Posts Tagged ‘DeAnna Bachelor’

The Bachelorette: DeAnna is just like the rest of em…

August 8, 2008

Lake was right dammit.  I don’t watch the damn Bachelor, but I know that Lake’s post started a damn outrage.  No one understood why DeAnna went for the free-spirited snowboarder.  We’ll the crack staff at Us Versus Them dug up the real deal.

Don’t be surprised if she ask where da cash at?

So the snowboarder is pushing a Masarati?  Oh yeah, he’s really down to earth.  Hey everyone who thought DeAnna didn’t go for the perfect prince of a man, you need to check your definition of prince.  I’m also sure this isn’t the first time Jesse’s car attracted some hose either.

By the way, is Deanna bad?

Look she’s clearly decent.  This right here is old school white woman thick.  I’m not talking new wave Kimmy K thick, I’m talking looks good in jeans, curves in all the right places, but not really bringing anything to the table thick.  You know the master assologist needs confirmation.  Let’s get that angle 2.

Uhhhhhh, yeah.  She could trick you in the right jeans and some dim lighting, but she’s not UvT quality.  DeAnna I’m glad you found true love.  I’m sure you loved being on tv, you love that car, you love being a People Magazine cover, and a prenuptual negotiation away from being independently wealthy.  I love it.  I bet that won’t be on the recap next season.

-Brock

===============Update=============

Damn straight I called the shit.  DeAnna was the most pushy bachelorette as a contestant I ever saw and then she just took it to a higher level when she became that Bachelorette with the big B.

She’s literally the worst.  She saw the big loot cakes and little brain and went right for Jesse.  Let’s be clear, when the second place dude’s profession went from “Real Estate Attorney” to “Account Executive,” we should have known he was done for.

DeAnna keeps her golddigging game just as tight as she keeps her crazy controlling woman game.  Now what’s not very tight is that midsection, which is fine, actually.  I must say, she sports it like it’s completely all good.  You kind of have to respect it in this day and age.  At any rate, with her “I’m saying she’s a gold digger” because “clearly she wouldn’t have picked Jesse, nilla” status, I’m just glad my boy, Best Bachelor Alive, Brad Womack really stuck it to her when he had a chance.

errrrrrrrr

I’m hoping he hit in the fantasy suite too. haaa  Dude, is there ANYTHING in reality tv better than the fantasy suite?  I can’t get over it… dude hands ole girl taht little card, you know the one that say, “Will you let me HIT?”  It’s so damn good.

– Lake

The best Bachelor ever: Brad Womack is ICY…

November 21, 2007

Aside from the fact that he’s got a brother named Chad (I never did understand that corny rhyming named twins thing) this cat Brad Womack, the Bachelor, has to go up there as one of the best reality stars ever.

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For real dough, you just gotta etch his name in that Reality TV Stanley Cup right behind Flavor Flav, Dr. Will Kirby/Mike Boogie, William Hung, Chance, Nathaniel Golden, and Hoopz (of course)…in fact, let’s go ahead and run a picture of Hoopz..

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More Hoopz is always good for this and any other site. And yes, I will hit you with that reverse angle.

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(with no airbrush in sight or site. What, she’s got a g-string on)

Ahem, back to where I was. This cat Brad is an awesome dude. I mean, he reminds me of an older and less pimperish version of myself because homey has dry ice running through those veins. Listen, I’ve always loved the Bachelor. It’s just a good concept. One dude gets to romp with 25 women, then see about half of them in bikinis, only to kiss about 8 or so of them. Ok, so that’s cool and I always enjoyed those kind of odds in my younger years. But the greatest innovation by far has to be those “Fantasy Suite” dates where the Bachelor basically leverages sex for a rose. I mean, really making those chicas put their money maker and their mouths were that dude is.

Classic. What’s so great about it is that each one of them really go into that suite as if ole boy isn’t doing the exact same thing with 2 other chicks. I know, I know, he — no, they just have to connect on a “higher level” do figure out if it’s true love. I’m quite sure “true love” is something like what Andre 3000 described in his song A Life in the Day of Benjamin Undre:

15 love, fit like glove
description was like
15 doves in a jacuzzi catching the holy ghost
making one woozy in the head and comatose

So he hits all three chicks of course and then eliminates one. This year that decision was easy. The one chick was ridiculous and her family was even worse. She just had to go. Hit her and quit her was actually quite fitting for her punk ass.

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But this cat, he hits the other two and then goes to that final rose ceremony, ring in hand, after they both tell him they love him and disses BOTH finalists.

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I like how he set it up too. Insert country drawl which was half Dubyah Bush half Forrest Gump, “I jus- said goodbye to Jen-nee“. Then ole girl smiles (not too fast now). And then he just acts like he needs a shot of Dasani, followed by that “excuse me” where he jumps off the throne. Oh man..

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“Eye jus caint tell you that I’m in luv wit you..and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to dew”. Sure it is. Yes, ole boy ices out both chicks, a Bachelor first!!! Oh man, now if ABC will only have the vision to go with The Bachelor, this is the Remix Part Deux, Brad does it again. I know I’d be watching. And how ballsy was it for him to come with that “you know, I wouldn’t change a thing and I have no regrets” with regard to how things turned out. He knew that he iced all 25 babes out, he just didn’t care. Love it. Thanks Brad.

– Lake Womack

===========Update=============

Wow, so they have this After the Final Rose show. Boy, Brad is on the spot. Dude actually caught some boos when he came out. Ugly. Then the show’s host, Chris, reveals that he asked the show to send DeAnna’s dad out there because he was going to propose to her. So homey asks him, “why did you do that?”, answer, “Obviously I have some problems”….lol Homey, you aint got no problems. You’ve got all the right answers and all the right moves. And by the way, Jenni, the Phoenix Suns dancer is a solid thick white woman. Did I ever say that? Let’s see what the interns have for us in the way of evidence of thickness.

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Hmmm, not really good enough, but I’ll take it. Again, this show should be run by UvT entertainment, then all the angles, hell, all their measurements and vital statistics would be up on screen at all times like the NFL combine or something.

Boy, this cat is just the best. He reapplied that ice to DeAnna on the wrap up show. “I’m confident in my decision from that day..” Let me translate that for you baby.. “Hit the bricks baby, I got bars to run and chicks to get at…this is what I do.”

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Respek.