I don’t care what kind of suit you have on, if you are also wearing a rubber band, a hair band, a scrunchie or whatever the hell you’ve got back there holding down that ponytail it is all negated.  Don’t worry, white ponytail dude is in the same boat.  Unless you are in IT, or you work in some sort of artistic capacity, no matter how much you want to trick yourself…you are losing at least two “upward mobility” points with that haircut.

Do yourself a favor, visit a barber today and let him know you need more than a lineup.

-Brock