Posts Tagged ‘Client 9’

Spitzer’s Hizzie on the Beach

June 10, 2008

I guess you can’t expect this babe to keep her clothes on, right? Ashley Alexandra Dupree was sunning it up over the weekend on the prestigious Jersey Shore.

Damn, I wonder what that tattoo says, “I fucked a Gobner and the entire State of New York!!”?

Now I’m not sure what a “Buss it Baby” is, but she’s got to be one, right? I can’t lie though, nobody ever called this chick ugly.

I wonder who “Unidentified Hoe Numba two” is there with her? I know, I know, she’s not necessarily a hoe, she could just be a friend. Right, she could be a friend…a friend who is a hoe. Let me tell you something. In my experience, hoes tend to run together. That’s why dudes often say, “look at them hoes over there.” And when was the last time you had a really good girl who ran with some straight hoes? Nah, heos are like mice. If you see one, there are far more where that came from and if you see two, they’re definitely part of the same crew. They’re hard as hell to get rid of and even when you kill a couple, they’ve just got about 4 or 5 more stepping up to take their place.

Hmmm, let’s see. Relatively thin, Amy Winehouse beak and hollywood cocaine skinny…Sure, I’d bet she’s about a 6 diamond level hoe and definitely hittable by Eliot’s standards.

Of course, Ashley is a full on 7 diamond, but we can’t all be a high priced hooker, ya dig? I’ll take my Ashley Alexandra Dupree sex tape any time now, thanks.

– Lake


Raafman in the comments says that the second chick on the grassy knoll is none other than Ashley Dupree’s moms!  That changes the standard altogether.  She is a 4 Diamond jump off if she is 21, but at an age of at least 45 (okay, let’s be real…Ashley is 23, Mom’s with a body like that is potentially 38 ) Mom’s has to be running through the “mature escort” game.  I mean she stays in the gym, and the gene pool is strong.  I mean talk about born and bred for the streets…


Mary Ann Loves That Mary Jane

March 11, 2008

 This post is going to need a theme song.  Click this before reading on:

Awwww, come here girl…

Now where was I?  Oh yeah, Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island got arrested for marijuana possession.


You know Mary Ann..always the “smart girl” to Ginger’s “pretty girl”, part of the eternal debate of “who’s hotter, Ginger or Mary Ann?”.  For anyone who doesn’t know, here’s Ginger.


She definitely was keeping it 60’s sexy right there.  Anyway, now we’ve got lots of answers.  If we never found out how they got off the island, we definitely know how they got off on the island.  Mary Ann was packing that cheeba in coconuts and blazing between takes.  Hell, as far as I’m concerned we know who is hotter now too.  Who do you want, the chick that looks good, or the babe bringing a few dime bags to the party?

Hell, you know if ole girl is still blazing at 69 years old, she was a straight freak back when she was 26 and every white boy with a TV’s dream.

Hey Eliot…uhhhhh, Client 9, Mary Ann is about 5″5′, 105, brunette…just like you like ’em.  You tryin’ to holla?


Gotta think about it?  I feel you.