Posts Tagged ‘David Duchovny is a Sex Addict’

David Duchovny is a Sex Addict

August 29, 2008

David Duchovny just checked into rehab for sex addiction. Sex addiction?  Hey, I understand how addictions work.  Drugs get a hold of you and condition your body to react to a certain chemical.  You are hooked and your body reacts violently when it isn’t there.  Same thing with drinking.  Alcoholics have to be in that place to feel right.  Or their tolerance is so high they always fly past “buzzing” to “passing out shitty drunk” before they even know what is going on.  When you go to rehab for those things, the lock you down, you don’t have access to your drug of choice, they get you help and teach you how to live life some other way.  Sex addiction, what the hell is the rehab for this?  No more fuckin?

I agree with D-Double here.  Perish the thought.  You know sex addiction is bullshit, right?  Okay, maybe it is real, but let me tell you something.  Every single man out there between the ages of 15 and 75 is a sex addict.

It’s programmed right in there at birth.  I promise.

Here’s the thing about sex addiction.  First of all, what is the cure?  What is rehab like?  Do they just make sure you stop having sex?  You can’t exactly go cold turkey on that one.  If you like to drink, you can fight to never have another drink.  Sex addicts?  They shall fuck again.  It’s like food.  Everyone is a food addict.  I have to eat several times a day.  I always need more.  I can’t ever get enough.  Even if I get some in the morning I might need more at least twice that day.  Are fat people just food addicts that really hit it hard?  No.  That’s why there isn’t rehab for food addiction.  Gotta eat.  It’s the same thing for sex addiction.

Let’s think of the sex addicts we know.  David Duchovny and Eric Benet.  Hmmmmmmm.  Famous guys.  That means they have plenty of access to sex.  Like I said, most guys are sex addicts, we want it all the time.  But these guys can get it all the time.  New sex.  Random sex.  Women who think they love you before they meet you sex.  Stalker sex.  Chicks who keep you on their “cheat list” sex.  They can get it.  If you have to have sex all the time and you don’t have a wiling partner…you aren’t a sex addict, you are a rapist.  Ok?  That is not what we’re talking about here.  You know what the key factor is?  Honestly?  They’re married. There has never been a so called sex addict in the world who isn’t.  I guarantee it.  Because if you aren’t married, it doesn’t matter.  Wilt the stilt?  10,000 women…not a sex addict.  Gene Simmons?  Not a sex addict.  These guys aren’t checking in with a problem.  This isn’t a social epidemic.  They’re just out there having a good ol time.  Sex addiction isn’t an addiction to sex.  It is the fact that you can’t stop sleeping with someone other than your wife.  That’s what you’re addicted to…new pussy.

You know how this conversation goes right.  Guy likes to have sex more than his wife (true probably 90% of the time).  Wife doesn’t want it as much.  Guy gets frustrated.  Guy goes to fulfill his needs elsewhere.  Guy gets caught.  Who’s fault is it?  Her fault.  They work it out, maybe wifey even starts giving it up a little more.  Doesn’t matter.  He cheats again…and again.   His fault yet?  Nope.  He’s an addict.  He has a problem.  He needs to go to rehab for his sex addiction.

Rihanna ain’t buying it.

Get it?  David Duchovny was freaking Fox Mulder.

He had one of the top shows on TV for damn near a decade.  Sure his movie flopped a few weeks ago, but there is still an entire generation of freaky, semi sci-fi slightly nerdy chicks that will throw the draws at Davy D everyday.  I feel like sex addiction like getting prescribed medical marijuana.  You just need to find the right doctor and you’re home free.

My name is Brock Hardon, and I’m a sex addict.

-Brock